SPN fic: Two Crack Scenarios in Which Lucifer Rises
Title: Two Crack Scenarios in Which Lucifer Rises
Author: uselessplayback
Rating: G and PG respectively
Genre and/or Pairing: Gen, Crack (Dean, Sam, Lucifer) and Dean/Castiel, Lucifer/Castiel, Lucifer, Sam
Spoilers: Season 4x22
Warnings: Crack!
Word Count: 233 and 327 respectively
Summary: Lucifer rises but he is not exactly what anyone expected.
Notes: Uh. . .my brain is a very strange place, people. Also, if you never watched the original BSG, you might be kind of scratching your head and going, "Wait--what?"
By Your Command
The flash of light blinds Dean but the sudden darkness is worse. He's still seeing the afterimages of Lucifer's weird regeneration mojo so he doesn't really notice at first when the guy who'd just materialized in front of them drops to one knee in a bow and looks up at Sam.
"To you who have freed me, I shall grant a boon, Oh Destroyer of Worlds." And, OK, Dean thinks, this isn't what he'd been expecting. Sam is just as floored. His mouth opens and closes then opens again.
The top of Lucifer's head makes weird beeping noises and kind of glows. It reminds Dean of those telephones in the nineties, all transparent plastic casing to show the mechanism underneath to full effect.
"Uh," Sam says uncertainly, still recovering from the shock. "Don't destroy the world?"
The thing that is Lucifer bows his head in obeisance. "By your command," he says in a weirdly cheerful flat mechanical voice and sort of rolls away, gold lame vestament trailing behind him.
After a long silence where Dean and Sam blink at the spot Lucifer has just vacated and then blink at each other Dean says, "Dude, does this mean you're Gaius Baltar?"
"Shut up," Sam mutters, hiding his face in his hands in utter mortification.
"Are you feeling a sudden urge to wear a cape?"
"Oh my god, I hate you so much," Sam moans.
--
To lessen your confusion, an image of this Lucifer can be found here.
--
Days of Our Lives: Revelation Edition
"Shut your eyes!" Castiel shouts after he materializes somewhere between Sam and Dean and the pillar of overwhelming light that seems to grow brighter by the second. Castiel looks kind of panicked and worried but he stands his ground and Dean knows from first hand experience that when Castiel tells a bitch to shut his eyes, bitch better shut his eyes. So, Dean closes his, flattening a hand against them in an effort to protect himself as much as possible from the overwhelming light show that even now sneaks through his fingers and threatens to sear this eyeballs. Dean hopes that Sam has the sense to do the same.
There is a blinding and nearly deafening explosion of energy and the room goes dark but Dean leaves his hand over his face just in case his eyes are still sensitive. When he takes it away, he's not really prepared for what he sees.
"OK," Sam says beside him, "So I wasn’t expecting that."
Dean on the other hand is less than pleased. Lucifer looks like something straight out of a Mike Carey comic and he’s got Castiel pinned in place with his mouth. Castiel flails out a hand and tries to turn in Dean's direction, eyes wild and panicked but Lucifer has him gripped pretty tight and doesn't seem to want to let go.
Dean doesn't really think about consequences, not when he's seeing red and marches over, grabbing Lucifer by the collar of his sport coat and dragging him away from Castiel. Lucifer looks a little dazed and more than a little pleased with himself when Dean punches him in the face. The blow does less to hurt Lucifer than nearly break Dean's knuckles but he's so enraged he doesn't care.
"Bitch," Dean growls, "hands off my angel." And turns around to grab Castiel’s face and kiss him.
"Oh my god," Sam says, "Why do I feel like I'm watching Days of Our Lives: Revelation Edition?"
Somewhere, off to the side Lucifer smirks and says, "I've been wanting make an entrance like that for ages."
Author: uselessplayback
Rating: G and PG respectively
Genre and/or Pairing: Gen, Crack (Dean, Sam, Lucifer) and Dean/Castiel, Lucifer/Castiel, Lucifer, Sam
Spoilers: Season 4x22
Warnings: Crack!
Word Count: 233 and 327 respectively
Summary: Lucifer rises but he is not exactly what anyone expected.
Notes: Uh. . .my brain is a very strange place, people. Also, if you never watched the original BSG, you might be kind of scratching your head and going, "Wait--what?"
By Your Command
The flash of light blinds Dean but the sudden darkness is worse. He's still seeing the afterimages of Lucifer's weird regeneration mojo so he doesn't really notice at first when the guy who'd just materialized in front of them drops to one knee in a bow and looks up at Sam.
"To you who have freed me, I shall grant a boon, Oh Destroyer of Worlds." And, OK, Dean thinks, this isn't what he'd been expecting. Sam is just as floored. His mouth opens and closes then opens again.
The top of Lucifer's head makes weird beeping noises and kind of glows. It reminds Dean of those telephones in the nineties, all transparent plastic casing to show the mechanism underneath to full effect.
"Uh," Sam says uncertainly, still recovering from the shock. "Don't destroy the world?"
The thing that is Lucifer bows his head in obeisance. "By your command," he says in a weirdly cheerful flat mechanical voice and sort of rolls away, gold lame vestament trailing behind him.
After a long silence where Dean and Sam blink at the spot Lucifer has just vacated and then blink at each other Dean says, "Dude, does this mean you're Gaius Baltar?"
"Shut up," Sam mutters, hiding his face in his hands in utter mortification.
"Are you feeling a sudden urge to wear a cape?"
"Oh my god, I hate you so much," Sam moans.
--
To lessen your confusion, an image of this Lucifer can be found here.
--
Days of Our Lives: Revelation Edition
"Shut your eyes!" Castiel shouts after he materializes somewhere between Sam and Dean and the pillar of overwhelming light that seems to grow brighter by the second. Castiel looks kind of panicked and worried but he stands his ground and Dean knows from first hand experience that when Castiel tells a bitch to shut his eyes, bitch better shut his eyes. So, Dean closes his, flattening a hand against them in an effort to protect himself as much as possible from the overwhelming light show that even now sneaks through his fingers and threatens to sear this eyeballs. Dean hopes that Sam has the sense to do the same.
There is a blinding and nearly deafening explosion of energy and the room goes dark but Dean leaves his hand over his face just in case his eyes are still sensitive. When he takes it away, he's not really prepared for what he sees.
"OK," Sam says beside him, "So I wasn’t expecting that."
Dean on the other hand is less than pleased. Lucifer looks like something straight out of a Mike Carey comic and he’s got Castiel pinned in place with his mouth. Castiel flails out a hand and tries to turn in Dean's direction, eyes wild and panicked but Lucifer has him gripped pretty tight and doesn't seem to want to let go.
Dean doesn't really think about consequences, not when he's seeing red and marches over, grabbing Lucifer by the collar of his sport coat and dragging him away from Castiel. Lucifer looks a little dazed and more than a little pleased with himself when Dean punches him in the face. The blow does less to hurt Lucifer than nearly break Dean's knuckles but he's so enraged he doesn't care.
"Bitch," Dean growls, "hands off my angel." And turns around to grab Castiel’s face and kiss him.
"Oh my god," Sam says, "Why do I feel like I'm watching Days of Our Lives: Revelation Edition?"
Somewhere, off to the side Lucifer smirks and says, "I've been wanting make an entrance like that for ages."