Havent updated in a long time... hear me whine.
So... last week was pretty stressful.. working... performing up at the U... not sleeping for some reason. lol My dad calls me checkers or wreckers now (named after a racer who would either win the race, or crash) cuz I have all A's n F's, More a's than f's, and even an A in Physics, WHAAT! :)
I've been so completely exhausted... like, so fatigued from my schedule that my body aches and my head always hurts. But none compares to my disappointment today. I wanted to die.
Jac, the girl I totally had a crush on... the one that disappeared from my life a few months ago because she was placed in a mental hospital.. came back today. My stomach totally fell out when I saw her, and I kept staring, but she was way cool about it, like she always was when I looked too longingly. She totally understood me.. shes pregnant, and engaged, and they have nothing to do with me. I wanted to feel happy for her, and I was really supportive.. but this girl was one of a kind. Eternal Sunshine style. The bizarre manurisms, she was absoulutely gorgeous too... and offered that glimpse into the exciting world. But these types of girls are never attracted to me. And thats fine, as it keeps me in misery... and misery is inspirational.
Todavia tengo la letra que me diò... siempre lo tengo... en mi mochila... y la texta...
I told her I had the biggest crush on her, but... its not like we both didnt know. I just felt I had to tell her. Jesus... there better be one just like her in Hawaii.
This headache will not go away... i've had one for a day or two... and it feels like my brain is constantly moving.
This past week I cant seem to fall asleep until well after midnight.. and I hate tossing and turning. Its so frustrating. Not getting good sleep makes me irritable, and I turn into a total fucking dick and I can't remember any of it. Irish amnesia. If you see me tomorrow, I wont remember it. Isnt that scary? Its scary for me... I keep forgetting the most trivial things... like at work. I made this guy a ham & swiss. Simple. Got to the register and couldnt remember for the life of me what I was doing. I guess I woke up.. and I was at work. I had no fucking clue what I just made him... its like trying to remember a dream completely upon awakening. You never really catch all of it.. just flashes. I feel like my brain isnt getting enough oxygen or something... the headache seems to dull when I drink a lot of water... but never quite goes away.
But.. it'll all be worth it when I can go to Hawaii... just need to sacrifice now. I just hope I dont lose too many braincells...
Aubri called today... I probably shouldn'tve answered my phone... but I was so glad she was actually calling me that just started chattin at work. I miss chillin with that cutie... a lot.
Alright guys... my eyes are starting to get heavy from the immense pressure building behind them.
Much love to all of you, and if I say something stupid, or shitty. I wont remember I did it... im sorry. Its like temporary insanity :(
... pregnant.
I've been so completely exhausted... like, so fatigued from my schedule that my body aches and my head always hurts. But none compares to my disappointment today. I wanted to die.
Jac, the girl I totally had a crush on... the one that disappeared from my life a few months ago because she was placed in a mental hospital.. came back today. My stomach totally fell out when I saw her, and I kept staring, but she was way cool about it, like she always was when I looked too longingly. She totally understood me.. shes pregnant, and engaged, and they have nothing to do with me. I wanted to feel happy for her, and I was really supportive.. but this girl was one of a kind. Eternal Sunshine style. The bizarre manurisms, she was absoulutely gorgeous too... and offered that glimpse into the exciting world. But these types of girls are never attracted to me. And thats fine, as it keeps me in misery... and misery is inspirational.
Todavia tengo la letra que me diò... siempre lo tengo... en mi mochila... y la texta...
I told her I had the biggest crush on her, but... its not like we both didnt know. I just felt I had to tell her. Jesus... there better be one just like her in Hawaii.
This headache will not go away... i've had one for a day or two... and it feels like my brain is constantly moving.
This past week I cant seem to fall asleep until well after midnight.. and I hate tossing and turning. Its so frustrating. Not getting good sleep makes me irritable, and I turn into a total fucking dick and I can't remember any of it. Irish amnesia. If you see me tomorrow, I wont remember it. Isnt that scary? Its scary for me... I keep forgetting the most trivial things... like at work. I made this guy a ham & swiss. Simple. Got to the register and couldnt remember for the life of me what I was doing. I guess I woke up.. and I was at work. I had no fucking clue what I just made him... its like trying to remember a dream completely upon awakening. You never really catch all of it.. just flashes. I feel like my brain isnt getting enough oxygen or something... the headache seems to dull when I drink a lot of water... but never quite goes away.
But.. it'll all be worth it when I can go to Hawaii... just need to sacrifice now. I just hope I dont lose too many braincells...
Aubri called today... I probably shouldn'tve answered my phone... but I was so glad she was actually calling me that just started chattin at work. I miss chillin with that cutie... a lot.
Alright guys... my eyes are starting to get heavy from the immense pressure building behind them.
Much love to all of you, and if I say something stupid, or shitty. I wont remember I did it... im sorry. Its like temporary insanity :(
... pregnant.