"darling, won't you ease my worried mind?"
today sucked. very dissappointing. sure it had its moments but whatever.
anyways, i'm troubled tonight. the family "reunion" left me with a metaphorically bad taste in my mouth. i expected so much more. it was basically my sister, a couple cousins and my aunts sitting around for 10 hours at various locations. eh, i mean it had its moments and i did get to see my cousins and my sister but i guess i was hoping for something resembling our last ACTUAL reunion where EVERYBODY came and it was festive and fun and crazy but whatev whatev.
another thing that was off was the fact that i feel odd and often random periods of tension with people, basically everyone, like this schizo love/hate relationship. i felt it with many today but some conversations i had with people tonight triggered something and i can't let go of this. i could call someone and it'd be like "yay anthony! you're great i love you!" and then in a matter hours, even minutes, it's like "hey...i got shit to do. so uhhhh i gotta go" and i dunno where it comes from?!? no wonder i'm prone to drinking and drugs so much, haha. this is pretty much the norm with a certain few but it eventually happens with all people i associate myself with and i dunno if its me? them? both?
*sigh* good thing i'm not supressing my sorrows at a party.
so it seems my spring break has come to an end and can only be concluded using one word: disappointment.
oh well. no work tommorow. gonna do jack shit. so that should be fun.
anyways, i'm troubled tonight. the family "reunion" left me with a metaphorically bad taste in my mouth. i expected so much more. it was basically my sister, a couple cousins and my aunts sitting around for 10 hours at various locations. eh, i mean it had its moments and i did get to see my cousins and my sister but i guess i was hoping for something resembling our last ACTUAL reunion where EVERYBODY came and it was festive and fun and crazy but whatev whatev.
another thing that was off was the fact that i feel odd and often random periods of tension with people, basically everyone, like this schizo love/hate relationship. i felt it with many today but some conversations i had with people tonight triggered something and i can't let go of this. i could call someone and it'd be like "yay anthony! you're great i love you!" and then in a matter hours, even minutes, it's like "hey...i got shit to do. so uhhhh i gotta go" and i dunno where it comes from?!? no wonder i'm prone to drinking and drugs so much, haha. this is pretty much the norm with a certain few but it eventually happens with all people i associate myself with and i dunno if its me? them? both?
*sigh* good thing i'm not supressing my sorrows at a party.
so it seems my spring break has come to an end and can only be concluded using one word: disappointment.
oh well. no work tommorow. gonna do jack shit. so that should be fun.