(no subject)
so last night i had a really really bad nightmare. like i mean BAD i woke up with tears running down my face, a pain in my chest and i was sweating like i had just ran a fucking mile. i dreamt that andy broke up with me for some bitch named stacy or sarah and when he asked for the promise ring back he turned to her and said that he was going to turn it in for a diamond ring because she was worth a whole diamond and not just chips like me. through out the whole dream i kept trying to get him to change his mind reminding him of the things that he loves about me and it just wasnt working. when i woke up i had tears running down my face, a painin my chest and i was soaked with sweat. i woke him up and told him about the dream and he reasured me that i was awake now and that he did love me and that everything was ok.
the other day i had a nightmare but i dont remember the exact details of the dream but i remember that i was in a room that was a portal between america and towel heads(people of all race with white towels wrapped on their heads). i woke up wimpering and shaking.
its so wierd because i havent had nighmares like this in like 4 or 5 years. the last nightmares i had were either i was in a wormhole spinning or one where everything kept getting microscopically small or skyscraper big and when i had those dreams i would wake up on my bathroom floor sick to my stomach. i would fall asleep on my bed.
i think im having these nightmare because im about to reach a different stage in my life. im about to be moving out on my own this time paying my own bills, supporting myself, actually settleing down, finding a carreer and im growing up.
i think im scared.
i know im really scared. im scared because andy is the most importnat thing in my life and i love him so much and if i lost him id be lost.. id have no sholder to cry on. i mean i know there are 3 people that would be there for me but 2 out of the 3 have boyfriends and when your in that state of mind you dont wanna be around couples.
i think i just need a good party. a GOOD party. one that reminds me of who i am. because latley i feel like ive lost myself.
i just keep telling myself everythings going to be alright. i hope so
the other day i had a nightmare but i dont remember the exact details of the dream but i remember that i was in a room that was a portal between america and towel heads(people of all race with white towels wrapped on their heads). i woke up wimpering and shaking.
its so wierd because i havent had nighmares like this in like 4 or 5 years. the last nightmares i had were either i was in a wormhole spinning or one where everything kept getting microscopically small or skyscraper big and when i had those dreams i would wake up on my bathroom floor sick to my stomach. i would fall asleep on my bed.
i think im having these nightmare because im about to reach a different stage in my life. im about to be moving out on my own this time paying my own bills, supporting myself, actually settleing down, finding a carreer and im growing up.
i think im scared.
i know im really scared. im scared because andy is the most importnat thing in my life and i love him so much and if i lost him id be lost.. id have no sholder to cry on. i mean i know there are 3 people that would be there for me but 2 out of the 3 have boyfriends and when your in that state of mind you dont wanna be around couples.
i think i just need a good party. a GOOD party. one that reminds me of who i am. because latley i feel like ive lost myself.
i just keep telling myself everythings going to be alright. i hope so