001 // nah man. nah.

[usedkeyhand]

[ Action: Today, it can safely be said, has not been a good one for Jake the Dog. As tends to happen when you wake up in a yard, without your bro, without your powers and with no idea what's going on. Naturally, he doesn't stick around. He's got himself the scent of one Finn the Human and by grod he's gonna follow it!! All through the streets

Comments

[nolongeralpha]

[There is a bright orange crow wearing incredibly cool iShades perched in the tree outside your house now]

...you look familiar.

[Almost like running into live action Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff would probably fee]

[usedkeyhand]

[ Oh hey talking bird with sunglasses, what's up? ]

You sure don't!

[nolongeralpha]

[...yeah this... dog bears an uncanny resemblance to Finn's shitty drawings]

...you know a kid named Finn? I think he was looking for you.

[usedkeyhand]

Yeah, that's my brother, man! Where's he at? I'm pretty sure the guy in there is a clone or somethin', he's gotta see it. [ pointing to the door. ]

[nolongeralpha]

Oh, is this his house?

[Flying over to perch on the window and look in]

...bad news, dude. Your bro's been droned.

[usedkeyhand]

What the math does that mean? [ Why is it bad news and can he find some sort of magical artifact to make it not a thing that's happened??? ]

[nolongeralpha]

It means your buddy was here, but now they've brainwashed him into the idiot you see in there. Which is a shame 'cause he was actually a pretty cool kid.

[usedkeyhand]

Hey, he's totally still a cool kid! Just, y'know, I gotta go punch a warlock or something to fix him. This is usually a warlock thing.

[nolongeralpha]

Not actually a bad theory since we really have no idea who's really running this show, but we've already figured out they are pretty much unpunchable, so you might have a hard time with that.

It's always possible he comes back though. Finn, I mean.

[usedkeyhand]

Nothing's unpunchable, dude. [ ...man he wishes he had a donut today. This is usually the sort of announcement he makes with food. ] I mean we'd probably have to dig up some gauntlets and missiles and stuff, but we could totally do it once we found 'em.

[nolongeralpha]

Yeah, maybe, but these guys are kind of in the reality-warper category. Try to punch them, suddenly you are on the other side of town. Or more likely, droned.

Also, ghosts are unpunchable.

[usedkeyhand]

Not if you use a ghost punch! [ May or may not be making that up. ]

[nolongeralpha]

Shit man, that sounds top tier. I'm sure a ghost punch would be super effective on a ghost.

[usedkeyhand]

Exactly! You've just gotta be like euuuraaaaaagh--! [ GESTURE. SWOOP. Not... not quite as impressive when you can't make yourself ten feet tall to do it but whatever man. ]

[nolongeralpha]

Pretty good, any ghosts better start watching their asses or they're gonna get even deader.

I guess you're pretty cool. I'm Dave by the way.

[usedkeyhand]

Hey man. I'm Jake. [ Wave. Ever good for his attention span in serious situations. ]