[Video]

[usedflail]

[Issei points the camera at himself at first, scowling. His voice is deep, but shakes every once in a while.]

There is a small, purple and yellow girl-monster-thing with me at the moment. It was here when I woke up.

[He turns the camera on a Smoochum, looking up at him innocently.]

It keeps trying to kiss me.First of all, I am never going to

Comments

[donteatmyliver]

Thankfully mine never tried to kiss me. Though I guess it doesn't have lips anyway... But it's not going to go away. They'll find a way to stick to you.

[Video appears to be the default.]

[usedflail]

[...on the one hand, adult, therefore reasonable authority figure. On the other hand, man with a bolt through his head. Issei visibly weighs the two before answering.]

What makes it so interested in me? Apart from the fact that I just woke up in a strange place, I'm no different from any of the people who live here.

[mhmm more or less]

[donteatmyliver]

[Take out the reasonable and you're almost there.]

You own it. Or it owns you. I'm still trying to figure out how they technically see it. My little... Whatever-it's-called kept trying to attach itself to me. Literally.

[usedflail]

But I've never seen it before in my life. How did I come into ownership of it?

...the same way I ended up here, I suppose. This creature ought to be the least of my worries.

[donteatmyliver]

Couldn't have said it better myself. And before you ask, no there isn't any way to get back to where you were unless you know something none of the rest of us do. On a more pleasant note, at least it won't run off like some other people's have been doing.

[usedflail]

If you knew that, you wouldn't be here either.

Hm, thank you. You've been quite helpful. May I have your name?

[donteatmyliver]

Precisely.

Franken Stein. And before you ask: Yes, I'm serious; no, I haven't heard of the book until just recently; and I'm unsure if my mother hated me or not when she named me that.

[usedflail]

I wasn't going to ask anything as rude as that. Good to meet you, Stein-san.

[donteatmyliver]

I wasn't trying to imply anything, that's just how everyone else reacted. It's good to meet you too, whoever you are.

[usedflail]

Issei Ryudo. I said earlier.

[donteatmyliver]

Did you? I guess I was more focused on the horror you were expressing on being kissed.

[usedflail]

It was completely justified! I'd never let a human girl do that to me, she looks like one, and apparently she's sentient. How else should I react?

[donteatmyliver]

...I feel the need to let you know that cooties aren't real when you're over thirteen. And that it's not really human.

[usedflail]

I happen to be a monk. Contact with women rarely produces anything good, romantic contact even less so. And she's close enough.

[donteatmyliver]

A monk? Ah, more rules to follow... It's a pet. Like a dog who licks you too much. Nothing more unless you make yourself see more.

[usedflail]

...I'll attempt to tolerate her.