are you aware of what you make me feel, right now i feel invisible to you, like im not real...
didn't you feel me lock my arms around you...
well today i didnt go to school again...yeah i couldnt breathe...so i went to the doctor (for like the fucking 20th time this year alone) and they did an EKG on me...i was really scared and confused...its not a good feeling to feel like theres about 2 irons on top of your chest pressing and never letting go...the doctor says its 'just the stress that teenagers go through' but its so much more than that...i have no problems at school, everything is fine...i have good grades, good friends, good teachers,...i just dont know whats wrong with me...you know what the irony is? the last time i wrote in my journal, i wrote that i loved nelson and he meant everything to me...in as little as 4 hrs, he did something to me that i will never forget...im not going into too much detail because it still hurts me really bad...im surprised i even forgave him for it...i guess thats what people do when theyre in love...so anyways my dad made an appointment with the lung specialist of miami something or other hospital...so i guess im going to finally see if what i just have is asthma or something else thats serious...wow theres only 6 days of school left and im still complaining about the way i feel...:-( i guess what nelson did to me made me worse...because now i feel 10x lousier than i was before...whenever i thought about him, everything would just seem to go away and i would feel better...now whenever i think about him i wanna blow up...:-( but i love him.....i just dont think he obviously feels that way about me...if he really did love me, he wouldnt have done what he did...OK so anyways...i need to finish talking to lamar, we havent talked in the longest time and we need to catch up, bye<3
well today i didnt go to school again...yeah i couldnt breathe...so i went to the doctor (for like the fucking 20th time this year alone) and they did an EKG on me...i was really scared and confused...its not a good feeling to feel like theres about 2 irons on top of your chest pressing and never letting go...the doctor says its 'just the stress that teenagers go through' but its so much more than that...i have no problems at school, everything is fine...i have good grades, good friends, good teachers,...i just dont know whats wrong with me...you know what the irony is? the last time i wrote in my journal, i wrote that i loved nelson and he meant everything to me...in as little as 4 hrs, he did something to me that i will never forget...im not going into too much detail because it still hurts me really bad...im surprised i even forgave him for it...i guess thats what people do when theyre in love...so anyways my dad made an appointment with the lung specialist of miami something or other hospital...so i guess im going to finally see if what i just have is asthma or something else thats serious...wow theres only 6 days of school left and im still complaining about the way i feel...:-( i guess what nelson did to me made me worse...because now i feel 10x lousier than i was before...whenever i thought about him, everything would just seem to go away and i would feel better...now whenever i think about him i wanna blow up...:-( but i love him.....i just dont think he obviously feels that way about me...if he really did love me, he wouldnt have done what he did...OK so anyways...i need to finish talking to lamar, we havent talked in the longest time and we need to catch up, bye<3