ive got my head but my head is over, cant keep control but its taking over me...
turn off the sun for the stoners in the sky, the more i give to you the more i die...
so right now im about to go outside and get a tan...:D i just finished putting on my bikini so all i need is the stereo and a pen and pad...when i woke up this morning, i started thinking about a lot of things...i was thinking about how one time, i got really depressed to the point of killing myself and i wrote something on a piece of paper...last night before i went to sleep, i was looking through my dresser drawer for something and i found that note...im not really all that depressed anymore but there comes a point in your life where you actually realize nothing is what it used to be...this is what i wrote
i want someone to always be thinking about me,
the cards weren't played right and so many words were left unsaid,
im choking on nothing, im screaming for something to be done,
life is gonna change someday without me...
yeah really weird and it creeped me out...:-\ it kinda made me feel a little odd but whatever. i mean, well...lol i dunno. theres just so many people out there in the world that are extremely fucking depressed and cant reach out to anyone and thats how i felt. but now everything has changed...im a totally different person than i was when i wrote that...i was smoking weed in my room literally with the window open and drinking...OKIE i admit i still drink...lol shhh but i mean not cuz im depressed...but cuz i mean cmon' everyone fucking drinks when they're a teenager...seriously...well except for the people who actually wanna be sober for the rest of their lives...well enough of that, today when i woke up around 11, i went out with my mom to pick up a few things for me and to get some food to eat...:D oh god i almost forgot to mention the most important thing....the youth fair! :D okie so yesterday was totally awesome...i got burned so badly on my face and my arms are brown to a crisp...lol...well dayreem and i went on this haunted house ride that had to be my fav cuz i was pissing myself and screamed so hard...we went into a bunch of different fun houses and into this thing full of animals...really cool :D i took a bunch of pics and im gonna develop em soon (i couldnt today cuz my mom isnt feeling too great :-\) but no worries, ya'll will be able to see them shortly :D omg i swear to god, maria went on every single freaking ride whether it was something going totally fast, or one of those rides that can make you puke in like 2 sec....:-\ yeah, that reminds me, dayreem actually did puke after a ride and i felt soooo bad :-( we went on that ride thats a boat that goes side to side and turns upside down and she was sitting next to me...i was looking at her and she was covering her mouth looking like she was gonna vommit...i was like 'omg are you okie?' she was like 'no luly i think im gonna spew any second' so i screamed out super loud 'STOP THE RIDE STOP IT STOP IT!' and the guy who was running the ride was like 'what why?' im all 'cant u see shes about to PUKE!' hes all 'ooo im sorry' and he stopped it just in time...as soon as she got out, i had to hold her hair back and there she went....:-\ god im gonna be such a good mommy :D i can help people not only with their problems, but with their sicknesses :-\ well yeah other than that, we got a bunch of mardi gras beads and i WON something!! i won this lil care bear thats sea green and hes called 'wish bear'.....whatever that means? lol...then i went into this lil tent where they make things and i asked this guy to make me a bracelet that says 'LULY' on it with butterflies next to it...omg its totally beautiful..he made it in like 2 min and it only cost 5 bucks :-P some of my friends did things to piss me off yesterday but i guess im okie with it now...it totally wasnt cool what they did but whatever, girls will be fucking girls...:-\ anyway, thats basically how yesterday went. well the sun is soooo bright right now and it looks really good to just soak...im gonna head outside....ill be back laterz :D toodles<3
satellite headlines read...someone's secrets have been stolen from a king...
so right now im about to go outside and get a tan...:D i just finished putting on my bikini so all i need is the stereo and a pen and pad...when i woke up this morning, i started thinking about a lot of things...i was thinking about how one time, i got really depressed to the point of killing myself and i wrote something on a piece of paper...last night before i went to sleep, i was looking through my dresser drawer for something and i found that note...im not really all that depressed anymore but there comes a point in your life where you actually realize nothing is what it used to be...this is what i wrote
i want someone to always be thinking about me,
the cards weren't played right and so many words were left unsaid,
im choking on nothing, im screaming for something to be done,
life is gonna change someday without me...
yeah really weird and it creeped me out...:-\ it kinda made me feel a little odd but whatever. i mean, well...lol i dunno. theres just so many people out there in the world that are extremely fucking depressed and cant reach out to anyone and thats how i felt. but now everything has changed...im a totally different person than i was when i wrote that...i was smoking weed in my room literally with the window open and drinking...OKIE i admit i still drink...lol shhh but i mean not cuz im depressed...but cuz i mean cmon' everyone fucking drinks when they're a teenager...seriously...well except for the people who actually wanna be sober for the rest of their lives...well enough of that, today when i woke up around 11, i went out with my mom to pick up a few things for me and to get some food to eat...:D oh god i almost forgot to mention the most important thing....the youth fair! :D okie so yesterday was totally awesome...i got burned so badly on my face and my arms are brown to a crisp...lol...well dayreem and i went on this haunted house ride that had to be my fav cuz i was pissing myself and screamed so hard...we went into a bunch of different fun houses and into this thing full of animals...really cool :D i took a bunch of pics and im gonna develop em soon (i couldnt today cuz my mom isnt feeling too great :-\) but no worries, ya'll will be able to see them shortly :D omg i swear to god, maria went on every single freaking ride whether it was something going totally fast, or one of those rides that can make you puke in like 2 sec....:-\ yeah, that reminds me, dayreem actually did puke after a ride and i felt soooo bad :-( we went on that ride thats a boat that goes side to side and turns upside down and she was sitting next to me...i was looking at her and she was covering her mouth looking like she was gonna vommit...i was like 'omg are you okie?' she was like 'no luly i think im gonna spew any second' so i screamed out super loud 'STOP THE RIDE STOP IT STOP IT!' and the guy who was running the ride was like 'what why?' im all 'cant u see shes about to PUKE!' hes all 'ooo im sorry' and he stopped it just in time...as soon as she got out, i had to hold her hair back and there she went....:-\ god im gonna be such a good mommy :D i can help people not only with their problems, but with their sicknesses :-\ well yeah other than that, we got a bunch of mardi gras beads and i WON something!! i won this lil care bear thats sea green and hes called 'wish bear'.....whatever that means? lol...then i went into this lil tent where they make things and i asked this guy to make me a bracelet that says 'LULY' on it with butterflies next to it...omg its totally beautiful..he made it in like 2 min and it only cost 5 bucks :-P some of my friends did things to piss me off yesterday but i guess im okie with it now...it totally wasnt cool what they did but whatever, girls will be fucking girls...:-\ anyway, thats basically how yesterday went. well the sun is soooo bright right now and it looks really good to just soak...im gonna head outside....ill be back laterz :D toodles<3
satellite headlines read...someone's secrets have been stolen from a king...