OOC: Navagation + How's My Driving

Jul 14, 2021 14:27

Application

So, how am I doing? I'm fairly new to this muse and haven't gotten him completely figured out. I would love as much help as you possibly could give me.

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ooc, navigation, hmd

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anonymous October 25 2011, 01:37:13 UTC
I'm leaving this here because Princess Daisy (pluckapetal) does not have an HMD, and I'm assuming this is an oversight since Motochika does have one.

After looking over her most recent entry and some of her threads, I've noticed that you're playing Daisy as extremely abrasive, rude, and aggressive. In one thread that completely rubbed me the wrong way, she threatened to beat someone up (it may have been a Pokémon, I can't recall right now). Also, in her most recent entry, there has yet to be a comment from her that didn't end in an exclamation point, and she also went so far as to say "I'm not stupid!"

First of all, Daisy is a bit of a snob and is passive-aggressive. This much is canon, and we see it best in Mario Super Sluggers. She would never, though, just offer to beat someone up (Bowser excluded, naturally). You're playing her as extremely aggressive, and you're ignoring the fact that, while competitive, she's very supportive and a lot of her character revolves around teamwork (as most of her games are team games as well). You're also ignoring her original canon title, Super Mario Land. Daisy is still a Princess. She knows how to be polite, respectful, and nice. I rarely see this aspect in Daisy. You only play up her competitive side and lose all of the subtlety of her passive-aggressive nature.

As it stands now, it feels more like you're playing Daisy as fans interpret her, but there is clear canon evidence to the contrary of all of that. Yes, she's not a deep character, nor is she quiet and demure, but she also has spoken dialogue that is very much canon and you're playing her as if none of that exists. She also knows how to use periods, and doesn't always speak in exclamation points, something I notice you also struggle with. While it's true that she is loud, there are moments where periods would be more suitable, as you're giving her a tone she doesn't always carry. To quote her most recent post...

Popura Taneshima: What happened?! Are you okay?
Princess Daisy: Yeah! I'm fine! I don't like to bake!

The entire sentence comes across as loud and mean, whereas a more normal tone for her might be "Yeah! I'm fine, I just don't like to bake!" or "Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't like to bake!" The way you have her speaking is only correct when she's competing, and while she's angry, she's also not the kind of person to take her anger out on the nearest person. She's more of a "Angry, angry, oh, I'm okay after all" person.

That said, there are two other issues. Her hatred of men in Route and generalizing is extremely OOC for any Super Mario character unless it's canon for them, and for Daisy, it is not canon. As an "E for everyone" character, she would be more open and forgiving, or at the least being angry at one person consistently as opposed to generalizing. I also think the word "Stupid" is extremely out of place for her. Even saying that she isn't doesn't feel right, as Mario characters generally don't use that word to describe other characters. They do sometimes, I'm aware of this, I'm just not aware of how often Daisy uses it. If she uses it often, it could be problematic.

Now that everything's been said, though, you aren't playing Daisy wrong. You play her as overaggressive, but when you play her as competitive, the way you portray her works. Like I mentioned, she's not a particularly deep character, you just have to realize she has a lot of canon to cover and focus more on her friendlier aspects. As it stands now, you're playing her closer to Mario Kart Double Dash's "Hi! I'm Daisy!" that everyone knows and makes fun of as opposed to the actual character.

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usedbrine October 25 2011, 02:40:39 UTC
I will apologize in advance if this doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I got this notif as I was going to sleep

Oh yeah, it was completely an oversight. Part of it, at the beginning, was focusing on getting her main journal set up and then it kind of just slipped my mind.

I definitely agree with you on some points. I have played up the man hating part of her a little bit too much, and I'm working on toning that down quite a bit. I want to do it slowly so it's not just SUDDEN CHARACTER CHANGE. A lot of her hatred is focused on one person now with a bit of annoyed friendliness with others.

I'm going to be fully honest with you, I never got around to playing Super Sluggers, or quite a few of the other games, and that's why that part isn't included in the app, or her characterization. So if it seems like she's off, that would be why.

So, from there, I know I'm definitely missing something for sure. I do plan on getting around to playing it and then I can maybe fix up everything else. Her man hating felt very right at the time, and her excitement and exclamation marks feel right pretty much all of the time. But she, to me, seems like the excitable sort.

I do feel like I do play her friendlier aspects (like when she apologized to Yosuke by giving him a Pokemon, and how she tries her best to be friendly with everyone she meets), but I don't think I'm doing it enough and it might be time for another canon review.

I will do my best to work on everything that you've listed here. I want to thank you again for leaving me crit, I am going to work on it, and please come back to me in a month or two, if you don't mind, and give me an update. It will be the key to making her a better character.

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