Yearner Learner
So much has passed since I last wrote, it's been years and of course so much has happened. I'm no longer me and yet more me then I have ever been. I'm feeling so old and dusty, my spirit and mind are tired and broken from so many wars that I've fought....some I've won and others lost.
I call and who answers?
The light inside me is dull and fading and yet I still cling on to life in hope something will bloom inside me like it use to when I was younger and careless.
I've become obsessed with someone I know is unhealthy and toxic to me. They are like moonbane to me,like nicotine. They stain my lips,teeth and fingers a foul yellow and yet I can't stop tasting them, inhaling them, injecting them. Is it because I'm lonely and desperate for human contact? For 20 minutes of no intrusive thoughts and screaming? Laying on his hairy chest, penis inside my tired, used up body, tongues fighting each other for dominance I feel at peace and safe for the duration of that time but when he goes away I feel violated and uneasy. Why am I addicted to this person?
I'm a beast of the oceans, I dance in shadows and stalk the forest edges, never apart of things but never not invited. Self isolation. He's from concrete jungles, Glass buildings, higher learning, Gold coins and jewels bedazzle his being. I ate from bins and scavage what I have. We flow but we don't match.
I call and who answers?
I call and who answers?
The light inside me is dull and fading and yet I still cling on to life in hope something will bloom inside me like it use to when I was younger and careless.
I've become obsessed with someone I know is unhealthy and toxic to me. They are like moonbane to me,like nicotine. They stain my lips,teeth and fingers a foul yellow and yet I can't stop tasting them, inhaling them, injecting them. Is it because I'm lonely and desperate for human contact? For 20 minutes of no intrusive thoughts and screaming? Laying on his hairy chest, penis inside my tired, used up body, tongues fighting each other for dominance I feel at peace and safe for the duration of that time but when he goes away I feel violated and uneasy. Why am I addicted to this person?
I'm a beast of the oceans, I dance in shadows and stalk the forest edges, never apart of things but never not invited. Self isolation. He's from concrete jungles, Glass buildings, higher learning, Gold coins and jewels bedazzle his being. I ate from bins and scavage what I have. We flow but we don't match.
I call and who answers?