fic: five times finn needed a hug (and only a kurt hug would do)
Title: Five Times Finn Needed a Hug (And Only a Kurt Hug Would Do)
Author: veritty
Fandom: Glee
Characters/Pairing: Finn&Kurt friendship/pre-slash
Rating: G
Word Count: 2620
Disclaimer: Glee belongs to FOX.
Spoilers: All of season 1.
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin!
A/N: written for this prompt at glee_fluff_meme. This is a polished version. As always, thanks to allesodernichts for her ideas, help and general awesomeness. <3
Five Times Finn Needed a Hug (And Only a Kurt Hug Would Do)
1) the one that's about the baby
There's some sound coming from the door. Finn doesn't want to look up. "Go away," he tells the person in a raspy voice.
"Finn."
Damn, it's Kurt. Out of all people possible.
"I was just wondering if you needed a ride…" He closes the door and comes closer. "Oh my god. You definitely do. Finn, are you drunk? Never mind, I can see that."
Kurt sits down on the same step beside him, and Finn finally raises his eyes. He doesn't know what the other boy sees, but he looks… sad.
But not judging.
"She gave her away." Kurt stares at him, frowning. "Quinn."
"Oh."
"I know that nobody thinks about it anymore." Nobody remembers, but she was his. "I'm not supposed to think about it at all. But I've… I've overheard, and she gave Dri-- she gave Beth away." Finn looks away, because he has a hard time swallowing a lump in his throat. He won't cry. Especially in front of Kurt Hummel.
Except when he turns his head back, Kurt is still looking at him with sorrow and genuine compassion, and Finn remembers that it was Kurt he confided in back when the baby he loved was his, back when it first crashed.
He knows that Kurt remembers the same things.
I didn't get to see her.
He doesn't say that, he can't say it out loud, he's rambling instead, "And it's not like I hold any grudge against Puck and Quinn, it's all in the past, but I loved her so much and still do a little, and I never--"
"I know."
Finn stops, takes a deep breath. Kurt gently takes the bottle from his arms. And then there's this impulse, but Finn doesn't think clearly - he just pulls Kurt into a hug.
It's awkward - they are both sitting and though they are on good terms now, it's still far too early for hugging. Kurt doesn't try to get out, though. He carefully puts the bottle on the floor and pats Finn on the back.
Finn thinks that right now Kurt's the only one he wants to see.
2) the one that's about Rachel
Finn thought that things were supposed to be easy after you had said the magical three words.
He couldn't have been more wrong. They are on and off constantly, small things and big things combining in a list of reasons not to be together. Finn hates that imaginative list that won't stop creating itself in his head.
God, he hates his head.
"Hey, Finn? That's my ice-cream."
Finn doesn't look up - instead he stares at TV, not understanding a thing that's going on there. And eats another spoon of stracciatella. (Seriously, why does a simple chocolate chip ice-cream have to be named like that?)
"Thought you didn't eat ice-cream. Isn't it bad for you?"
"Don't talk with your mouth full-- and it's still mine." Finn can hear Kurt coming down the rest of the stairs. "See, it's labeled. And it's… reserved for my sad moods."
"Well, I'm in a sad mood." Finn replies gruntingly.
Kurt sighs.
"It's Rachel again, isn't it?"
Finn continues to stare at the screen. There is no answer, but Kurt sighs once more and sits on the couch near him.
"What is it this time?"
"Don't make it sound like that."
"Sorry. But really, I lost count."
There's some silence after that, more comforting than awkward.
"I wish we were more like Artie and Tina." That startles Kurt, who looks at him, frowning. "Well, you know, it's so easy with them. Simple. I wish we had something like that."
Kurt coughs. "I don't want to interrupt your dreamy admirations, but you know that's not true. It may be easier, but it's not easy." There's a small pause where Kurt stares intently at the screen, flaring before them. Finn thinks about asking if Kurt understands what's going on there. "Love never is."
"I thought it was. I mean, it's supposed to. Like, when it's really love, it's easy."
Kurt turns off the TV and shrugs (Finn can barely make out the movement). It's a touchy subject, but Finn finds Kurt a good listener.
"Listen. You know Rachel, right? We both do. It'll pass. Like, seriously, tomorrow morning she'll phone you and you'll be going out the same day."
Finn chuckles, smiling a little.
"See? No need for ice-cream. And seriously, buy your own, okay? Believe it or not, but I do have bad days. This ice-cream," he takes the can out of Finn's hands and puts it on the coffee table, "is a part of my getting better emergency plan."
"You can just ask me." Finn doesn't really know what possesses him to say this, but Kurt's a really good listener and Finn doesn't like to feel obligated.
Kurt's eyebrows rise a little, but he doesn't say anything. Finn feels a need to validate his point and draws Kurt into a hug. The latter lets out an undignified squeak, but hugs him back after a moment.
"Thank you," Finn says quietly.
When they part, Kurt offers him a small comforting smile, and his eyes are smiling too, although it's different in some strange way. If Finn was any good at reading other people’s eyes - especially in the dark - he would see something along the lines of "I would like to make you happy but it's not to be" there.
He isn't. It's all good.
3) the one that's about his dad
There was one day just near the winter break when Kurt got home late, his cheeks red from the cold, his scarf black. His eyes seemed… red, puffy but Finn couldn't be sure; Kurt barely nodded in acknowledgment while passing him by and immediately disappeared in the basement.
Finn couldn't go downstairs. He just… couldn't. He wanted to, but he was afraid to say something stupid and screw up their tentative friendship (and Finn was glad they were already there). Besides, Kurt looked like he didn't want anyone to come after him.
At the same time, though, he looked like he very much secretly wanted precisely that. Finn didn't want to think about it.
So he brushed it aside, and when he finally got to their shared room later that evening, Kurt was already… lying in his bed with his eyes closed. Finn was absolutely sure that he wasn't sleeping, though. And that he won't for a long time.
They both spent half the night lying in their beds, awake, not acknowledging each other.
Now, a few months later, Finn can't help but look back to that day, because he's lying on his bed in the completely dark basement, alone and bitter. But he's not hugging a pillow. He's not.
He wishes someone would come and comfort him very much, though. He can admit that.
Not to anyone else, of course; this is why when Kurt calls him for dinner, he doesn't answer. (It may as well be a way to attract Kurt's attention.)
"Finn?" now his voice seems closer, but still outside the room. A few moments later the door creaks and Finn sees a tiniest streak of light when he opens his eyes for a second, quickly snapping them shut again. "Are you here?"
Kurt doesn't completely open the door, and for that Finn is grateful. Instead he sneaks in, closes it and comes down the stairs. "Hey."
Finn stubbornly keeps his mouth shut.
Kurt sighs and the bed creaks under his weight slightly. "What is it?"
"Nothing."
Finn can feel Kurt's skeptical look. "Yeah, right."
They stay silent for a couple of minutes. He wants to say something, he really does, but he doesn't know where to start and whether it's a subject Kurt's fine with and he doesn't want to seem weak.
But then Finn remembers that it's Kurt, who understands and who is okay with him not being really strong.
He lets out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry," he says, finally.
"Finn, what--"
"I'm… I'm sorry, your Dad is really great and just fantastic, and everything is-- it's, it's great, absolutely, I just…"
Finn already got accustomed to the darkness, so he sees how Kurt's eyes widen, how he frowns and how he-- how he reaches out, and it's the first time for Kurt to initiate a hug between them. Finn is startled, confused, but the smaller boy begins to draw back, hastily, so he just has to hug him back.
Kurt lets out a tiny sigh.
Finn moves then, so that he would be sitting and not lying, which is not very comfortable. Kurt seems to get the wrong idea and starts to let go, but Finn keeps his arms around him, hugging tightly.
When he's finished rearranging himself, Kurt drops his head on Finn's shoulder.
You see, Burt is a really, really great dad. Finn envies Kurt so much, but lately he has started thinking that maybe it's not because of aforementioned dad's awesomeness, but rather because he is Kurt's Dad. Because no matter what, there's some hole inside of him that's never gonna be filled, that nothing in the world can fill.
But at least someone understands. Kurt's got it worse, Finn knows that. Kurt knew her, he loved and lost, and while for Finn it may seem a better deal, in the end it must hurt so much more.
"Did you go to the cemetery?"
"What?"
Finn surprised himself with that question, actually. But he won't back off.
"To the cemetery. You know, that day. In December. Was that it?"
Finn feels Kurt swallow. "Uh. Yes. Yes, that's it."
"I'm sorry I wasn’t there for you."
"It's not like it's your obligation. Really, you didn't have to. You still don't."
"But you're there for me."
Kurt stiffens in his arms. "Well, it's… it's my choice," he says, quietly, and lets out a joyless laugh.
Finn just hugs him tighter.
4) the one that's not about Rachel
"Finn? What are you doing here?" Kurt asks in a throaty voice.
"Um. Cooking?"
Kurt raises an eyebrow. "Seriously? No, don't answer that. I mean - what are you doing home? I thought you had a date."
"Uh, yeah. About that," Finn scratches his head. "I decided not to go."
"Really." Double-check. "When?"
"…An hour ago?"
"So that's what all this yelling was about?"
"I messed up your sleep? Oh, man, I'm sorry--"
"Don't be. I couldn't sleep anyway. But why? I thought you both wanted to go, it was planned in advance..."
"Well… you are sick," Finn says, like it explains everything. Kurt opens his mouth but before he can say anything, Finn adds, "And while our parents are away for the weekend, somebody's gotta take care of you, right? I mean, not like you can't, but… um, I thought I'd help."
Finn expects further interrogation, denying that he needs any help, maybe even Kurt softening; just not the expression that is currently resting on his not-really-stepbrother's face. It's like a mix between surprise and confusion. He isn't sure but for a moment Kurt looks a little bitter, too.
But it's over in a moment; Kurt's face brightens a little. He snorts.
"So this is what the yelling was about."
"Yeah. She… didn't like my decision very much."
"Ah."
"It's okay. She… she just…"
"She just doesn't like it when her plans get ruined." Finn raises his head, surprised. Kurt grins. "What? I know her. And, actually, the same goes for me. But then, who--" He stops mid-sentence and starts coughing, harder and harder. Finn hurries to his side and, not knowing what to do with himself, lays a comforting hand on Kurt's back.
"Thanks," Kurt says once the attack is over. Finn is pretty sure that he didn't do anything, but he nods.
They end up resting on a couch and watching a not-that-small selection of movies that appeal to both of them. It's nice; Finn doesn't eat ice-cream (because it's Kurt's), neither does Kurt (because he is sick), but they both enjoy pizza - even Kurt, who will never admit it.
Somehow, after a few action movies and even cartoons, they end up watching Supernatural (where Finn likes the mysterious and, well, supernatural stuff and Kurt, unsurprisingly, likes Jensen Ackles.)
There has just been another demon killed when Kurt coughs and Finn turns to him, worried, but it seems like it was really just a way to get his attention. "And yeah, about Rachel? It'll be okay. You know that, right?"
Finn just hugs him, wordlessly.
(There's one more hug when, not a long time after, it's Finn's turn to be sick.)
5) the one just for the sake of it
Finn is giddy.
"You were great," says Kurt, smiling. "Really great. You understand that, right?"
Finn doesn't think he does. Sure, he had quite a big solo in the song. Not even a duet - a solo. At Regionals. But before the show he felt nervous with every cell of his body, and during the performance he… well, he forgot everything and just sang.
And then they won.
It all seems a little hazy, a little unbelievable, unrealistic.
They are waiting for their bus to come; meanwhile, there's, like, a day of free hugs. Finn likes it that way, he likes how everyone just leaves their attitudes and masks and shells, how everyone laughs, smiles, bounces (it’s mostly Brittany, but he’s pretty sure he has seen Santana joining her - she’ll deny it later). There's nothing that defines them, except for who they are.
It's nice.
Finn already had hugs from, like, everybody. From some people even twice. Maybe more. But then Kurt comes towards him and is so sincere about being happy for Finn; not just happy about winning but that he was such a big part of it.
You were great.
Kurt is looking at him, and there's that adoration shining in his eyes, adoration that has never ever ended. It's too much, even for Finn who is quite used to everyone being a little in love with him, so he crushes the smaller boy with a hug. Just so he can't see his eyes.
It's natural, comfortable. They are so close and Kurt snuggles a little into him, but Finn couldn't care less.
He thinks so many things at once. He wants to tell Kurt that he - Kurt - should sing at Nationals because he's going to rock it, totally, and he thinks that maybe now he's just hugging Kurt because it's Kurt, not a person who understands things like his parents and Rachel or was there for him when it felt like his life was falling apart because of one unborn child.
He wonders what is the difference between a hug and an embrace. Kurt probably knows, but he is not going to ask him.
"You should totally sing at Nationals," he blurts out when they part. Kurt's eyes widen. Finn backs off. "Ah, well, you know, me there? Not a big deal. I was just getting the obstacles out of the way for you and your great spotlight moment," he says, laughing.
But Kurt isn't laughing, not really. He looks like he doesn't know whether to smile or cry, and Finn repeats his last words in his mind. He didn't say anything that bad, did he?
"Uh… thank you." There's some sort of weird tension hanging over them that's not entirely uncomfortable, and Finn takes the pause to think about the journey they've been on for a long time, that windy path they're taking.
He has no idea where it's headed, but he knows that he wants to keep going.
fin
Author: veritty
Fandom: Glee
Characters/Pairing: Finn&Kurt friendship/pre-slash
Rating: G
Word Count: 2620
Disclaimer: Glee belongs to FOX.
Spoilers: All of season 1.
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin!
A/N: written for this prompt at glee_fluff_meme. This is a polished version. As always, thanks to allesodernichts for her ideas, help and general awesomeness. <3
Five Times Finn Needed a Hug (And Only a Kurt Hug Would Do)
1) the one that's about the baby
There's some sound coming from the door. Finn doesn't want to look up. "Go away," he tells the person in a raspy voice.
"Finn."
Damn, it's Kurt. Out of all people possible.
"I was just wondering if you needed a ride…" He closes the door and comes closer. "Oh my god. You definitely do. Finn, are you drunk? Never mind, I can see that."
Kurt sits down on the same step beside him, and Finn finally raises his eyes. He doesn't know what the other boy sees, but he looks… sad.
But not judging.
"She gave her away." Kurt stares at him, frowning. "Quinn."
"Oh."
"I know that nobody thinks about it anymore." Nobody remembers, but she was his. "I'm not supposed to think about it at all. But I've… I've overheard, and she gave Dri-- she gave Beth away." Finn looks away, because he has a hard time swallowing a lump in his throat. He won't cry. Especially in front of Kurt Hummel.
Except when he turns his head back, Kurt is still looking at him with sorrow and genuine compassion, and Finn remembers that it was Kurt he confided in back when the baby he loved was his, back when it first crashed.
He knows that Kurt remembers the same things.
I didn't get to see her.
He doesn't say that, he can't say it out loud, he's rambling instead, "And it's not like I hold any grudge against Puck and Quinn, it's all in the past, but I loved her so much and still do a little, and I never--"
"I know."
Finn stops, takes a deep breath. Kurt gently takes the bottle from his arms. And then there's this impulse, but Finn doesn't think clearly - he just pulls Kurt into a hug.
It's awkward - they are both sitting and though they are on good terms now, it's still far too early for hugging. Kurt doesn't try to get out, though. He carefully puts the bottle on the floor and pats Finn on the back.
Finn thinks that right now Kurt's the only one he wants to see.
2) the one that's about Rachel
Finn thought that things were supposed to be easy after you had said the magical three words.
He couldn't have been more wrong. They are on and off constantly, small things and big things combining in a list of reasons not to be together. Finn hates that imaginative list that won't stop creating itself in his head.
God, he hates his head.
"Hey, Finn? That's my ice-cream."
Finn doesn't look up - instead he stares at TV, not understanding a thing that's going on there. And eats another spoon of stracciatella. (Seriously, why does a simple chocolate chip ice-cream have to be named like that?)
"Thought you didn't eat ice-cream. Isn't it bad for you?"
"Don't talk with your mouth full-- and it's still mine." Finn can hear Kurt coming down the rest of the stairs. "See, it's labeled. And it's… reserved for my sad moods."
"Well, I'm in a sad mood." Finn replies gruntingly.
Kurt sighs.
"It's Rachel again, isn't it?"
Finn continues to stare at the screen. There is no answer, but Kurt sighs once more and sits on the couch near him.
"What is it this time?"
"Don't make it sound like that."
"Sorry. But really, I lost count."
There's some silence after that, more comforting than awkward.
"I wish we were more like Artie and Tina." That startles Kurt, who looks at him, frowning. "Well, you know, it's so easy with them. Simple. I wish we had something like that."
Kurt coughs. "I don't want to interrupt your dreamy admirations, but you know that's not true. It may be easier, but it's not easy." There's a small pause where Kurt stares intently at the screen, flaring before them. Finn thinks about asking if Kurt understands what's going on there. "Love never is."
"I thought it was. I mean, it's supposed to. Like, when it's really love, it's easy."
Kurt turns off the TV and shrugs (Finn can barely make out the movement). It's a touchy subject, but Finn finds Kurt a good listener.
"Listen. You know Rachel, right? We both do. It'll pass. Like, seriously, tomorrow morning she'll phone you and you'll be going out the same day."
Finn chuckles, smiling a little.
"See? No need for ice-cream. And seriously, buy your own, okay? Believe it or not, but I do have bad days. This ice-cream," he takes the can out of Finn's hands and puts it on the coffee table, "is a part of my getting better emergency plan."
"You can just ask me." Finn doesn't really know what possesses him to say this, but Kurt's a really good listener and Finn doesn't like to feel obligated.
Kurt's eyebrows rise a little, but he doesn't say anything. Finn feels a need to validate his point and draws Kurt into a hug. The latter lets out an undignified squeak, but hugs him back after a moment.
"Thank you," Finn says quietly.
When they part, Kurt offers him a small comforting smile, and his eyes are smiling too, although it's different in some strange way. If Finn was any good at reading other people’s eyes - especially in the dark - he would see something along the lines of "I would like to make you happy but it's not to be" there.
He isn't. It's all good.
3) the one that's about his dad
There was one day just near the winter break when Kurt got home late, his cheeks red from the cold, his scarf black. His eyes seemed… red, puffy but Finn couldn't be sure; Kurt barely nodded in acknowledgment while passing him by and immediately disappeared in the basement.
Finn couldn't go downstairs. He just… couldn't. He wanted to, but he was afraid to say something stupid and screw up their tentative friendship (and Finn was glad they were already there). Besides, Kurt looked like he didn't want anyone to come after him.
At the same time, though, he looked like he very much secretly wanted precisely that. Finn didn't want to think about it.
So he brushed it aside, and when he finally got to their shared room later that evening, Kurt was already… lying in his bed with his eyes closed. Finn was absolutely sure that he wasn't sleeping, though. And that he won't for a long time.
They both spent half the night lying in their beds, awake, not acknowledging each other.
Now, a few months later, Finn can't help but look back to that day, because he's lying on his bed in the completely dark basement, alone and bitter. But he's not hugging a pillow. He's not.
He wishes someone would come and comfort him very much, though. He can admit that.
Not to anyone else, of course; this is why when Kurt calls him for dinner, he doesn't answer. (It may as well be a way to attract Kurt's attention.)
"Finn?" now his voice seems closer, but still outside the room. A few moments later the door creaks and Finn sees a tiniest streak of light when he opens his eyes for a second, quickly snapping them shut again. "Are you here?"
Kurt doesn't completely open the door, and for that Finn is grateful. Instead he sneaks in, closes it and comes down the stairs. "Hey."
Finn stubbornly keeps his mouth shut.
Kurt sighs and the bed creaks under his weight slightly. "What is it?"
"Nothing."
Finn can feel Kurt's skeptical look. "Yeah, right."
They stay silent for a couple of minutes. He wants to say something, he really does, but he doesn't know where to start and whether it's a subject Kurt's fine with and he doesn't want to seem weak.
But then Finn remembers that it's Kurt, who understands and who is okay with him not being really strong.
He lets out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry," he says, finally.
"Finn, what--"
"I'm… I'm sorry, your Dad is really great and just fantastic, and everything is-- it's, it's great, absolutely, I just…"
Finn already got accustomed to the darkness, so he sees how Kurt's eyes widen, how he frowns and how he-- how he reaches out, and it's the first time for Kurt to initiate a hug between them. Finn is startled, confused, but the smaller boy begins to draw back, hastily, so he just has to hug him back.
Kurt lets out a tiny sigh.
Finn moves then, so that he would be sitting and not lying, which is not very comfortable. Kurt seems to get the wrong idea and starts to let go, but Finn keeps his arms around him, hugging tightly.
When he's finished rearranging himself, Kurt drops his head on Finn's shoulder.
You see, Burt is a really, really great dad. Finn envies Kurt so much, but lately he has started thinking that maybe it's not because of aforementioned dad's awesomeness, but rather because he is Kurt's Dad. Because no matter what, there's some hole inside of him that's never gonna be filled, that nothing in the world can fill.
But at least someone understands. Kurt's got it worse, Finn knows that. Kurt knew her, he loved and lost, and while for Finn it may seem a better deal, in the end it must hurt so much more.
"Did you go to the cemetery?"
"What?"
Finn surprised himself with that question, actually. But he won't back off.
"To the cemetery. You know, that day. In December. Was that it?"
Finn feels Kurt swallow. "Uh. Yes. Yes, that's it."
"I'm sorry I wasn’t there for you."
"It's not like it's your obligation. Really, you didn't have to. You still don't."
"But you're there for me."
Kurt stiffens in his arms. "Well, it's… it's my choice," he says, quietly, and lets out a joyless laugh.
Finn just hugs him tighter.
4) the one that's not about Rachel
"Finn? What are you doing here?" Kurt asks in a throaty voice.
"Um. Cooking?"
Kurt raises an eyebrow. "Seriously? No, don't answer that. I mean - what are you doing home? I thought you had a date."
"Uh, yeah. About that," Finn scratches his head. "I decided not to go."
"Really." Double-check. "When?"
"…An hour ago?"
"So that's what all this yelling was about?"
"I messed up your sleep? Oh, man, I'm sorry--"
"Don't be. I couldn't sleep anyway. But why? I thought you both wanted to go, it was planned in advance..."
"Well… you are sick," Finn says, like it explains everything. Kurt opens his mouth but before he can say anything, Finn adds, "And while our parents are away for the weekend, somebody's gotta take care of you, right? I mean, not like you can't, but… um, I thought I'd help."
Finn expects further interrogation, denying that he needs any help, maybe even Kurt softening; just not the expression that is currently resting on his not-really-stepbrother's face. It's like a mix between surprise and confusion. He isn't sure but for a moment Kurt looks a little bitter, too.
But it's over in a moment; Kurt's face brightens a little. He snorts.
"So this is what the yelling was about."
"Yeah. She… didn't like my decision very much."
"Ah."
"It's okay. She… she just…"
"She just doesn't like it when her plans get ruined." Finn raises his head, surprised. Kurt grins. "What? I know her. And, actually, the same goes for me. But then, who--" He stops mid-sentence and starts coughing, harder and harder. Finn hurries to his side and, not knowing what to do with himself, lays a comforting hand on Kurt's back.
"Thanks," Kurt says once the attack is over. Finn is pretty sure that he didn't do anything, but he nods.
They end up resting on a couch and watching a not-that-small selection of movies that appeal to both of them. It's nice; Finn doesn't eat ice-cream (because it's Kurt's), neither does Kurt (because he is sick), but they both enjoy pizza - even Kurt, who will never admit it.
Somehow, after a few action movies and even cartoons, they end up watching Supernatural (where Finn likes the mysterious and, well, supernatural stuff and Kurt, unsurprisingly, likes Jensen Ackles.)
There has just been another demon killed when Kurt coughs and Finn turns to him, worried, but it seems like it was really just a way to get his attention. "And yeah, about Rachel? It'll be okay. You know that, right?"
Finn just hugs him, wordlessly.
(There's one more hug when, not a long time after, it's Finn's turn to be sick.)
5) the one just for the sake of it
Finn is giddy.
"You were great," says Kurt, smiling. "Really great. You understand that, right?"
Finn doesn't think he does. Sure, he had quite a big solo in the song. Not even a duet - a solo. At Regionals. But before the show he felt nervous with every cell of his body, and during the performance he… well, he forgot everything and just sang.
And then they won.
It all seems a little hazy, a little unbelievable, unrealistic.
They are waiting for their bus to come; meanwhile, there's, like, a day of free hugs. Finn likes it that way, he likes how everyone just leaves their attitudes and masks and shells, how everyone laughs, smiles, bounces (it’s mostly Brittany, but he’s pretty sure he has seen Santana joining her - she’ll deny it later). There's nothing that defines them, except for who they are.
It's nice.
Finn already had hugs from, like, everybody. From some people even twice. Maybe more. But then Kurt comes towards him and is so sincere about being happy for Finn; not just happy about winning but that he was such a big part of it.
You were great.
Kurt is looking at him, and there's that adoration shining in his eyes, adoration that has never ever ended. It's too much, even for Finn who is quite used to everyone being a little in love with him, so he crushes the smaller boy with a hug. Just so he can't see his eyes.
It's natural, comfortable. They are so close and Kurt snuggles a little into him, but Finn couldn't care less.
He thinks so many things at once. He wants to tell Kurt that he - Kurt - should sing at Nationals because he's going to rock it, totally, and he thinks that maybe now he's just hugging Kurt because it's Kurt, not a person who understands things like his parents and Rachel or was there for him when it felt like his life was falling apart because of one unborn child.
He wonders what is the difference between a hug and an embrace. Kurt probably knows, but he is not going to ask him.
"You should totally sing at Nationals," he blurts out when they part. Kurt's eyes widen. Finn backs off. "Ah, well, you know, me there? Not a big deal. I was just getting the obstacles out of the way for you and your great spotlight moment," he says, laughing.
But Kurt isn't laughing, not really. He looks like he doesn't know whether to smile or cry, and Finn repeats his last words in his mind. He didn't say anything that bad, did he?
"Uh… thank you." There's some sort of weird tension hanging over them that's not entirely uncomfortable, and Finn takes the pause to think about the journey they've been on for a long time, that windy path they're taking.
He has no idea where it's headed, but he knows that he wants to keep going.
fin