Well, I woke up today and the world was a restless place...
MASSIVE SPOILERS. Obviously. (also, it's the most tl;dr thing that ever killed a teal deer. you have been warned. seriously.)
There we have it. The first time I have experienced a Doctor's regeneration along with the rest of the world. The episode was downloaded on Friday on the computer, and even as I started it needing to know how it all ended, there was that terrified part of my mind screaming no. Don't do it, it's too soon, you're not ready for this. It still had to be done, but my anxiety was palpable; I shook like a leaf through the entire episode. Damn you, David Tennant. You have no right to do this to me, I don't even know you.
Except I do, really. Funny how that works.
A thought before I get into all of this madness:
Kelsey made the comment that this regeneration was so much harder for her than Nine's was because the time she had spent with Nine was so fleeting. This was partly due to the fact that she had watched Series 1 over the course of three consecutive days, of course. But part of me couldn't help thinking; thank god Christopher Eccleston only did one season. It gave all the new viewers (like myself and her) the experience of a regeneration without the entrenched relationship. We all adored Nine, but we hadn't had enough time with him to feel like we'd made a great journey by his side. We had learned about the Doctor, keyed into the character (again for some), loved him, yes, but we simply didn't require the preparation leading up to his demise because we hadn't spent several years watching that leather jacket disappear around corners and dive through doors to escape explosions and slip back into that police box like he had never been there in the first place. He was gone before we knew him completely. We wanted to know him, but were never given a full chance.
And then we were given this manic, chatty, bouncy, thrilled, skinny, squeaky, distractible, pinstripe-and-trainer-wearing, coat-flapping man child, who probably spent more time styling his hair each morning than a teenage girl. He was so much more than I think anyone expected. Saying he was "special" is the grossest understatement I can fathom. Even my father, a man who had watched Doctor Who as a child and never really clicked with the show, saw one episode with the Tenth Doctor and was instantly telling me that he was the best. Doctor. EVER. Hands down. That's right, my dad is a Tennant fanboy.
This journey went full circle. We've been through everything with him. Four years of joy, fear, mystery, heartbreak, wonder and a helluva lot of running. And now his time is up and we, poor powerless viewers, have to learn to give him up. We have to say goodbye. Maybe it's just the time in my life that Doctor Who suddenly entered on, but this felt so much more painful than I ever expected. A lot of denial on my part.
All the same, this final episode was nothing short of a lovingly wrapped gift. Fuck the nitpicks, it was perfect and its hearts (the both of them) were right there with us the whole time. It was exactly how I wanted to see everyone go out. But before I get into the weepy parts of this, let's get into the meat of the story a little--
TIMOTHY DALTON. IS RASSILON. OMG, HE'S RASSILON. NO SERIOUSLY, GUYS. TIMOTHY DALTON IS MOTHERFUCKING RASSILON.
Ahem. Sorry, had to get that out of my system.
Can I just say, it amazes how the Time Lords always manage to put their foot in it, no matter what their intentions? And this has been true from the classic series, I'm sorry. They just don't get it. "Gee, we're in the midst of the worst war our universe has ever seen. Let's bring back FUCKING RASSILON. I'm sure he'll know what to do. Our founding father has always had a record for clean behavior, amongst other things. He's not vindictive or power mad at all. He can totally save us." EPIC. FAIL. And so very like them. Part of me is almost amused by it. The part of me that's not crying on the inside.
I would be maybe a little sad that we got the Time Lords back for such a brief moment only to lose them again if I didn't now want them to BURN IN HELL FOREVER. Okay, that's not fair. But my visceral reaction to what they did to the Master happens to outweigh all logical thought, and I kind of think they can go have fun in that time-lock til the end of this Universe and the beginning of the next one. Fuck them all.
But more importantly, now we know. We know and we can see how things might have been different. At the beginning of the episode, that conversation between the Doctor and the Master. Oh god. "You could be beautiful." I think a knife just twisted somewhere deep in my insides. It wouldn't be so bad if you couldn't see how the Master wavers for even the briefest of moments under the temptation of the Doctor's offer. And those two little sentences in perfect juxtaposition: "I don't know what I'd be without that noise." "I wonder what I'd be without you." That's just it, isn't it? Them, in less than twenty words. All wrapped up in a bow. (On a completely different note, STOP FLIRTING, U GUYZ. Really, it's getting hard to say it's not canon at this point. You love each other too much. And by love, I mean... don't hate?)
Wilf. God love him. He is such a special man. And he got to be Luke Skywalker for a few minutes, which was just flipping adorable. But really, I'm having a hard time imagining how any of this epic could have been written without him at this point. He's so important to the movement and development of the overall story arc, of Ten, that I can't imagine this era going by without him. And his love for the Doctor is so very much the love that we feel. In a way, he bridges that gap better than any previous companion. I could go on about the dozens of moments all throughout the episode, but I think I'll leave it at saying that I was glad to get so much more of Wilf and the Doctor just talking. It was exactly what we needed to see.
Poor Master. He had no idea what he was in store for, and it's really not his fault. (No he never listens, Doctor - why are you surprised by it this time? XD) Now the Time Lords are back. For some reason, we all feel a bit nervous. And finally we get an explanation, the reasons behind the Doctor's actions in the Time War, and it is so much worse then anyone had assumed. Not just some doomsday button to prevent the War from spreading, he had to stop his own people from becoming monsters. Suddenly, the brooding anger that we saw so often from Nine makes so much more sense.
Aaaand all the while, the Master's trying to save his own arse. Not only is his side-switching every two seconds hilarious, but it's so intrinsically him. It's how he has survived the universe all these centuries, trying to figure out what he needs to do to come out on top. Wouldn't change him for the wide universe. I think my personal favorite was 'kill the Lord President and Gallifrey could be yours!' Oh, sweetie. XD Of course, with those bits of comedy come the real moments in between. "You never would, you coward." <---That right there instantly tops the list as one of my favorite moments in Doctor Who history. Because there are about five different meanings to that sentence, and seeing the Master so near to tears was wonderfully, painfully horrible. Also, someone please explain to me why the Doctor and the Master both looked so unbearably young in this episode. Watching them crumple every thirty seconds felt like increased torture when you added the fact that you suddenly felt like you were looking at crying, bloodied children.
I had completely forgotten that casting rumor that Claire Bloom would be playing the Doctor's mother. The way he looked at her made my heart stop for a breath, I think. Kels has an idea for a fic on that one. I desperately want her to write it. (And again, the smart people who voted against on Gallifrey? two Time Ladies. I am not surprised.)
I would be more upset about the fact that the Master has disappeared completely for the foreseeable future of this show were it not for the fact that he KICKED. RASSILON'S. ASS. Take that, Gallifrey. No, I'm not crying. I'm not. ...fuck me.
And then that slow shot coming around the Doctor, the chance that everything might be just fine, and then Russell has to go and be brilliant. Of course the knocking had nothing to do with any of this. Because that's the kind of writer RTD is; the epic bombastic smoke-and-mirrors act is to keep you watching, to shock and dazzle you. But it all comes down to the little things, moments and thoughts and people. And Ten's rant at finally being caught in the trap is perhaps the most heartbreaking minute in the show's history. I don't think I've ever wanted something to stop so much at the same time that I wanted to hang on every word.
We finally arrive at the Doctor's Reward. Which is the viewer's reward as well. It's a giant squee-fest. AAAAHHH MARTHA AND MICKEY. They are married. I am so irrationally happy about that, I could explode. For so many reasons, one being that it's still Smith and Jones. Precious. That one made me want to write fic; I was suddenly seized by the thought that the two of them had been stuck on the opposite sides of the same love triangle, and what a perfect introduction that would have been once they finally got a chance to speak to each other after Journey's End . The two people who were screwed by unrequited love get each other in the end, and adore each other to pieces as they travel the world fighting aliens and being amazing. I'm sold. Buy me a house over there.
Saving Luke from the car would seem so... traditional, were it not for the fact that RTD said on DW Confidential that he did that as a SJA in-joke; a "complaint" he had about the fact that the kids never look before crossing the street on the show. Which he thought was fine on other shows perhaps, but definitely not on a kid's show. That's hilarious. And then the whole thing is compounded by the fact that you can see that Sarah Jane knows when she looks at the Doctor. She understands this is the last she'll see of Ten. It's only right that she would.
Joan Redfern's granddaughter. That was just beautiful. Something relevant to Ten and only Ten, that he rightfully wants some closure on. Donna. I still can't get over how much I'm going to miss Donna. But she still got what she wanted, and you know what? She got everything she wanted. Even if she can't remember half of it, she is the woman who is really going to get every single thing she wanted out of life. And now she can do it as a wealthy woman. Hoo-rah, baby. Because the Doctor had to make sure that she got a wedding present from her father as well as him. If that doesn't make you cry, you don't have a heart.
And then we move on from there to a cantina ala Star Wars which is basically a giant meta-party, with everything the RTD Era created milling about and getting shitfaced. I love it. The Doctor does the only thing he can think to do for Jack; give him someone to make him happy after everything he's lost. And he happens to be Midshipman Frame. That's darling. Also, the Doctor's gaydar is fantastic for him to have figured that out about the boy in the few minutes he spent with him in 'Voyage of the Damned'. XD
We end where we began. After making sure the people he loves are happy and cared for, he makes one last stop purely for himself. And seeing Rose again at that point in her life, you get that jittery feeling in your stomach, like it's beginning all over. A lovely tag before the inevitable. Ten's final words are almost too fitting, for both him and everyone watching, but it again makes sense; Ten was born out of a moment of pure love and joy and happiness with himself. It's only logical that he wants to keep this life, maybe more than any Doctor before him. And that's why it hurts.
Aaaand something about that regeneration was not as planned (he waited too long to regenerate? he's hanging onto his life too tight? the radiation did it?), and the TARDIS is flipping EXPLODING. He broke the damned time rotor. Well, at least this will make the TARDIS remodel seem more reasonable within the storyline. And there's a new man standing there and suddenly the soundtrack has gone all rock'n'roll-vibe on us (can I say how sad I will be if Murray Gold is not still scoring the show next season? The man outdid himself in these last episodes. He's my hero) because he's back, damnit, and holy hell Eleven I already love you and I've only just met you. You're wonderful. Go out there and be fantastic. Brilliant. Whatever word you end up choosing.
For those of you who haven't seen it here's the new promo for Series 5. It looks incredible. Although I'm already amused by the number of people who are insisting that Matt Smith's version of the Doctor is going to be "darker" than Tennant's, sighting the fact that in this promo "he fires a gun and punches a man". Guys, you have no idea what he's firing at, and he looks more surprised to be punching that man than anyone else in the room. I'm not sure that really qualifies as "darker" yet. XD
All in all, I knew everything would be all right when Eleven ended that promo saying, "Trust me. I'm the Doctor." and Kelsey's out loud response was "Yes you are, baby." Followed by a smile.
It lives on, just like it always has. We'll be okay, provided that Series 5 doesn't come late. Still, I'll always miss my Doctor. I don't really think I ever understood that Who-fandom thing, that possessiveness over one Doctor in particular, until this episode. Not that any of the rest of them can't be "my Doctor" too. It's just different somehow. RTD, Tennant, the rest of you lot - I salute you. I adore you. I better see a lot more of you all, and soon.
Moffat, Smith, Wenger - what have you got for us? Bring it on. ~_^
There we have it. The first time I have experienced a Doctor's regeneration along with the rest of the world. The episode was downloaded on Friday on the computer, and even as I started it needing to know how it all ended, there was that terrified part of my mind screaming no. Don't do it, it's too soon, you're not ready for this. It still had to be done, but my anxiety was palpable; I shook like a leaf through the entire episode. Damn you, David Tennant. You have no right to do this to me, I don't even know you.
Except I do, really. Funny how that works.
A thought before I get into all of this madness:
Kelsey made the comment that this regeneration was so much harder for her than Nine's was because the time she had spent with Nine was so fleeting. This was partly due to the fact that she had watched Series 1 over the course of three consecutive days, of course. But part of me couldn't help thinking; thank god Christopher Eccleston only did one season. It gave all the new viewers (like myself and her) the experience of a regeneration without the entrenched relationship. We all adored Nine, but we hadn't had enough time with him to feel like we'd made a great journey by his side. We had learned about the Doctor, keyed into the character (again for some), loved him, yes, but we simply didn't require the preparation leading up to his demise because we hadn't spent several years watching that leather jacket disappear around corners and dive through doors to escape explosions and slip back into that police box like he had never been there in the first place. He was gone before we knew him completely. We wanted to know him, but were never given a full chance.
And then we were given this manic, chatty, bouncy, thrilled, skinny, squeaky, distractible, pinstripe-and-trainer-wearing, coat-flapping man child, who probably spent more time styling his hair each morning than a teenage girl. He was so much more than I think anyone expected. Saying he was "special" is the grossest understatement I can fathom. Even my father, a man who had watched Doctor Who as a child and never really clicked with the show, saw one episode with the Tenth Doctor and was instantly telling me that he was the best. Doctor. EVER. Hands down. That's right, my dad is a Tennant fanboy.
This journey went full circle. We've been through everything with him. Four years of joy, fear, mystery, heartbreak, wonder and a helluva lot of running. And now his time is up and we, poor powerless viewers, have to learn to give him up. We have to say goodbye. Maybe it's just the time in my life that Doctor Who suddenly entered on, but this felt so much more painful than I ever expected. A lot of denial on my part.
All the same, this final episode was nothing short of a lovingly wrapped gift. Fuck the nitpicks, it was perfect and its hearts (the both of them) were right there with us the whole time. It was exactly how I wanted to see everyone go out. But before I get into the weepy parts of this, let's get into the meat of the story a little--
TIMOTHY DALTON. IS RASSILON. OMG, HE'S RASSILON. NO SERIOUSLY, GUYS. TIMOTHY DALTON IS MOTHERFUCKING RASSILON.
Ahem. Sorry, had to get that out of my system.
Can I just say, it amazes how the Time Lords always manage to put their foot in it, no matter what their intentions? And this has been true from the classic series, I'm sorry. They just don't get it. "Gee, we're in the midst of the worst war our universe has ever seen. Let's bring back FUCKING RASSILON. I'm sure he'll know what to do. Our founding father has always had a record for clean behavior, amongst other things. He's not vindictive or power mad at all. He can totally save us." EPIC. FAIL. And so very like them. Part of me is almost amused by it. The part of me that's not crying on the inside.
I would be maybe a little sad that we got the Time Lords back for such a brief moment only to lose them again if I didn't now want them to BURN IN HELL FOREVER. Okay, that's not fair. But my visceral reaction to what they did to the Master happens to outweigh all logical thought, and I kind of think they can go have fun in that time-lock til the end of this Universe and the beginning of the next one. Fuck them all.
But more importantly, now we know. We know and we can see how things might have been different. At the beginning of the episode, that conversation between the Doctor and the Master. Oh god. "You could be beautiful." I think a knife just twisted somewhere deep in my insides. It wouldn't be so bad if you couldn't see how the Master wavers for even the briefest of moments under the temptation of the Doctor's offer. And those two little sentences in perfect juxtaposition: "I don't know what I'd be without that noise." "I wonder what I'd be without you." That's just it, isn't it? Them, in less than twenty words. All wrapped up in a bow. (On a completely different note, STOP FLIRTING, U GUYZ. Really, it's getting hard to say it's not canon at this point. You love each other too much. And by love, I mean... don't hate?)
Wilf. God love him. He is such a special man. And he got to be Luke Skywalker for a few minutes, which was just flipping adorable. But really, I'm having a hard time imagining how any of this epic could have been written without him at this point. He's so important to the movement and development of the overall story arc, of Ten, that I can't imagine this era going by without him. And his love for the Doctor is so very much the love that we feel. In a way, he bridges that gap better than any previous companion. I could go on about the dozens of moments all throughout the episode, but I think I'll leave it at saying that I was glad to get so much more of Wilf and the Doctor just talking. It was exactly what we needed to see.
Poor Master. He had no idea what he was in store for, and it's really not his fault. (No he never listens, Doctor - why are you surprised by it this time? XD) Now the Time Lords are back. For some reason, we all feel a bit nervous. And finally we get an explanation, the reasons behind the Doctor's actions in the Time War, and it is so much worse then anyone had assumed. Not just some doomsday button to prevent the War from spreading, he had to stop his own people from becoming monsters. Suddenly, the brooding anger that we saw so often from Nine makes so much more sense.
Aaaand all the while, the Master's trying to save his own arse. Not only is his side-switching every two seconds hilarious, but it's so intrinsically him. It's how he has survived the universe all these centuries, trying to figure out what he needs to do to come out on top. Wouldn't change him for the wide universe. I think my personal favorite was 'kill the Lord President and Gallifrey could be yours!' Oh, sweetie. XD Of course, with those bits of comedy come the real moments in between. "You never would, you coward." <---That right there instantly tops the list as one of my favorite moments in Doctor Who history. Because there are about five different meanings to that sentence, and seeing the Master so near to tears was wonderfully, painfully horrible. Also, someone please explain to me why the Doctor and the Master both looked so unbearably young in this episode. Watching them crumple every thirty seconds felt like increased torture when you added the fact that you suddenly felt like you were looking at crying, bloodied children.
I had completely forgotten that casting rumor that Claire Bloom would be playing the Doctor's mother. The way he looked at her made my heart stop for a breath, I think. Kels has an idea for a fic on that one. I desperately want her to write it. (And again, the smart people who voted against on Gallifrey? two Time Ladies. I am not surprised.)
I would be more upset about the fact that the Master has disappeared completely for the foreseeable future of this show were it not for the fact that he KICKED. RASSILON'S. ASS. Take that, Gallifrey. No, I'm not crying. I'm not. ...fuck me.
And then that slow shot coming around the Doctor, the chance that everything might be just fine, and then Russell has to go and be brilliant. Of course the knocking had nothing to do with any of this. Because that's the kind of writer RTD is; the epic bombastic smoke-and-mirrors act is to keep you watching, to shock and dazzle you. But it all comes down to the little things, moments and thoughts and people. And Ten's rant at finally being caught in the trap is perhaps the most heartbreaking minute in the show's history. I don't think I've ever wanted something to stop so much at the same time that I wanted to hang on every word.
We finally arrive at the Doctor's Reward. Which is the viewer's reward as well. It's a giant squee-fest. AAAAHHH MARTHA AND MICKEY. They are married. I am so irrationally happy about that, I could explode. For so many reasons, one being that it's still Smith and Jones. Precious. That one made me want to write fic; I was suddenly seized by the thought that the two of them had been stuck on the opposite sides of the same love triangle, and what a perfect introduction that would have been once they finally got a chance to speak to each other after Journey's End . The two people who were screwed by unrequited love get each other in the end, and adore each other to pieces as they travel the world fighting aliens and being amazing. I'm sold. Buy me a house over there.
Saving Luke from the car would seem so... traditional, were it not for the fact that RTD said on DW Confidential that he did that as a SJA in-joke; a "complaint" he had about the fact that the kids never look before crossing the street on the show. Which he thought was fine on other shows perhaps, but definitely not on a kid's show. That's hilarious. And then the whole thing is compounded by the fact that you can see that Sarah Jane knows when she looks at the Doctor. She understands this is the last she'll see of Ten. It's only right that she would.
Joan Redfern's granddaughter. That was just beautiful. Something relevant to Ten and only Ten, that he rightfully wants some closure on. Donna. I still can't get over how much I'm going to miss Donna. But she still got what she wanted, and you know what? She got everything she wanted. Even if she can't remember half of it, she is the woman who is really going to get every single thing she wanted out of life. And now she can do it as a wealthy woman. Hoo-rah, baby. Because the Doctor had to make sure that she got a wedding present from her father as well as him. If that doesn't make you cry, you don't have a heart.
And then we move on from there to a cantina ala Star Wars which is basically a giant meta-party, with everything the RTD Era created milling about and getting shitfaced. I love it. The Doctor does the only thing he can think to do for Jack; give him someone to make him happy after everything he's lost. And he happens to be Midshipman Frame. That's darling. Also, the Doctor's gaydar is fantastic for him to have figured that out about the boy in the few minutes he spent with him in 'Voyage of the Damned'. XD
We end where we began. After making sure the people he loves are happy and cared for, he makes one last stop purely for himself. And seeing Rose again at that point in her life, you get that jittery feeling in your stomach, like it's beginning all over. A lovely tag before the inevitable. Ten's final words are almost too fitting, for both him and everyone watching, but it again makes sense; Ten was born out of a moment of pure love and joy and happiness with himself. It's only logical that he wants to keep this life, maybe more than any Doctor before him. And that's why it hurts.
Aaaand something about that regeneration was not as planned (he waited too long to regenerate? he's hanging onto his life too tight? the radiation did it?), and the TARDIS is flipping EXPLODING. He broke the damned time rotor. Well, at least this will make the TARDIS remodel seem more reasonable within the storyline. And there's a new man standing there and suddenly the soundtrack has gone all rock'n'roll-vibe on us (can I say how sad I will be if Murray Gold is not still scoring the show next season? The man outdid himself in these last episodes. He's my hero) because he's back, damnit, and holy hell Eleven I already love you and I've only just met you. You're wonderful. Go out there and be fantastic. Brilliant. Whatever word you end up choosing.
For those of you who haven't seen it here's the new promo for Series 5. It looks incredible. Although I'm already amused by the number of people who are insisting that Matt Smith's version of the Doctor is going to be "darker" than Tennant's, sighting the fact that in this promo "he fires a gun and punches a man". Guys, you have no idea what he's firing at, and he looks more surprised to be punching that man than anyone else in the room. I'm not sure that really qualifies as "darker" yet. XD
All in all, I knew everything would be all right when Eleven ended that promo saying, "Trust me. I'm the Doctor." and Kelsey's out loud response was "Yes you are, baby." Followed by a smile.
It lives on, just like it always has. We'll be okay, provided that Series 5 doesn't come late. Still, I'll always miss my Doctor. I don't really think I ever understood that Who-fandom thing, that possessiveness over one Doctor in particular, until this episode. Not that any of the rest of them can't be "my Doctor" too. It's just different somehow. RTD, Tennant, the rest of you lot - I salute you. I adore you. I better see a lot more of you all, and soon.
Moffat, Smith, Wenger - what have you got for us? Bring it on. ~_^