Saving Life - Chapter Four
Part: 4/12 Author: Usagi-Atemu-Tom Warnings: angst, romance, suspense, angst, romance, suspense, slash, SPOILER for Transformers Movies 1+2 Pairings: Jazz/Prowl
Feedback: Please, yes, I love feedback! =^^=
Summary: When one mech is on the edge of being offlined forever, another mech realises the truth of his past and the destiny he is supposed to have. But what do you do, when you wake up from the brink of death just to stare into the eyes of what is supposed to be the enemy? If you happen to be an ops mech - you collect your answers of course.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine I don't make money with it and write only for fun and to get better in writing English. ^_^
Helpful Pointers:
Vorn - 83 years Stellar-cycle - 7.5 months Orn - 13 days Joor - 8 hours Breem - 6 minutes Astrosecond - 5/6ths of a second Klick - 1 millisecond
"..." - Speaking /.../ - Sparkbond speaking
Please note that I've only ever watched the two movies from 2007 and 2009. While I've 'met' a lot of Transformers from the comics and cartoons, that more often than not show up in fanfics I, of course, have not seen them in action and therefore might not be able to interpret their characters right. I am using mostly what I've learned through the movie (and maybe fanfics) and while catching some ideas here and there I am mainly using my very own ideas for things like energon, space bridges and so on.
And not to forget, much thanks to Taralynden for betareading.
Also, the inspiration for Prowl's and Jazz's past was mostly taken from the fanfic 'Story of a lifetime' written by the wonderful Taralynden. This was taken with her permission. Go and read her story, you'll love it.
Sharing and therefore reliving his own memories must have taken a lot out of Prowl, because when Jazz woke again from his next recharge he was surprised to find his bondmate still fully out of it. Since the saboteur's spark had become stronger and stronger, it was no longer necessary for them to merge their sparks constantly. Prowl had settled on connecting their sparks when he was awake. For recharge however he simply lay besides his bondmate and held him as close as he was able to with the still healing wounds.
Too bad Jazz had been offline too much to enjoy their recharge position. It was like the re-establishment of an old routine, if not for his slight body discomfort. Still, no matter the past and what his precious bondmate currently looked like, for Jazz to be back in the tactician's arms after so, so many vorns was simply bliss and he continued to lie there on the ground just basking in the feeling of his mate's arms and the hum of their bond.
However, reality had a bad habit of catching up on him when he did not want it to and all too soon Jazz's mind wandered over the memories he had witnessed through their bond. Cold, unrelenting fury surfaced inside his spark, even before he realised it.
How dare they? How could they do something as cruel as this even to an enemy? An Autobot, HIS bondmate. Never would he forget the cold, unfeeling demeanour of Shockwave nor how Starscream cared only for the safety of information. This had just become a matter beyond personal. The saboteur could not, would not deny the protectiveness he felt over Prowl.
They were going to be sorry, very, very dearly so. Jazz did not even realise he had worked himself into a state of uncontrolled rage, until he suddenly felt the warm, soothing waves of his bondmate calming down the storm.
/Whether you take your revenge or not we'll have to see/, the tactician told him through their spark-connection. /But in order to even stand a chance you first have to heal, Jazz./
Sighing he allowed his beloved to soothe his nerves and his body, which had tensed up, to relax against his mate's chassis. But with the absence of fury other feelings arrived. Guilt. Heavy guilt over the hurt he knew his bondmate must have suffered through, washed over him like a disease, leaving him depressed and helpless.
"Ah did not know what happened t' ya", he croaked out miserably. "Ah coulda gone lookin' for ya, Ah coulda helped ya out of it. Instead Ah flew aroun' with th' others, explorin' an' joking. Ah shoulda checked th' bond instead. Ah shoulda taken down that buffer t' see if anythin' was wrong. Ah might have noticed somethin' was off. Maybe Ah could've helped ya."
"You were hardly joking or playing around when you travelled through space, Jazz", Prowl objected forcefully, even though the saboteur knew that for his mate his new voice would forever sound strange and awkward. "You were focused on the mission, as I can clearly see by the glimpses through our bond. And that you did not take down your buffer to check was the only right and logical choice. You could not allow yourself to get distracted. Not on this mission, where everything depended on your speed and quick mind. It was not your fault, Jazz. Never your fault."
He stroked down over the smaller mech's faceplates in a soothing gesture. Jazz wanted to protest, to voice that it was indeed partly his fault. But he realised that it was just as much not his fault as it had not been Prowl's. The only culprits here were the Decepticons. It was their decision, their action and no one else's.
Whining softly in hurt and distress the saboteur allowed his sparkmate to cover his body and open their spark chambers for another strengthening sparkmerge. They both needed some time to calm down. And even though it hurt him to the pit and back Jazz could not help his ops nature and reviewed the memories Prowl had shared with him to analyse the data for anything useful.
After a long moment of silence Jazz finally onlined his visor and looked into the deep red optics his bondmate was currently forced to bear.
"There's one thing Ah don't understand though", he voiced his confusion aloud again. The saboteur had decided that it was important to get his vocaliser used to speaking again and the results of his exercise were obvious since the croaking and static were nearly gone.
"Th' way Ah understand what Shockwave an' Starscream said, th' virus they injected ya wit' were suppos'd t' completely destroy yer personality an' only leave information 'bout our faction as well as corrupted data intact. But when mah near-death pulled ya out of it, ya certainly were all yerself. Not that Ah'm not thankful an' ev'rythin' but it's kinda weird how ya pulled that stunt, Sparkles."
Prowl hummed in thoughtful agreement, before voicing his answer.
"I wondered about that as well after I was able to calm down from the recent events in Mission City", the tactician acceded. "And I think I figured it out. Though as logical as everything presents to me, I cannot put any proof behind it. Therefore it will simply stay a theory."
The warning was unnecessary since Jazz knew with or without proof, if Prowl's explanations made sense to him, then there was a chance of 99 percent that it was the right one.
"Spill it, mech!" he demanded.
"I remember just before I went offline back in Shockwave's lab that all my thoughts were centred on the desperate wish to save my personality and secrets. I must have unconsciously initiated the writing of a new program that took everything that was important to me and sent it down the bond where it could settle in a safe corner, undetected by the Decepticons or even yourself. It would be the only logical answer I can conclude with what happened.
Even to scientists sparkbonds are highly unexplored and mostly a mystery. We cannot play around with a bond and I am sure even Shockwave never gained much if he tried to pick around the function of a sparkbond. Therefore it made sense if neither he nor Starscream were unable to detect that, instead of being deleted, my personality files were redirected deep inside the bond for safekeeping."
"An' how did they get free again after ya tried it so many times mostly without positive results?" Jazz added curiously. Prowl was silent for a moment, his thoughts on the matter hesitant. Finally he came up with an answer.
"I suspect it was because our sparkbond was in danger of getting cut, when you went in to fight Megatron", he explained slowly, his body all but shuddering as he remembered how the big Decepticon leader had held the helpless body of his bondmate, who even during that time had acted bravely and still attacked the Decepticon with all he had. "The bond must have realised the danger for the personality files and my other memories if they stayed in a bond that was about to get severed. Therefore it simply sent the files back to where they belonged, while the virus itself got surprised by an attack from something it had registered as "destroyed"."
Jazz winced when he was reminded of his unpleasant fight with the Decepticon leader. It was not one of his best moments and he still hurt from the consequences of that action.
"Prowler", he whispered. "Ah knew that Ah reached th' end of mah lucky streak th' moment Megatron appeared on mah sensors. He was too near th' other's. Too near th' Allspark an' too near t' our only fully qualified medic. Our last mission, our whole fights lately had been about nothin' but keepin' th' Allspark away from Megatron an' Ah felt that if Ah abandoned that thought just t' protect our lives, Ah would've broken everythin' we've sworn t' do. Ah knew ya would've preferred t' join th' Well of Allsparks wit' meh than allow for hope t' be destroyed."
He sighed and looked his bondmate into his optics while Prowl could feel the love, the regret and the guilt sweeping down the link.
"But no matter what Ah told mahself an' how very much Ah KNEW it was what ya thought, Ah still could not help feelin' guilty for havin' t' end it there without a warnin'."
"But it did not end." Prowl pointed out softly and for a moment both fell silent. Then determination flared through their sparks.
"Let's stop this", the tactical officer decided. "After being allowed to see everything from your point of view my logic centre points out the conclusion that everything we did and decided for was what we thought would serve our cause best."
He stroked over Jazz's helm with one hand as he had done so often in the past orns, with or without his mate being conscious. Longing, happiness and devotion was shared within their sparks and Jazz could not help offlining his optics to revel in what Prowl offered him of his emotions.
/But we also have to acknowledge that things have changed, Jazz/, Prowl continued even softer than before with his real voice sounding over the bond. /I had to watch you nearly die. I just about lost you. And with the measures I had to take to save your life, our buffers fell and our bond is fully open now.
I know with my entire spark that I will no longer be able to put the sake of the Autobot cause over yours again, not in an overly drastic situation like the one we just had. However, I still believe in what we fight for and I also think that we could still be useful with our skills, even though Cybertron and the Allspark are lost./
Jazz eyes snapped online when he heard the last sentence and they glowed strongly in shock as he starred at his bondmate.
"What do ya mean 'Cybertron an' th' Allspark are lost'?" he croaked out, not quite willing to believe what he feared to hear next. Prowl's face, softened as much as it was possible with the Decepticon visage he was burdened with.
"When I shared my memories, I was mostly concentrating on my own fate and yours. So, what I forgot to show you is that just before I closed the door of our first hiding place, I saw that human boy that I can only remember under the pseudonym of 'Ladiesman217'..."
"Sam", Jazz instantly interrupted with a small smile, guessing quite well that Prowl was more disturbed by the illogicality of someone calling himself Ladiesman217 than the fact that he did not know the boy's real name. "His name's Sam Witwicky."
"Yes, Sam", Prowl continued, totally unfazed by the interruption, something he was well acquainted with coming from his bondmate. "I saw how the boy pushed the Allspark into the chest of Megatron, destroying both with the power overload they received. The Allspark is therefore destroyed, lost to us forever", the tactical officer added the last sentence quietly, carefully. Prowl was surprised when Jazz simply let out a small sigh of relief. Though he still looked sad about the news, it seemed it was not as bad as he had feared.
"Ah knew there was a chance for th' Allspark t' get destroyed", Jazz admitted. "When Optimus found out th' coordinates, we knew that it would come t' a confrontation wit' th' Decepticons and mostly Megatron himself. Optimus ordered us, if he would not be able t' destroy Megatron, we were supposed t' shove th' Allspark into his sparkchamber. So, when ya mentioned th' Allspark destroyed, Ah feared for th' worst for Optimus. Th' Allspark gone is devastatin', but Optimus lost wit' it while Megatron still alive, would have been worse."
He paused for a moment to allow Prowl for the information to sink in before he added.
"Ah dunno how th' boy found out about that plan, but good on him if he was able t' shove th' Allspark into Megatron. He saved a Prime's life wit' that action. An' it killed Megatron, Ah hope?"
The mech above him sighed, while he continued stroking his still injured mate soothingly with one hand, his other supporting his body so it would not crush the smaller Autobot special ops agent under him.
"Yes and no, Jazz."
When the saboteur started to frown at that question, Prowl hastened to continue.
"You were right to assume that shoving the Allspark into Megatron's sparkcase killed him while the cube was destroyed and Optimus stayed alive. The Decepticons must have scattered after their loss and the first three orns I stayed offline because of the strain of the procedure to keep your spark strong."
"But ya didn't stay offline as long as Ah did", Jazz pointed out, now with a bit of his old slyness seeping into his tone. "Ah know ya, Prowler, it doesn't fit well wit' ya t' not know th' current situation of anythin'. Ya need t' know for ya tactical planning."
The tactical officer nodded, unsurprised. After all, his sparkmate was the one mech that knew him best, knew nearly all of his secrets just as it was the other way around.
"After I returned online and when I was sure, that you were finally stable enough for my concentration to wander, I took note of our situation and wondered what happened after the battle. With my Autobot data returned to this body, and with the knowledge Barricade earned I found out that I was able to hack into both Decepticon and Autobot comm frequencies and listen to their talk. At least as long as it was around the orbit of Earth and not further. I have to admit I was surprised to learn that neither Decepticons nor Autobots changed their codes lately, which is a big security risk."
Jazz could not help but snicker, when he realised the meaning of Prowl's conclusion.
"If Red Alert's ever able t' join them, he'll throw a fit, that's for sure", the special ops agent pointed out in amusement.
"Yes, he certainly would", Prowl agreed dryly before letting out a big guest of air through his intakes, a clear sign that he wished to continue his tale.
"Anyway, I was able to listen to snippets of communication from the Autobots. What I learned is that Optimus sent out a call to our comrades, declaring this Earth our new hope. They also created a new team consisting of Autbotos and the humans from the military that went with you to Mission City that day. The diversion is called NEST and they started hunting down the Decepticons that have scattered all over Earth. For the first 42 orns there were mostly only reports about the workings of NEST. I was not able to receive any Decepticon communication."
"Which should've been considered a good thing if not for th' fact that it changed, ain't that right, Prowler?" Jazz interjected darkly, already fearing where this was going. Prowl nodded and continued with his story.
"The first messages I received were strangely worrying, but nothing major. They went on about a 'Fallen' returning. Then 3.5 stellar-cycles after the fight in Mission City things went out of control. First Soundwave arrived. Then a small splinter of the Allspark, the LAST leftover of our precious cube, was stolen right under the humans' nose. And if that was not bad enough, I then was able to interpret the notice of Megatron being revived, certainly with the help of the last Allspark splinter."
"Oh no", Jazz groaned out, but he stilled when he felt within his spark, that Prowl had not even told the worst. And what could be worse than a dead enemy brought back alive?
"Sparkles? What else happened?" he whispered, already dreading the answer.
"Optimus was killed", the tactical officer answered quietly. He knew it was no use nor logical to deflect the inevitable.
"Those were the darkest joors I could remember for a long, long time", he added as a confession. "I was here, with you, learning those horrible news and I wondered if my attempt to save your life might have been in vain. That we would be found and terminated. Then the Fallen arrived on Earth and the boy, Sam, was wanted by Decepticons and humans alike."
"Ah can't imagine why", Jazz interrupted again, dryly, humourlessly. He knew as well as Prowl that Megatron was vindictive and Sam had been able to take the Decepticon leader's life.
"It ends not as badly as it started, Jazz", Prowl reassured his mate. "I was able to gather one last message snippet. The boy had somehow found an old artefact called the 'Matrix of Leadership' and I am not sure yet what this has to do with anything, but it seems Optimus was somehow brought back to life. He killed the Fallen, though as far as I know Megatron was able to get away. And Sam, by now, is no longer wanted. The last thing I heard is of his return from Egypt to this country."
A bright blue visor looked up into red, equally glowing optics and the special ops agent allowed air to escape through his vents in a sign of relief.
"At least tha' means, Prime 's alive an' that's good. That Megatron however is, too, doesn't sit well wit' meh", Jazz added, sadness flowing through their sparkbond. "This means th' war is far from over an' continues right where it left off, doesn't it?"
"Sadly it does just that", Prowl agreed. "However, we have been shown, after such a long time, that Megatron is not invincible. And the last splinter has been used; it's gone. So they never again have the chance to reawaken anyone. If we succeed just one more time, to cause Megatron's fall, he will not get up ever again, not with the Allspark lost."
"Which still remains a depressin' fact altogether", Jazz sighed. "We lost th' Allspark, our hope for a future on Cybertron forever. An' did ya notice how long it took t' kill Megatron th' first time? Wha' makes ya believe tha' it will not take us just as much time of fightin' an' losing precious life before we succeed a second time."
"But we found new precious allies here on this planet", the tactician objected. They might be a young species still but as far as I can tell Optimus believes in them."
"He does", Jazz confirmed quietly. "Ah remember tha' we were reluctant t' not attack th' humans when they took Bumblebee, but Optimus said that he'd seen kindness an' courage. An' Ah admit that it's true. Ah watched how th' boy pushed away from his guards t' help Bumblebee, even though they just barely met."
"The humans are young, but they are full of surprises", Prowl added thoughtfully. "Megatron will not be able to predict their moves as well as he had with us. That gives us a precious advantage. If we play it right, we might win this war sooner rather than later. If nothing else his disgust of the organic race will cause him to underestimate their fighting strength."
He looked down at Jazz, their connected sparks flaring brightly when the tactician feed their bond with his hope and determination.
"Believe in us one last time, Jazz. We have come this far, we cannot give up just yet. Besides, before we even consider joining the war again, we need to get you stable enough that we can contact our comrades without any risk to our safety. It will take a lot of persuasion for them to believe that I am not really a Decepticon."
He hung his head in inner pain when he added in a whisper.
"Especially after all that Barricade has done to them."
Jazz immediately grabbed his bonded's hand and hold them in a harsh grip, forcing Prowl to look into the other's optics.
"They better believe mah words as th' truth it is or they'll be really sorry, Ah promise. Don't worry, Sparkles, we get that explainin' over an' done with."
Prowl nodded, feeling the determination and comfort his sparkmate sent him over their bond. Grateful for Jazz's action and words, he pressed their foreheads together for another intimate touch.
"You are right. We have to hope everything will turn out fine. And when they believe us Ratchet has to take a look at both of us. I am no medic, I could only do so much to keep you stable. Also, when you are well again I really would like to know if Ratchet would be able to take care of this awful Decepticon look I am forced to wear. The hands, the voice, they all remind me too much of the puppet I have been forced to become."
He stared at his hands, on the outside looking still calm to Jazz but both could feel on the inside the emotions of self-hate and disgust building up into a storm. The special ops agent acted immediately and sent a strong wave of reassurance and comfort back into Prowl's spark.
"This has never been yer doin' nor yer fault, Sparkles", he reassured in a strong voice. "An ops agent would not have been able t' withstand what ya did an' yer not even an ops agent in first place. Ya did so well, so much better than anyone would ever have done in yer position. So be proud an' never ashamed for yer successful break of th' shackles ya were forced t' wear!"
"But the truth is, it was only possible because of the bond", Prowl shook his head. "Without it, I would have been lost forever, no matter how strong or weak I am."
"That's only half true, love", Jazz pointed out thoughtfully. "It's true, that th' bond saved yer personality programming, but Ah'm also sure that th' bond had nothin' t' do with yer break from th' virus. That was yerself, yer stubborn processor taking back control."
Prowl wanted to interrupt but Jazz cut him off before he had a chance to utter a single word.
"No, Sparkles, let meh finish. Remember when ya showed meh how for a single moment ya were able t' interrupt th' fight between Barricade and Bumblebee? That'd nothing t' do wit' our bond. Yer mighta been thinkin' o'meh, but th' bond did nothin'. It was yer determination and stubbornness that after so many tries an' never really givin' up, succeeded in taking control, however short that moment was."
The Autobot tactician sighed but in the end gave up because he could not deny that Jazz was right. It was, after all, a logical conclusion, and Prowl had never been one to argue logic, not when he more or less lived for it. Jazz was certainly satisfied with his bonded's agreement.
"Good mech", he praised. "An' now that we have taken care of tha', do you think ya could get us somethin' like energon? Ah feel rather low on energy an' Ah know for a fact that ya do, too. Mah spark is strong enough, Ah'll be able t' survive without yer support for a few joors."
Checking his own energy level, Prowl had to agree that it was time to fuel up.
"There is a small service station just at the edge of town", the tactician told his bonded while disconnecting their merged sparks from each other. The first impression of losing one part of each other was quickly followed by the thought how thankful they would be when merging sparks would no longer be a duty to strengthen and save life and instead become once more the source for pleasure and comfort it was supposed to be.
"It's the middle of night, in the middle of the week", Prowl continued when the disconnection was completed and their spark cases had both been closed. "The streets should be empty and free of trouble. If nothing unforeseen comes up I should be back to you in less than half a joor."
Jazz nodded and with a small smile he stroke over his bondmate's faceplate before he allowed him to get off the self-made berth Prowl had constructed shortly after moving into their new temporary home.
"Don't worry, Sparkles, Ah won't run anywhere while yer gone", the saboteur joked lightly. "Just make sure ya bring lots o' fuel, because Ah'm quite hungry."
Prowl could not help but return the smile, Jazz sent him.
"I know, love. Try to recharge a bit while I am gone. I know you tend to get bored, hungry and suspended to the berth as you are. I will wake you when I return with the fuel."
Jazz nodded and tiredly lay down again. He moved his head to the direction of the barn's door though to watch his bondmate step into the night. His sensitive hearing detected the sound of a transformation and then the Saleen mustang that was Barricade's alt-mode, moved onto the silent road. He listened until the noise of Prowl's powerful engine was lost in the distance. Only then did Jazz offline his optics and allowed his tired body to initiate recharge. As it stood, he still had a long road of recovery ahead.
tbc...