Saving Life - Chapter Two
Title: Saving Life
Part: 2/12
Author: Usagi-Atemu-Tom
Warnings: angst, romance, suspense, slash, SPOILER for Transformers Movies 1+2
Pairings: Jazz/Prowl
Feedback: Please, yes, I love feedback! =^^=
Summary: When one mech is on the edge of being offlined forever, another mech realises the truth of his past and the destiny he is supposed to have. But what do you do, when you wake up from the brink of death just to stare into the eyes of what is supposed to be the enemy? If you happen to be an ops mech - you collect your answers of course.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine I don't make money with it and write only for fun and to get better in writing English. ^_^
Helpful Pointers:
Vorn - 83 years
Stellar-cycle - 7.5 months
Orn - 13 days
Joor - 8 hours
Breem - 6 minutes
Astrosecond - 5/6ths of a second
Klick - 1 millisecond
"..." - Speaking
/.../ - Sparkbond speaking
Please note that I've only ever watched the two movies from 2007 and 2009. While I've 'met' a lot of Transformers from the comics and cartoons, that more often than not show up in fanfics I, of course, have not seen them in action and therefore might not be able to interpret their characters right. I am using mostly what I've learned through the movie (and maybe fanfics) and while catching some ideas here and there I am mainly using my very own ideas for things like energon, space bridges and so on.
And not to forget, much thanks to Taralynden for betareading.
Also, the inspiration for Prowl's and Jazz's past was mostly taken from the fanfic 'Story of a lifetime' written by the wonderful Taralynden. This was taken with her permission. Go and read her story, you'll love it.
When Jazz came online again he felt a lot better than the last time. At least processor-wise. His body was still a mess and he could feel that everything would continue to react slowly, but his processor felt sharp and quick as it was supposed to. He was not disorientated this time. He remembered exactly what happened after he landed on Earth. He recalled the fight, his choices, his near-death and the reason why he was not dwelling reunited with his bondmate in the Well of Allsparks. And he clearly remembered he had questions.
Onlining his optics he was greeted with the now anticipated red optics and face of a Decepticon that never was one to begin with. They were in the same position as last time: Prowl's body covered his and their sparkcases were open, sparks joined in a deep merge.
Sadly, nothing about this merge was pleasurable as it would be under normal circumstances. This was not simply about intimacy, of sharing love and emotions. This was about strength and saving life. Their sparkmerge did not hurt, would never hurt. But it felt a bit like their first tries to produce a sparkling together back on Syrenex. There was no active sharing of emotions, of the passion of their love, nothing of heat and desire.
Deciding the whole situation was serious enough as it was, Jazz gave it a small try to lighten the mood at least a little bit.
"Heya there, Sparkles. Funny but finally Ah think Ah can imagine how ya might've felt that time we played around with mah sorcelling techniques," the ops mech croaked out, his vocalizer still not fully functioning yet.
Vorns and vorns of knowing Jazz, accompanied by the bond that reflected the intentions quite well, Prowl rewarded the attempt at humour with the smallest, saddest smile Jazz had ever seen on his bonded's faceplates. Sighing, Prowl shook his head like he had done so many times in the past in exasperation to the saboteur's mannerisms.
"Jazz!" he whispered, his voice rough and foreign in the other's audios. Their foreheads touched, just like they had the last time Jazz was awake and for some astroseconds he decided to forget where he was and under what conditions. Both mechs simply relished in the feel of their bond, their nearness to each other and their love.
Oh how had they missed this. Prowl felt like eternity had gone by, after Jazz's departure, even though only a vorn passed before his whole world had been turned blank. For Jazz it was even worse, because he had been conscious all those passing vorns right until the day Megatron had nearly ripped him into two. No discoveries of new worlds, strange life specimens and introductions into different cultures on their search for the Allspark had ever displaced the loneliness he felt with the separation from his bondmate.
Worse was that Jazz had to do his damnedest to hide any hints of a bond from his commanding Prime and the rest of his comrades. Bonding was an unspoken, forbidden act among the Autobots, because the death of one mate would cause the elimination of the other as well. It was a disadvantage during the war especially since bonded pairs required the cherishment of their union over everything else.
At the beginning bonded pairs had been sent off with the Neutrals, the one group of Cybertronians that refused to join either side of the war. The Autobots once even helped to build a sanctuary for the Neutrals to hide them from the Decepticons' wrath. Unfortunately they were found and a massacre took place that left Neutrals and Autobots deeply affected and drove a rift through their relationship that had yet to heal.
After the loss of contact with the Neutrals, no-one was sure what would happen if a bonded pair ever crossed paths with the Autobots. And Jazz and Prowl sure as the pit were not willing to find out first hand with themselves as the example.
Their case was different anyway. Bonded long before they obtained their positions as second and third in command, Prowl had found a way to buffer their bond from the very beginning. It was never able to erase their awareness of each other and the range to feel that had grown as they became the highest ranking officers after Prime and had a chance to stay and work together a lot.
However with the buffer in place they could not freely share their emotions nor communicate over the bond as normal pairs would have done. Both of them were mechs with exceptional gifts needed for the war. They were devoted to the cause and they had agreed and sworn that the war would come first and their relationship second. It was a hard price to pay, but it was a necessary sacrifice for a small hope that maybe, just maybe, they could help cause a miracle and end the war. An end that would initiate a normal life for everyone, and a happy life as a bonded couple for them.
With the buffer in place no one had ever noticed the difference. They had worked as effectively as ever and even though some of their decisions in the war caused heavy disagreements that carried over to their private relationship as well, they had managed. They had never been like ordinary bonded couples.
That didn't mean that a separation did not affect them. They just tended to cope with it better than others. Jazz and Prowl had been well known as sparkbonded, a description for a couple that would certainly be bonded, were it not for the war. Therefore it was of course okay for the saboteur to show a certain amount of sadness and desire for his missing sparkmate. He just had to be careful that no one saw how it affected his spark as much as his emotional centre.
Meister, as was his official ops name, the name he could remember bearing longest, though it was certainly not his original designation, could not remember a longer amount of time where he was forced to pull the mask of "Jazz" this tight.
But everything shattered now as they hold each other close. The buffer between them was long gone and at this instant as they had their first real taste of being so intimately aware of the other, they already knew in their sparks that they could never give it up again. It was exactly why they had never before dared to turn off the buffer at the same time, if ever, because they already suspected the outcome if temptation ever hit them.
Basking in the feeling of the other for a while longer, Jazz was the first one to remember the situation they were in and with a grimace he gripped his bonded closer to himself for comfort while sending his questions over the bond.
/Prowler, as much as Ah hate t' interrupt this time of our's, Ah need t' know what's goin' on. What happened t' ya an' do ya know what happened after Ah went offline in Mission City?/
He stopped for moment when another realisation hit his processor.
"An' as an afterthought, do ya know how long Ah was outa it? Ah think Ah kinda lost mah sense of time here", he added sheepishly aloud, his vocalizer crackling only once in the process. Which was an improvement, all things considered.
Prowl sent air through his vents in an act to calm down his nerves and cool his overheating body. He knew they could not hold off on the inevitable forever. They were far too professional for that. Besides, if war had taught them one thing it was that delaying did nothing but turn unpleasant situations even worse.
However, Jazz certainly would not blame him if he staked just a bit more by answering the last question first.
/The first time you were offline for about six stellar-cycles. I think that is about three whole rotations around this sun by the Earth. After your awakening you recharged for another one and a half orns. Not too long of a time, which leaves me to hope that you are getting better. At last soon you should be safe to survive all on your own spark again, Jazz./
The saboteur stayed silent for a moment, contemplating the answer he got to gather the whole meaning of his current situation.
/Ah've missed a lot happenin', didn' Ah?/ he wondered over their bond. Then he looked up at his bonded, who was captured in the guise of a Decepticon. Sadly, Jazz stroke over the other's faceplate with tender claws.
/Seems Ah've missed even more about yerself. Tell me, Sparkles, what happened?/
As if a dam had broken lose, emotions swept over the bond into Jazz's spark. Fear, anger, humiliation, failure and through it all an even greater amount of a wish for comfort, to feel Jazz and bask in his love. The saboteur could barely remember a time where Prowl had been this desperate for contact. And it seemed the tactician did not know where to begin with his tale at all.
Jazz however had a better solution. He realised that the story was beyond painful for his bonded. And while telling was supposed to help a great deal, there could be a better way to offer Prowl an outlet.
"Don' tell meh, Sparkles", he suggested softly. "Show meh what happened. Share yer memories wit' meh over th' bond."
Prowl immediately realised where his mate was going with this. Sharing his memories would mean sharing everything, including feelings over what happened. He would not be forced to bear his feelings alone. Jazz offered to split them, lighten the burden.
But in the tactician's opinion that meant he had to burden Jazz with feelings he was not supposed to carry. His reason to hesitate must have leaked through the bond, because the saboteur was quick to answer with his own reasoning over their bond.
/It's supposed t' be that way, Sparkles. T' share th' burden, that's how we should deal wit' it. Think about it. If it were th' other way around would ya not insist tha' Ah share mah burden wit' ya?/
There was nothing Prowl could say against this. He was a mech built on logic and of course it was only logical that he would to anything in his power help the one he loved, the one he shared part of his spark with, if he was in distress or danger.
He had stalled as long as he could. But now he knew he was out of time. Jazz needed to see what happened to understand the current situation, no matter the consequences.
Lowering himself even more onto the still-not-healed Autobot special ops agent, Prowl embraced his bondmate's body as tight as he could with the current wounds. The connection between their united sparks became even more intense, the ball of sparks flaring with light and energy.
/Hold me!/ The red opticed Autobot tactician simply pleaded.
/Always!/ Jazz answered fiercely, tightening his embrace, even though it hurt some of his still-healing wounds. 'Ah'll catch ya! Never doubt Ah've ever let go, Sparkles.'
He could feel Prowl nod against his shoulderplating. And then his spark was flooded with memories.
tbc...