To lose your mind, press 3 now.
When I was in high school learning C++ programming one of my first attempts was writing a mock automated phone system program that would never actually get you to a real person and would always eventually return you back to the beginning after a long, long, long string of falsely promising options. (An actual piece that I remember well: "To enter a death threat, please press 4" *presses* "If you want to threaten getting beaten by a large blunt instrument, press 1" *presses* "I'm sorry, but the death threat mailbox is currently full ... "
I thought it was FUNNY.
HOW WRONG I WAS.
I just finished getting off the phone with my health care provider because they never sent me my new insurance card and I wanted them to send a new one. I got routed back to the main menu 6 times in the course of an hour, 4 of those just from looping menu options. (I should also mention that halfway through all the button pressing I was asked "for English, press 1" which was a bit late to be asking.) The first time I finally spoke to a human, they "transferred" me right back to the main menu with its stupid 45 second long 'intro.' The second time I spoke to a human they told me, "Dial this number ###-###-####"... "But that's the number I dialed to reach YOU!" So eventually I opted for the sales department and told the guy, please, please tell me the SEKRIT code! And he did! "Press 1, then 2, then ignore for 3 cycles." THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT HE SAID! So then I finally got to a nice person, he said, "Sure we can send a new one out to you right away." ".......... that's it? That's all?! ajweujisiodfjoisjfposdodru!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!111!!!"
The end.
I thought it was FUNNY.
HOW WRONG I WAS.
I just finished getting off the phone with my health care provider because they never sent me my new insurance card and I wanted them to send a new one. I got routed back to the main menu 6 times in the course of an hour, 4 of those just from looping menu options. (I should also mention that halfway through all the button pressing I was asked "for English, press 1" which was a bit late to be asking.) The first time I finally spoke to a human, they "transferred" me right back to the main menu with its stupid 45 second long 'intro.' The second time I spoke to a human they told me, "Dial this number ###-###-####"... "But that's the number I dialed to reach YOU!" So eventually I opted for the sales department and told the guy, please, please tell me the SEKRIT code! And he did! "Press 1, then 2, then ignore for 3 cycles." THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT HE SAID! So then I finally got to a nice person, he said, "Sure we can send a new one out to you right away." ".......... that's it? That's all?! ajweujisiodfjoisjfposdodru!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!111!!!"
The end.