Damn it Mike, Relax!

[urtapedover]

I  have been so dumb lately. Ive been so worried about everything which is causing issues with several aspects in my life.  I am generally very level headed and stable. I worry from time to time but can fix it and rationalize the issue at hand. I am pushing away someone I really dont want to push away. So I am going to keep my promise and relax. I am going to enjoy the time I get and hopefully repair what I have started to damage.  I know she is being patient and understanding with me right now. She knows or feels she knows that this is not really who I am as a whole. We all go through periods of weakness or stress.  I cannot believe I allowed myself to do this to her and what we have started to build. I really care for what we have and cant understand why I would do anything to harm that.  No wonder she has been distant at times. She is being pushed away because I cant relax.  I am better than this and I will prove that. I am so disappointed in myself for doing this to her and myself.

I am going to let things relax as a whole. See her when we can and just take it a day at a time once again.