It Warms A Paladin's Heart...

[ursulav]

Today, as we faced the Lawful Evil lich trying to get us to recover his stolen phylactery, the lich (Percival) asked the fatal question "What do they TEACH you in paladin school?!"

Rooster didn't even get to open his mouth. The entire party jumped in.

"Not to trust orphans!"
"To burn things and sow them with salt!"
"Hand out pamphlets!"
"...something

Comments

[archangelbeth]

But... what if the lich demands that you go thirty miles from the city and restore its phylactery then?

I think you may need some laws about returning phylacteries only if there is a written contract for how the lich will behave afterwards. You could probably go with the Evil Overlord rules and cross out all the ones about killing the hero and the hero's girlfriend, and keep the ones about treating your minions with reasonable care.

[tuftears]

Are we overlooking the possibility the lich may be INFLUENCING the lawmakers here? -_-

I could foresee a 'Return lost property to its owners or be faced with charges for accessory to theft' law getting passed.

[rebelsheart]

Oh he is. He came up as a significant landowner.

Did I mention we're in the capital?

[tuftears]

I'd be worried at that point. >_> I mean, even if the party goes through with getting the phylactery, they'd be lucky if the lich simply finessed the situation so they didn't get a reward...

[archangelbeth]

And with lawyers around, it's probably hard to get any laws against being Evil. Laws against practicing Evil upon others without notarized consent?

[archangelbeth]

(Noting that even the best lawyers are a little bit Evil. In a Good way. Lawyer-snark is just about the best snark ever.)

[tuftears]

"Say! I was a little rushed, but I need to check before I give you your reward, are you all duly licensed Adventurers in good standing with the city? No? Oh dear. That could complicate things a bit. For you. If you happened to have killed anyone or anything while on your little excursion."