(no subject)
hmm. haven't updated in like, ever. i don't really go on the computer anymore.
anyways, i've come to several realizations lately.
-people are so emo.
-people need to let go.
-people need to stop being so overdramatic/emo for attention.
-people need to stop trying so hard to be cool.
that's just other people. not my problem.
here's mine:
so. my two best friends, sam & kelsey.
they're always like "oh you're so pretty. ohmahgawd you're the skinny one." etc.
and other people have also told me this.
so now, explain this situation:
why don't i have a boyfriend?
why don't i have a kabillion friends?
why don't i have a packed social schedule?
am i that much of a bitch//whore//annoying//standoffish//stuckup//selfish//wierd//anythingelse?
and now, since i'm the "pretty one//skinny one",
i'm slowly getting kicked out of everything with sam & kelsey.
example:
we go dancing @ Q's nightclub often and we all dance together,
and a couple times, they've kicked me out, of our little dancing group,
telling me that i "get all the guys, 'cause i'm so pretty//skinny".
well, if that's true, WHERE ARE THEY!?
am i blind, not seeing all these guys throwing themselves at me or something?
no. that's because it's NOT true.
and what explanation do i have for it,
other than that i must have the most horrible personality ever?
my dad thinks i'm very negative and someone else thinks i might have low self-esteem..
hmm, that's odd 'cause i've had people tell me that i'm
"one of the most positive people they've ever met".
apparently, someone is lying.
and the low self-esteem thing..
how can someone with low self-esteem wake up most mornings and
be happy with what they see in the mirror?
how can someone with low self-esteem not have a boyfriend and
be perfectly fine with that?
isn't it usually that they hate what they look like and
think their life is "incomplete" or whatever without a significant other?
someone told me i was intimidating.
yeahokay. not.
someone else told me i was standoffish.
is that it? am i just very unsociable or something?
will someone please clue me in?