everything gets better w/ communication. . . .
Like I said, I wanna be able to look back on that entry a week from now and laugh. I still can't really laugh about it, because most of it is still true. But I have gotten to talk to Shaun, and that helped A LOT. I guess I just get weird...because I was starting to feel detached, or kinda like we were becoming strangers? i don't really know how to put it, it just scared me, so i started to worry. but that's my biggest weakness...worrying. i get it from my dad. definitely. so i'm pretty sure things are ok w/ shaun right now. they're not perfect or great, but they'll get back up there soon. he just really needs a little time to get things 'back on track' or whatever you wanna call it. ya know, i don't even know why on earth i write in this thing half the time. i mean, it's really great for me, because i always need to vent about things. and writing does that for me. but why would i write stuff like this for everyone else to read it? haha whatever....i guess because sometimes it helps to share things w/ people, so you can kinda get their insight on things? hmm...even though i think there's really only been about, 3 or 4 people, other than myself, that have actually read it? that doesn't bother me though...heh =) but yah...anyways. . .
i picked up an application for CU Boulder today. I'm gonna apply there. and i'm gonna apply to SDSU...i'm gonna do that online though. I already have my application for UCCS, it's almost done. and i'm gonna AT LEAST apply to Westmont....because i wanna go there more than anything. i finally emailed Clark (the guy that spoke about Westmont) tonight. it made me feel a good deal better. i don't really think there is any other place i wanna apply to. . . .i'm just putting in apps where i know i would like to go. plus, you always have to have your saftey schools and everything. those are the only 4 i'm sure about right now. if anything else comes up soon, i'll probably look into that too. but for now, i think i'm good w/ just those 4. i just wanna get this whole application thing over w/. it's so tedious. bleh. and i still have to register for SAT's. i haven't taken them yet. i don't actually HAVE to, but i'm going to, since they're so different from the ACT's....you never know which one you'll do better on? I only got like, a 24 on the ACT....which is 2 points above average, but that's not nearly good enough...so we'll see i guess? once this crap is all over, i'll be a much happier girl. heh =)
i really think things are gonna be ok though. i've been thinking sooo much lately, seeing as how that's all i really can do. nothing else to do i guess? haha but i know in my heart that everything is going to work out. . .i can just feel it.
and i know everything is going to be ok w/ shaun. i know he loves me. and i love him w/ all my heart. and we're both willing to wait for eachother. i know he'd do anything for me....and i'd do anything for him, so this is definitely going to work. i love him more than i ever have, or ever will love anyone in my life. all this thinking lately has just made me pretty positive i think. . .he's the most amazing person i know. the perfect package, all wrapped up into one single soul. i am so blessed to have someone love me so much. i never thought i'd even find love, and it hit me smack in the face, right when i wasn't expecting it. but it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. words can't even describe how i feel about him....i think the only person in the world that understands how i feel is shaun himself. . . .i've never connected so well w/ someone before either. i wish everyone could find love the way i have. . . .it really is the best feeling in the world. but knowing that he loves me THAT much gets me through my days. . . .every day. even when we're having a tough time. i know that no matter what, he's ALWAYS going to love me, and nothing can change that, so i have nothing to worry about. and i hope he knows i feel the exact same way. NOTHING could ever change my love for him. but anyways. . . after all this rambling. . . .i just know that i'm going to be w/ him forever. and that makes me happy. i know i'll die a happy girl. just because he loves me. =)
well, after all that rambling. . . . . i think i'm gonna go try to fall asleep. . .agian. =\ i hate this whole insomnia thing. hmph.
i picked up an application for CU Boulder today. I'm gonna apply there. and i'm gonna apply to SDSU...i'm gonna do that online though. I already have my application for UCCS, it's almost done. and i'm gonna AT LEAST apply to Westmont....because i wanna go there more than anything. i finally emailed Clark (the guy that spoke about Westmont) tonight. it made me feel a good deal better. i don't really think there is any other place i wanna apply to. . . .i'm just putting in apps where i know i would like to go. plus, you always have to have your saftey schools and everything. those are the only 4 i'm sure about right now. if anything else comes up soon, i'll probably look into that too. but for now, i think i'm good w/ just those 4. i just wanna get this whole application thing over w/. it's so tedious. bleh. and i still have to register for SAT's. i haven't taken them yet. i don't actually HAVE to, but i'm going to, since they're so different from the ACT's....you never know which one you'll do better on? I only got like, a 24 on the ACT....which is 2 points above average, but that's not nearly good enough...so we'll see i guess? once this crap is all over, i'll be a much happier girl. heh =)
i really think things are gonna be ok though. i've been thinking sooo much lately, seeing as how that's all i really can do. nothing else to do i guess? haha but i know in my heart that everything is going to work out. . .i can just feel it.
and i know everything is going to be ok w/ shaun. i know he loves me. and i love him w/ all my heart. and we're both willing to wait for eachother. i know he'd do anything for me....and i'd do anything for him, so this is definitely going to work. i love him more than i ever have, or ever will love anyone in my life. all this thinking lately has just made me pretty positive i think. . .he's the most amazing person i know. the perfect package, all wrapped up into one single soul. i am so blessed to have someone love me so much. i never thought i'd even find love, and it hit me smack in the face, right when i wasn't expecting it. but it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. words can't even describe how i feel about him....i think the only person in the world that understands how i feel is shaun himself. . . .i've never connected so well w/ someone before either. i wish everyone could find love the way i have. . . .it really is the best feeling in the world. but knowing that he loves me THAT much gets me through my days. . . .every day. even when we're having a tough time. i know that no matter what, he's ALWAYS going to love me, and nothing can change that, so i have nothing to worry about. and i hope he knows i feel the exact same way. NOTHING could ever change my love for him. but anyways. . . after all this rambling. . . .i just know that i'm going to be w/ him forever. and that makes me happy. i know i'll die a happy girl. just because he loves me. =)
well, after all that rambling. . . . . i think i'm gonna go try to fall asleep. . .agian. =\ i hate this whole insomnia thing. hmph.