...contradictions...
after this you will understand that... my life is in balance. one night i am alright, happy and proud. the next i am sad, lonely and frustrated.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sorry... was i wrong to be excited about something i want to do? how can i chose you over something i have wanted to do?
i apologise but part of me wants to go and do what i want. but the other part i also want to stay.. it is something i want to do... however... it is not as easy...
clouded with confusion and sadness. what happened... i must have slipped in my sleep and knocked my head or something... must have shoved a stake in this already concrete cold heart. why do i feel so..
i know why... i know very well why... i knew it wasnt going to be good all along... i knew... why did i still tell him?? i knew he'd be pissed. i dont understand... maybe i do..
my ending decision? i aint gonna do what i wanted to have done years back... i cant live the past... yet there is an oppertunity right here. i wish i could alternate.. change when i feel like it. negotiation... may pay off... i really hope there will be some sort. i doubt it... but ...
clouded with despair and horrid... how do i still smile and laugh when all i want to do is lay in bed? i have no heart to do work... i have no thought in others... i am only one... if only i were two or three.. i would be able to statisfy myself as well as others... i wish to have alone time as well as be there for family.. and also my friends...
what is happening... its all too quick... too quick... breathe.... breathe....
no use....
sleep and a new day shall cure a heavy head. a wounded heart, and a blurry vision...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sorry... was i wrong to be excited about something i want to do? how can i chose you over something i have wanted to do?
i apologise but part of me wants to go and do what i want. but the other part i also want to stay.. it is something i want to do... however... it is not as easy...
clouded with confusion and sadness. what happened... i must have slipped in my sleep and knocked my head or something... must have shoved a stake in this already concrete cold heart. why do i feel so..
i know why... i know very well why... i knew it wasnt going to be good all along... i knew... why did i still tell him?? i knew he'd be pissed. i dont understand... maybe i do..
my ending decision? i aint gonna do what i wanted to have done years back... i cant live the past... yet there is an oppertunity right here. i wish i could alternate.. change when i feel like it. negotiation... may pay off... i really hope there will be some sort. i doubt it... but ...
clouded with despair and horrid... how do i still smile and laugh when all i want to do is lay in bed? i have no heart to do work... i have no thought in others... i am only one... if only i were two or three.. i would be able to statisfy myself as well as others... i wish to have alone time as well as be there for family.. and also my friends...
what is happening... its all too quick... too quick... breathe.... breathe....
no use....
sleep and a new day shall cure a heavy head. a wounded heart, and a blurry vision...