Worse fight ever*! ehhh
Hey, Last nite was bad.. eh.. i cried myself to sleep at about 3am. me n taylor fought.. i came home from work a lil upset cuz everyday it seems like someone has to tell me not to be with taylor or ask me why im with him and why im living with him well yesterday i had 3 guys ask me n preach why i shouldnt be with him. so i came home and (yes it was my fault) i blamed him and bitched him out saying i was tired of people telling me to leave you and like he said ITS NOT HIS FAULT he was like "what u want me to do? i did fuck up in my past i cant go back and change it, i didnt no i was going to get with you and be serious with you i didnt no you existed when i was like that" and hes right theres nothing he can do and i always bitch at him about it. so last nite he got out of my bed cuz i dont think before i talk and i said "ur driving me crazy taylor" and he got up and slept on the couch and i cried myself to sleep. i had this cry building up in my chest for soo long,, just about everything. i dont want this relationship to end like mine n jacobs did. and thats why i cried cuz im scared, cuz i was confused and cuz i was asking myself why in the world am i blaming him now? he isnt doing anything wrong... So today im actually gunna go hang out with ash after school and have some time away from that apartment and then ill come home when i feel like having this sorry talk with him. hes right tho i always try to put him thru a guilt trip for wha he did in the past theres nuttin he can do about it now. and he got mad at me cuz he said would u ever marry me? and i said nooo but i was joking, cuz i would marry that kid in a heartbeat if we were older.. xoxo i love him* ;) and another thing is im stressing cuz im working my ass off to pay rent off cuz this month was gunna be hard since we moved 2weeks ago and i only had 2 weeks to come up with rent money and then i gotta do better at school. and save money for insurance, and my cell phone bill.. i was happy i got major props last nite by rosie's guy friend cuz im still in high school, paying rent,paying bills, n working i felt good. lol a lot of ppl are like "ur so independent" i am.. i hate depending on someone.. ;) xoxo hopefully today will go better.....
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