When it rains, it pours
I feel like I'm just ramming my head into a wall over and over and over again. My life just goes around in circles. I don't know if this is what manic depression is, but it really feels like it. Though I'm certain manic depression cycles last for longer than a couple hours. I am so tired of feeling like I'm on top of the world one minute only to take a tumble the next.
So, I walked into work feeling bright and cheery today. That was shot within an hour. The company owner asked David and Cathy to sit and have a talk with me about my recruiting. They both knew that there was no reason to talk to me about recruiting, but they had to do it. So they did. I felt humiliated and fairly worthless afterwards. I try to please everyone in a workplace, but the company owner is impossible to please. So that combined with everything that's going on with Chester put me into a very bad mood. Despite that I managed to get a bunch done at work.
Left and walked home with Holly, as she was in the area at the time. Worked myself into quite a state of fury on the walk home. Got home and called my mom on my cell phone to talk to her. The house phone rings and Holly answers it. She looks confused at this time. Asks who it is and tells the caller that I'm talking with my mom. They hang up. She tells me that it was the company owner. I *69 the number after letting my mom go and talk with him. It was a productive conversation. Apparantly he called the office and talked with Cathy after I left for the night. She told him that I was a bit upset and moreso, confused about the accusations. He asked her if she thought that calling me a talking to me would be a good idea. She told him that he could do that or wait for me to e-mail him in the morning about it. She gave him the number. I really do feel better after the conversation. He told me that he knows that it's hard to get people to stop for you on a weeknight and he just wants me to not get discouraged. He also commended me for doing everything that I do when I'm going to school full time and working nearly full time too. That made me feel worlds better. I told him that if there is ever a problem with my recruiting or anything for that matter, that he should not hesitate to talk to me directly. He was worried that talking to me directly would offend me. Got off the phone with him and called my mom back to tell her what happened. Got off the phone with her and the house phone rings again. It's Cathy, calling to see how things went with the company owner. She's such a sweetheart, she was really worried. Apparantly he felt badly because he thought that I thought that he really disliked me as a person.
So now I'm nearing the top of the world again. The storm tonight has passed. I'm cheery, not as much as I was earlier today, but more cheerful nonetheless. I'm still upset about Chester, but I know that we're doing the best thing for him and that he won't be suffering anymore. I'm sure I'll be down again tomorrow when mom calls me after they go to the vet. I know I'll be down. But I understand now that I know what to expect, so I should be fine.
So, I walked into work feeling bright and cheery today. That was shot within an hour. The company owner asked David and Cathy to sit and have a talk with me about my recruiting. They both knew that there was no reason to talk to me about recruiting, but they had to do it. So they did. I felt humiliated and fairly worthless afterwards. I try to please everyone in a workplace, but the company owner is impossible to please. So that combined with everything that's going on with Chester put me into a very bad mood. Despite that I managed to get a bunch done at work.
Left and walked home with Holly, as she was in the area at the time. Worked myself into quite a state of fury on the walk home. Got home and called my mom on my cell phone to talk to her. The house phone rings and Holly answers it. She looks confused at this time. Asks who it is and tells the caller that I'm talking with my mom. They hang up. She tells me that it was the company owner. I *69 the number after letting my mom go and talk with him. It was a productive conversation. Apparantly he called the office and talked with Cathy after I left for the night. She told him that I was a bit upset and moreso, confused about the accusations. He asked her if she thought that calling me a talking to me would be a good idea. She told him that he could do that or wait for me to e-mail him in the morning about it. She gave him the number. I really do feel better after the conversation. He told me that he knows that it's hard to get people to stop for you on a weeknight and he just wants me to not get discouraged. He also commended me for doing everything that I do when I'm going to school full time and working nearly full time too. That made me feel worlds better. I told him that if there is ever a problem with my recruiting or anything for that matter, that he should not hesitate to talk to me directly. He was worried that talking to me directly would offend me. Got off the phone with him and called my mom back to tell her what happened. Got off the phone with her and the house phone rings again. It's Cathy, calling to see how things went with the company owner. She's such a sweetheart, she was really worried. Apparantly he felt badly because he thought that I thought that he really disliked me as a person.
So now I'm nearing the top of the world again. The storm tonight has passed. I'm cheery, not as much as I was earlier today, but more cheerful nonetheless. I'm still upset about Chester, but I know that we're doing the best thing for him and that he won't be suffering anymore. I'm sure I'll be down again tomorrow when mom calls me after they go to the vet. I know I'll be down. But I understand now that I know what to expect, so I should be fine.