someone better slap me before i start to rust, before i start to decompose

[urnewaesthetic]

i should be happy, right? i got what i wanted. he doesn't want to leave me here alone. i should be bouncing off the fucking walls. but i feel so strange. i mean, i am thrilled that maybe things can work with us. but what if im not worth it. what if he makes this life-changing decision and stays with me, and im not good enough for that. i dont even know if i deserve that. i just dont want to fuck up, and dissapoint him later in life (not like cheating or anything, i know him and i dont even have to worry about that, but like sucking at life) and make him wish he hadnt stayed. but i love him more than anything, and i dont want to have to be without him. i hope i can be good enough for that.

anyway, im tired. ill probably stress myself over this more tomorrow.

I love you Vincent!