Feelings
Well here I am at work. I want to talk to someone but I don't need these guys knowing my personal business. I also don't have any friends left to talk to because I pushed them all away. I pushed them away because of Jo. He had me and still has me believing that he is all I need. Well he's in southern California right now and Im in New Mexico. So I do get lonely and just want a friend. I have Sasha (has her daughter) and claudia (has her husband). So they have ppl to keep them company.
I told Jo that I wanted a boxer. He tells me that I can't take care of animals because I'm not responsible. Wow! "How am I ever going to take care of a baby?" (my opinion) Well he already told me that he had a vasectomy and then he goes and says he'll give me as many babies as I want.. He goes back and forth and tells me I'm tripping.
I asked him later on why he was with me? He said "cuz I make him happy" then I ask even if I'm not responsible and ant take care of anything. (My job is to take care of PPL!!! Why would anyone hire me, if they think I can't do that!!!) he says what I can't take care of he will. I then told him that "I don't need him to take care of anything for me." he responds with, "You're trippen"
I mean he basically tells me that I can't even have the company of a K-9.
So he once again makes me feel like crap. I need to get out of this relationship. I'm tired of being talked down to and talked to like I'm a kid. I'm an adult. I've been taken care of myself for how long?
I want to be appreciated. I want to be loved. I want to be treated like an equal.
And now I'm listening to this song where this guy is singing " I love you crazy, but I can't lie you back. I love you with all my heart but I just can't love you back" it made me think of Jessica. Phat girl! I miss you and love you! She wouldn't want anyone to treat me like this.
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