I FEEL FUCKING RIDICULOUS!!
WHY ARE THINGS SO SHITTY?!?
i'm still grateful, just hurt.
i wish things would go back to the way they used to be. but then i have conflicting feelings of
well, would i want to be the same as i was then? i don't really feel like i've changed at all. i don't think i have, but i would like to think so. i feel delusional. i don't feel like i can fix any of the shit that has happened.
"he's not into you he's into the idea of.."
i think i had alot more fun without all the stress of trying to mature and grow up. i don't want to because i'm afraid i'll change too much and i'll be boring. i hate having to make decisions. especially when i could get hurt. i don't feel like i could take it.
i'm so grateful for what i have now. i've never had so much and felt so alone. i feel like i've gone back. i never changed.
i don't know. there are so many conflicting emotions and decisions. i'm not really sure what to do. am i even worth the attention or affection? am i worth any of it? i think i've basically lost everyone because of my bullshit. i guess that could be true and i don't blame them because i wouldn't have put up with it. i tried to fix things but past events were brought up and i was dropped. i'm so confused. i don't know what to do. i have no idea.
i'm still grateful, just hurt.
i wish things would go back to the way they used to be. but then i have conflicting feelings of
well, would i want to be the same as i was then? i don't really feel like i've changed at all. i don't think i have, but i would like to think so. i feel delusional. i don't feel like i can fix any of the shit that has happened.
"he's not into you he's into the idea of.."
i think i had alot more fun without all the stress of trying to mature and grow up. i don't want to because i'm afraid i'll change too much and i'll be boring. i hate having to make decisions. especially when i could get hurt. i don't feel like i could take it.
i'm so grateful for what i have now. i've never had so much and felt so alone. i feel like i've gone back. i never changed.
i don't know. there are so many conflicting emotions and decisions. i'm not really sure what to do. am i even worth the attention or affection? am i worth any of it? i think i've basically lost everyone because of my bullshit. i guess that could be true and i don't blame them because i wouldn't have put up with it. i tried to fix things but past events were brought up and i was dropped. i'm so confused. i don't know what to do. i have no idea.