take me fucking seriously.

[urmomlastnite]

i'm really tired. i want to go home. today i think it would've been better if i had left with my mother. it's just one of those days. it's not even out of my options. used. opportunity. fuck. fuck. fuck. take me seriously. talk to me. it would kill me. it hurts. when am i going to just say.. fuck it.. right now is one of those moments. i think it would be better if i didn't care. sometimes i think my only weakness is that i care. but it's not. i wish i could be there with you. but you don't want me. i'm not even a runaway. i'm a throwaway, if there's such a thing. i'm just a fuck in between until you find yourself the new one. i'm just a filler. entertainment. fuck. fuck. fuck. irritated. frustrated. i'm so mad, and yet. i think i'm getting to the point where nothing really matters. let them do it, walk all over me.. fuck me over.. fuck. fuck. FUCK! but will this ever change? i miss aj. i miss charles. i miss jewstah. i miss too many people. worthless. shitfaced. this is just another rant about how i feel inadaquate next to the other person. about how i look next to that other person. i'm not worth it. i'm not interesting. i'm too calm. i'm too quite. i lash out. i'm impulsive. SAY IT TO MY FACE! i'm not even tired anymore. i'm past that point. i'm staying in tonight. leaving doesn't feel like an option. i would rather die than have him touch me again. fuck. FUCK. FUCK!

inadaquate. worthless. just another filler.