(no subject)

[urinefection]

I have grown complacent to the breaking of my heart. It's a clean break and will grow back accordingly. as I have escaped the prison of intoxication, I find myself the very same person at the end of the day.I wear these track marks as trophies. figuratively, of course. live by the needle, die by the needle. I have come to learn that this is not how I end. my days of surfing my veins on the riptide that is my spinal chord have ended in a bright explosion of the tears of yesterday. and if you can somehow piece me back together to the jigsaw I once was then together we can hope that the glue holds. together.you are my vitamins, my violent femmes, my vicodin. I feel naked, on a stage with no floodlights puking from my heart the most private and essential pieces of my being to a crowd that didn't pay to see the show. my brain cries meth and my heart cries feed me. free me. fuck me. hold me. love's a shade of gray, and an even whiter shade of pale.

I need a fuckin shower.