.
so here i am. sitting. after an insanely ridiculously stressful and busy week, im at home. sitting by myself for the first time..and i have to say. im not enjoying it. i miss my family and i miss my dad. i shouldnt have gone back to work so soon. i dont know.. i just dont feel like doing anything except drinking.. i dislike my job suddenly. which is weird cause usually im quite content with what i do.. i dunno.. perhaps depression is setting in again.. its been awhile ol friend.. cant say i missed it.
hm.. lukes out playing pool. and im dwelling.. over the last few years i dunno..me and my dad were finally getting along really well.. he was treating me very well and i liked living with him. he was always trying to take care of me. and then i moved out and i hardly ever went to see him even though he was less than 10 minutes away. and hes only ever been at my apartment once while helping us carry up my bed and such...
i feel like a shitty person. a shitty daughter. the last night he was alive i HAD the chance to go see him.. but i didnt until he was gone.. because i was scared and kept making up excuses.. and then i got there.. and it was too late. i didnt get to even say goodbye. it had been 2 days since i went. granted i called him.. but.. i dont know. he didnt deserve to go like this. and now hes not here. and nicholas is just 15 and doesnt have a dad
i dont know i just... feel really shitty. katie was right.. after all the comotion died down i would just crash..
hm.. lukes out playing pool. and im dwelling.. over the last few years i dunno..me and my dad were finally getting along really well.. he was treating me very well and i liked living with him. he was always trying to take care of me. and then i moved out and i hardly ever went to see him even though he was less than 10 minutes away. and hes only ever been at my apartment once while helping us carry up my bed and such...
i feel like a shitty person. a shitty daughter. the last night he was alive i HAD the chance to go see him.. but i didnt until he was gone.. because i was scared and kept making up excuses.. and then i got there.. and it was too late. i didnt get to even say goodbye. it had been 2 days since i went. granted i called him.. but.. i dont know. he didnt deserve to go like this. and now hes not here. and nicholas is just 15 and doesnt have a dad
i dont know i just... feel really shitty. katie was right.. after all the comotion died down i would just crash..