RANDOM.
I have never felt as rejected, pathetic, miserable, ugly, depressed
as I have these last days. Yeah, there are always those moments when im smiling, and im actually happy but when I get home it all changes. And i dont understand why. It's like in order for me to be happy I have to be with people I love and trust, and the people I love and trust are not around anymore. My family nowhere near understands me nor do they have the desire to, they are completely out of the picture. I dont understand why. What did I do? Nothing. Im lying though, because I have my brothers who I know would do anything for me and who listen to me ESPECIALLY my brother sean I hate the fact that my mom acts so rude towards him, I love him so much and if there is anybody that I feel can relate to me for some reason he is the only person i can really POUR my heart out to because I know he knows how it feels....I know he does coming from what hes been through. Anyone else just would think that you are exxagerating, or show sympathy for you...a real friend knows that is NOT what im searching for.
I hate people. So much.
& i used to love them.
I cant even believe how much life has changed, since I was a little girl. And now im so used to being all grown up and almost LEGAL its a little scary, but exciting. I have to learn how to stick by my own side again, because I started giving in and letting my friends be there...but it only makes me weak. You always have to remember...you are the only one who can make you happy. Nobody else can, no matter how much of your heart they carry, they can BREAK IT at any given moment. At least your careful with your own heart.
But all that doesnt make up for the fact that..
I miss him. :-( but im not gonna even get onto that subject.
as I have these last days. Yeah, there are always those moments when im smiling, and im actually happy but when I get home it all changes. And i dont understand why. It's like in order for me to be happy I have to be with people I love and trust, and the people I love and trust are not around anymore. My family nowhere near understands me nor do they have the desire to, they are completely out of the picture. I dont understand why. What did I do? Nothing. Im lying though, because I have my brothers who I know would do anything for me and who listen to me ESPECIALLY my brother sean I hate the fact that my mom acts so rude towards him, I love him so much and if there is anybody that I feel can relate to me for some reason he is the only person i can really POUR my heart out to because I know he knows how it feels....I know he does coming from what hes been through. Anyone else just would think that you are exxagerating, or show sympathy for you...a real friend knows that is NOT what im searching for.
I hate people. So much.
& i used to love them.
I cant even believe how much life has changed, since I was a little girl. And now im so used to being all grown up and almost LEGAL its a little scary, but exciting. I have to learn how to stick by my own side again, because I started giving in and letting my friends be there...but it only makes me weak. You always have to remember...you are the only one who can make you happy. Nobody else can, no matter how much of your heart they carry, they can BREAK IT at any given moment. At least your careful with your own heart.
But all that doesnt make up for the fact that..
I miss him. :-( but im not gonna even get onto that subject.