Random
To whom it may concern:
Why is that we all argue over whose pain is worse? Quite frankly, how do you, or I, know what anyone else is going through? It’s not possible. I am not trying to start a flame war, but quite simply trying to show you how idiotic the whole thing is.
I have grown up watching my father suffer with cluster headaches and my mother suffer with migraines and painful periods. I myself have suffered with endometriosis for many a year, and now IBS. I also have borderline personality disorder. I wouldn’t wish what I have on my parents, nor would they wish what they have on me. Nor will I ever say that I hurt worse than them, even in my direst moments.
Many of you say that sufferers don’t understand. You bitch, you whine, you complain that they will NEVER understand what you are going through. Maybe they don’t, but YOU are the only one who can change that. Part of being a sufferer, unfortunately, is also being a supporter, though many people don’t realize that. Your family, your friends, your group of supporters needs to know that no matter how bad you hurt, no matter how bad the thoughts are in your mind, that you still love them and them need them.
Sometimes what sufferers go through doesn’t even compare to what supporters have to go through. Yes we hurt, but they have to watch us hurt, they have to watch, knowing that they can’t do anything. Many a time over the past years I’ve watched my mother holding her head in agony knowing that there was nothing I could do to help her. When I was younger, only a child, I watched my father suffer with his clusters, thinking in my young mind that I could help if I offered him a cold rag. In recent years, both my parents have watched me suffer, go through treatment after treatment, surgery after surgery, only to be left hurting again.
I am from a family of both those who suffer and those who support. I am tired of seeing people say that those who don’t suffer don’t understand. I am tired of seeing those that support being told that they don’t understand. I am, also, very tired of many supporters not trying to understand. The circle must be made.
Pain is pain, no matter what form it comes in, whether it is that of the sufferer, or that of the supporter. We’d all be wise to not forget that.
Sincerely,
Sarah