(no subject)
Ok well before I start this entry I have to say one thing:..120F!? What in the world is that even possible??Its hot as I don't know what up here!
Ok so moving on.Today is Wednesday which means it has been one week since I left Florida. That is sad. I wish I could come back. I would move back down there in a heartbeat. Don't get me wrong I am happy to be back home..only because of my best friend..other than her there is no other thing stopping me from moving back down to Florida. Why I don't do it I don't know.I miss being able to call everyone during the day/whenever I wanted to..Its almost as if things change once I get back home. Ok well since I havent updated in like a week I am going to make a long entry and tell y'all what has happened in this one week. Ok so last Wednesday, it was my last night..I went to church to see everyone there for the last time. Then I came home and started to pack my things...which I so tried to hold off on. Ok so i'm packing and then I get on the phone...that phone call was my excuse to stop packing for a lil bit.So yeah that conversation was..uuhh interesting I guess you could say...It made me happy but at the same time it made me sad. Ok so then I get off the phone at like almost midnight and then I finish packing. Whilepacking I ened up having a few tears roll down my face. So then I layed down and tried not to think about all of it and then I just ended up falling asleep.I wake up get ready and then my brother comes I get my stuff packed into his car and then we head out.He gave me a Yellowcard poster he had that theguys had written on..That made me ecstatic. So then he starts putting in a Yellowcard cd that was actually a demo-it was the audition songs that Ryan had done--and then he put in some live Howie Day stuff.So we got to SC and met up with my mom and we had lunch then I put all my things into my mothers car and said bye to my bro. So we get on the road again and then we get to NC. So then Friday morning I wake up and go over to JWU and check in. Went up to my dorm get settled in and then I roam around the school for a llil bit. I headed back up to my dorm to see my roomies.Everyone there looked like they were like 12 or something and they were all so quiet. I was the one who ended up talking and introducing myself to people. JWU was fun met practically everyone there and I was everyones entertainment for the weekend.
Sunday I came home , unpacked and then just layed around thinki9ng...about everything...I think I might have passed up a great opportunity..I dont know though what is going on..I am so confused..Ok anyways..Monday I got everything in my room back to the way it was. Tuesday I cleaned and then today..I am over at my aunts house...Actually there is more to Tuesday...I ended up collapsing late last nite...I don't know what happened .I remember getting really cold..and I think I was upset about some things and I got up and I remember falling but thats it..That was so scary..I guess my mom heard me fall or whatever..It was so strange..Cause like I couldnt see anything but I remember having flashbacks of conversations I had and like that is all I heard..but then I came back to myself and everything was all ok again....I think that was one of the most scary things that hs ever happened to me..I didnt know what was going on and I thought I was like going to die or something..
But i'm ok now so no worries..Anyways I was going through some things Monday and I found this little book that is called 'My Life According to Me'..Its this little book that write in and well I found something that I once wrote...: When will I find the strength to do it
Why cant I just say whats on my mind
I can already tell that I'm gonna lose him
My life won't be the same
3 little words that could
change everything
but whats inside is different
than what I could express outside
Why cant I do it
When will I say it
how can I make him believe me
So yeah..I dont know how long ago I did this...I'm not as freaked out by this anymore...I think I am actually able to say it...and be told it without like freaking out and wanting to run....Some how Florida changed me some what this summer..Everyone has told me that when they talk to me and when they would tlk to me while I was down there..They said that I seemed so much more happier than my normal happy self...I feel kinda different too. I have learned some thigs while I was down there..
So anyways Howie Day concert is tomorrow night..I am going with Kim..this will be the second time seeing him..wahoo...Friday I have a concert too...
Robin..see I told you to listen to me..I told you that long distance WASN'T a bunch of crap..it can work out..you just have to trust eachother..and be patient..and you have to be able to communicate..I am so happy for you....
I cant have what I want....I cant have you..which means you are the one I want..........oo wow..I have no idea where that one came from...Goodness..I am very random at times...
I was told to take this opportunity and do what I thought was best and what would make me happy..I said that I didnt think I could do it....I was scared though...scared of rejection... And now I am kicking myself because I think that my opportunity passed right by me..This might be just what I think because everybody else is telling me that the opportunity is still there.I dont want to do anything that you dont want to do..I am not scared any more you have made me realize that it is okay..and now I am ready...
hhmmm wow..another moment or randomness...deep thoughtful randomness.....
Well I am out I will talk to you people whenever I can...So does Florida miss me yet?..or do y'all not even realize I am gona?11..lol...Since it is practically impossible to contact any of you down there..I swear y'all are only home when youre sleeping....I guess I will have to just try to contact yall on the computer..I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sara
Ok so moving on.Today is Wednesday which means it has been one week since I left Florida. That is sad. I wish I could come back. I would move back down there in a heartbeat. Don't get me wrong I am happy to be back home..only because of my best friend..other than her there is no other thing stopping me from moving back down to Florida. Why I don't do it I don't know.I miss being able to call everyone during the day/whenever I wanted to..Its almost as if things change once I get back home. Ok well since I havent updated in like a week I am going to make a long entry and tell y'all what has happened in this one week. Ok so last Wednesday, it was my last night..I went to church to see everyone there for the last time. Then I came home and started to pack my things...which I so tried to hold off on. Ok so i'm packing and then I get on the phone...that phone call was my excuse to stop packing for a lil bit.So yeah that conversation was..uuhh interesting I guess you could say...It made me happy but at the same time it made me sad. Ok so then I get off the phone at like almost midnight and then I finish packing. Whilepacking I ened up having a few tears roll down my face. So then I layed down and tried not to think about all of it and then I just ended up falling asleep.I wake up get ready and then my brother comes I get my stuff packed into his car and then we head out.He gave me a Yellowcard poster he had that theguys had written on..That made me ecstatic. So then he starts putting in a Yellowcard cd that was actually a demo-it was the audition songs that Ryan had done--and then he put in some live Howie Day stuff.So we got to SC and met up with my mom and we had lunch then I put all my things into my mothers car and said bye to my bro. So we get on the road again and then we get to NC. So then Friday morning I wake up and go over to JWU and check in. Went up to my dorm get settled in and then I roam around the school for a llil bit. I headed back up to my dorm to see my roomies.Everyone there looked like they were like 12 or something and they were all so quiet. I was the one who ended up talking and introducing myself to people. JWU was fun met practically everyone there and I was everyones entertainment for the weekend.
Sunday I came home , unpacked and then just layed around thinki9ng...about everything...I think I might have passed up a great opportunity..I dont know though what is going on..I am so confused..Ok anyways..Monday I got everything in my room back to the way it was. Tuesday I cleaned and then today..I am over at my aunts house...Actually there is more to Tuesday...I ended up collapsing late last nite...I don't know what happened .I remember getting really cold..and I think I was upset about some things and I got up and I remember falling but thats it..That was so scary..I guess my mom heard me fall or whatever..It was so strange..Cause like I couldnt see anything but I remember having flashbacks of conversations I had and like that is all I heard..but then I came back to myself and everything was all ok again....I think that was one of the most scary things that hs ever happened to me..I didnt know what was going on and I thought I was like going to die or something..
But i'm ok now so no worries..Anyways I was going through some things Monday and I found this little book that is called 'My Life According to Me'..Its this little book that write in and well I found something that I once wrote...: When will I find the strength to do it
Why cant I just say whats on my mind
I can already tell that I'm gonna lose him
My life won't be the same
3 little words that could
change everything
but whats inside is different
than what I could express outside
Why cant I do it
When will I say it
how can I make him believe me
So yeah..I dont know how long ago I did this...I'm not as freaked out by this anymore...I think I am actually able to say it...and be told it without like freaking out and wanting to run....Some how Florida changed me some what this summer..Everyone has told me that when they talk to me and when they would tlk to me while I was down there..They said that I seemed so much more happier than my normal happy self...I feel kinda different too. I have learned some thigs while I was down there..
So anyways Howie Day concert is tomorrow night..I am going with Kim..this will be the second time seeing him..wahoo...Friday I have a concert too...
Robin..see I told you to listen to me..I told you that long distance WASN'T a bunch of crap..it can work out..you just have to trust eachother..and be patient..and you have to be able to communicate..I am so happy for you....
I cant have what I want....I cant have you..which means you are the one I want..........oo wow..I have no idea where that one came from...Goodness..I am very random at times...
I was told to take this opportunity and do what I thought was best and what would make me happy..I said that I didnt think I could do it....I was scared though...scared of rejection... And now I am kicking myself because I think that my opportunity passed right by me..This might be just what I think because everybody else is telling me that the opportunity is still there.I dont want to do anything that you dont want to do..I am not scared any more you have made me realize that it is okay..and now I am ready...
hhmmm wow..another moment or randomness...deep thoughtful randomness.....
Well I am out I will talk to you people whenever I can...So does Florida miss me yet?..or do y'all not even realize I am gona?11..lol...Since it is practically impossible to contact any of you down there..I swear y'all are only home when youre sleeping....I guess I will have to just try to contact yall on the computer..I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sara