I have alot of these dayz lately...
So...yeah. Life is life I guess. I dont know what to do with myself half the time because I dont know what to do anymore. I'm just wasting away to nothing. Why am I so worried about everyone else but me? I dont understand why I do that to myself. I need a change. Im going to be 22 tomorrow and itz really making me think about shit. I know it might sound dumb because itz only 22 but itz a big deal to me. Im getting older and I dont like it. Plus it doesnt help that I have all this shit going on in my head...itz like Im in too deep. I need something, a way out. Just need to start doing more with my life instead of being a lazy pothead, I need to be an active one, and yes itz possible. Ive done it b4, Im just in a VERY LONG rut. And in no shape or form do I blame weed on my being lazy, I blame my situation, which is also my fault. Dont know what my propblem is about getting my permit, I think I put it off wwwaaaayyyy too long and now Im just scared instead of excited. I hate being such a paranoid freek about everything, just wish I could let go and just do things. I hold me back...GRR. Pretty much Im just bitching about myself and how I cant do anything right. oh man. Just cant let go...of alot. Something needs to smack me in the face and say "Do what YOU want, not what others want" and **POOF** Ill be better. Ha if only. But yeah. Im not really done bitching but Id rather keep bottling it up like always...till I pop.
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