hello web
my mother left about an hour ago... i've been lying in bed ever since, trying to sleep. i had gone to bed an hour before then, here i am again. i have a hard time sleeping again once my sleep is interrupted. today it just seems impossible. i feel so insecure right now. i keep asking myself what am i going to do. i took a leap, which i don't really regret, but i'll be honest and admit that it does scare me. not that i'm going to starve or be without a home.. far from all that as a matter of fact. yet still...
"si quieres llamarme alguna vez.." she said to me.. i replied with "ma." i don't feel comfortable talking to her, never really did. i think cuz i was always so scared of her. i learned to keep things to myself and make little contact with her, with everyone. of course, i don't want to call her it would just be so awkward. but maybe i should surprise her, surprise myself rather.
i feel tired.. i'll just stay here and wait until my body gives in. i'll try not to think much.. i really enjoy being alone with my thoughts usually, but whatever. i'll be here. morning!