Following up where we left off . . .

[urbanrebel]

From last time . . . . 

• "So I booked  two more weekends over the next  10 weeks and sent them an email  complementing my buddy at the front desk.  A few hours later, I got an email from the manager thanking me,  giving me his personal extention telling me to contact him  when I’m coming back and he’ll personally handle my reservation. I emailed him

Comments

[urbanrebel]

"I am curious as to why your friends are breaking up, though. "

Well, I have my thoughts on what contributed to this situation. They are both my friends now and I adore them both, but the one I speak of here who I knew before they got together is heartbroken . . . he wouldn't even think of splitting, and it's not like they are even fighting. They love spending time together doing things, are still best friends, and by all outward appearances they are fine.

But the other one is (in my opinion) going through a mid-life crisis of sorts. Have you noticed "mid-life" crisis' come younger in gay people? He's pulled away emotionally and disconnected from the non-friendship portion of the relationship. There's some really heavy stuff that happened in his family in recent years - unrelated to their relationship that very few know about and I don't feel at liberty to discuss, but he never dealt with it and just tried to shut it out.

I mentioned at the time that he should get some counseling because no one could deal with that and not have it rear it's ugly head at some point, and he got kind of offended, so I dropped it. I think it's rearing it's head now - but he still won't talk about it in counseling. He's even now saying he wants another counselor because this one wants to go into it and he wants no part of it.

So I really think he's disconnecting emotionally - period. Suddenly after 12 years he doesn't know what he wants, doesn't know how to fix it, but still won't consider delving into the matter I think may be the key.

[thespos]

Not at liberty to discuss? Do I know them? LOL!

And you're right - he probably needs help, but if he won't seek it or accept it, there is nothing anyone can do. :-\

[urbanrebel]

LOL. No, I mean really heavy, told in complete confidence. It could be one of those 20/20 specials type of heavy. I'm probably one of the 3 or 4 people (at most) who know outside of his family. It would feel like a betrayal to mention something like that to anyone in any medium when told to me in such strict confidence, but I can't imagine that isn't playing a part in all this.

My friend . . . he had a very tough childhood and has basically been on his own since 15. He's the most amazing person. Truly. He finally has a family in his other half's family, so I think the idea losing it scares scares him. When I had the house in OC and he was 21, I gave him a key and told him to use it 24/7. He didn't have to ask if he could come. Just come and go as he pleased like it was his family's house and I was his family. I loved it when he'd just come down and do his wash, hang out and spend the night in the guest room. It was like having the little brother I never had, and he had that sense of security that he always had a place to go.

At the time, he had a teeny, tiny studio apartment and just getting by. Now he makes good money, has a family, they own a place, travels the world, and he hasn't needed me in that way - which makes me really happy. This is what I wanted for him.

So in sending him the flowers and that note, I just wanted him to know nothing has changed - he always has me and will never ever be alone in this world ever again - at least not as long as I'm alive.

[thespos]

I understand. It's good that he has you.