(no subject)
This sucks.
What sucks?
EVERYTHING!
I had the most HORRIBLE dreams last night.
Within an hour and a half of falling asleep, I woke up crying & in a panic.
First dream was about me being in some building, seemed like a school or college place with lots of people around and I kept seeing my Gram. But she would turn and walk away too fast for me to get her and there would be all these people blocking me from her. After seeing her several times, I yelled down the hall to her and she turned around. I saw her... her face. I told her I missed her, she told me she missed me too and I started screaming crying [like now] - my Aunt MaryAnn showed up out of no where and told me to stop that it was making her sad. I look over and she like changed. It wasnt her. It was her, but it didnt look like her anymore... It was horrible.
I can't believe its been almost a month and its just now setting in. My sister was telling me about how its hard for her, cause she sees her in her dreams and I didnt have anything like that yet. Man, I could NOT fall back asleep again. All I kept seeing was the horrible image of her, pale, with no wig.. her black hair and she looked so sick. UGHDhajkljdakljdakdakldlasdjkjashdhaas!~!!
: ((
Ugh, then I go like somewhere and I find Smokes and her leg is like GUSHING out blood, so I wrap it real tight and like carry her around and do something. Then I see Jasper, and his head has like cut marks and his orange markings are now blood stained. I go to find Smokes again and some vicious dog has her ENTIRE head in his mouth and shes trying SO hard to get out.. and from all the straining, her incision from her surgery busted open and her guts were coming out. My roommate told me she wasnt going to live... all while Jasper was sitting there, bleeding everywhere himself, watching. I must have really gotten scared cause I woke up, looked out the window and there were my babies on the porch with their little heads inbetween the bars checkin things out.
Now the rest of my day is going to suck. I didnt sleep for shit. I really just couldnt picture anything other then that. I tried to like think of Valerie having babies [she just got married yesterday]... I dont know, something HAPPY. BLAH.
So- back to Nashua kids. I think. Well.. yeah. Probably not till like December or something. Not that I need to finish these classes, because they are classes that I have already taken and if I go back to St.Joes, or Riv... I already got the credits. But I am supose to be here till Seth gets a new roommate. But what the eF? I dont know. I guess I'll figure something out.
SO SAD...
all i want to do is talk to my best friend.
weigh out things and help me make a discison.
but shit. some cunt shut my phone off.
time for work - till 8.
then i'll be trying to call you...
What sucks?
EVERYTHING!
I had the most HORRIBLE dreams last night.
Within an hour and a half of falling asleep, I woke up crying & in a panic.
First dream was about me being in some building, seemed like a school or college place with lots of people around and I kept seeing my Gram. But she would turn and walk away too fast for me to get her and there would be all these people blocking me from her. After seeing her several times, I yelled down the hall to her and she turned around. I saw her... her face. I told her I missed her, she told me she missed me too and I started screaming crying [like now] - my Aunt MaryAnn showed up out of no where and told me to stop that it was making her sad. I look over and she like changed. It wasnt her. It was her, but it didnt look like her anymore... It was horrible.
I can't believe its been almost a month and its just now setting in. My sister was telling me about how its hard for her, cause she sees her in her dreams and I didnt have anything like that yet. Man, I could NOT fall back asleep again. All I kept seeing was the horrible image of her, pale, with no wig.. her black hair and she looked so sick. UGHDhajkljdakljdakdakldlasdjkjashdhaas!~!!
: ((
Ugh, then I go like somewhere and I find Smokes and her leg is like GUSHING out blood, so I wrap it real tight and like carry her around and do something. Then I see Jasper, and his head has like cut marks and his orange markings are now blood stained. I go to find Smokes again and some vicious dog has her ENTIRE head in his mouth and shes trying SO hard to get out.. and from all the straining, her incision from her surgery busted open and her guts were coming out. My roommate told me she wasnt going to live... all while Jasper was sitting there, bleeding everywhere himself, watching. I must have really gotten scared cause I woke up, looked out the window and there were my babies on the porch with their little heads inbetween the bars checkin things out.
Now the rest of my day is going to suck. I didnt sleep for shit. I really just couldnt picture anything other then that. I tried to like think of Valerie having babies [she just got married yesterday]... I dont know, something HAPPY. BLAH.
So- back to Nashua kids. I think. Well.. yeah. Probably not till like December or something. Not that I need to finish these classes, because they are classes that I have already taken and if I go back to St.Joes, or Riv... I already got the credits. But I am supose to be here till Seth gets a new roommate. But what the eF? I dont know. I guess I'll figure something out.
SO SAD...
all i want to do is talk to my best friend.
weigh out things and help me make a discison.
but shit. some cunt shut my phone off.
time for work - till 8.
then i'll be trying to call you...