the other side of the page
after i left new york, i lost track of the days. i forgot a day here and there and all of a sudden, i was very confused. what was joel doing here? why was carlos leaving again? i`m really in another place. i watched two wong-kar wai movies, eight dollars a piece and realized that our rooms are an architecture of memory. i watched one movie in the theatre and thought of how i lived in new york and where i had been and if i had been there, really. yes, i`m still living in the past but that is what i`m good at.
i keep debating whether or not i should leave today or tomorrow or wait for monday and i really need to just pack up and stop making excuses.
i`m going to london in a few days, for the first week of june and i keep forgetting how long i have until i must go. i found my lost passport so there`s nothing keeping me from going this time. and i have no job yet but in a way, i needed this time. i`m going to see it as a blessing and not as a frustration.