in hopes that thinking about writing will spur some more, you know, actual writing

[urbancate]

The DVD Commentary Meme

Pick a passage from one of my stories, and comment to this post with that selection (including a link to the story being excerpted). I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain

Comments

[urbancate]

Ooh, this is such a great scene.

It's pretty typical of my style, I guess. I like to tell the story, reveal emotions, reveal character through dialogue without a lot of qualifiers - I try to let the characters speak for themselves. I want the readers to hear the characters.

The crux of it is this: McCoy feels Leah is off limits. For a number of reasons: as CMO he's kind of her doctor (and he was part of her team of doctors at Starfleet), she's a civilian on the ship, and the (rampant) rumor mill says she's dating Kirk. He would like to believe the rumor mill, because it gives him another reason to keep his distance, to not grow hopeful about this woman he's attracted to - an attraction that he feels is inappropriate - for the reasons already named - and because he's McCoy, divorced king of commitment issues.

So here's Chapel: Telling him the rumors aren't true, giving him tacit permission to pursue a relationship, and also calling him out on being afraid of pursuing a relationship. The permission is important to McCoy, but also to the audience. Because here's a pretty involved McCoy het story that is NOT with Chapel, and the audience (and the writer) don't want to see total denial of one of their favorite pairings. So, McCoy and Chapel may not be romantically involved, but in this scene you see that they are friends and equals - that's the eyebrow raise.

And then, for good measure, because sometimes I try for a little sci-fi in my sci-fi fanfic, there's the made-up science. Can a bio-scan detect if someone is sexually active, recently or not? I decided it can. So there.

[izzyfics]

I absolutely love your dialogue, btw. And this scene just illustrates that love.

So agree with you on the bio-scan part--of course it could tell!