The Weight of Possibility
All I needed was to know it was possible.
The numbers on the scale are down to 103 but instead of the hopelessness I usually feel when I lose a couple pounds I feel determined. I can eat more, I can put weight on. I can make the 2 lb fluctuation the difference between 103 and 107 rather than 93 and 97. I can do this.
Gaining that little bit, seeing a change on the scale after 15 years has given me so much hope. I feel renewed. It's not just a dream because it already happened. I already gained weight. Now my reality is keeping it and gaining more and it is a reality.
I have this weight maintenance plan now - I have been smoking pot before eating, just a toke or two when possible. It makes me capable of eating almost double my normal portion size. That, and staying with my amazing partner who makes me so very happy and feeds me good food are two more parts to my weight maintenance.
The numbers on the scale are down to 103 but instead of the hopelessness I usually feel when I lose a couple pounds I feel determined. I can eat more, I can put weight on. I can make the 2 lb fluctuation the difference between 103 and 107 rather than 93 and 97. I can do this.
Gaining that little bit, seeing a change on the scale after 15 years has given me so much hope. I feel renewed. It's not just a dream because it already happened. I already gained weight. Now my reality is keeping it and gaining more and it is a reality.
I have this weight maintenance plan now - I have been smoking pot before eating, just a toke or two when possible. It makes me capable of eating almost double my normal portion size. That, and staying with my amazing partner who makes me so very happy and feeds me good food are two more parts to my weight maintenance.