(no subject)
Okay.
I am feeling a hair better. At least I didnt cry at work today. I feel exhausted though. Like, physically exhausted. Tired.
I feel like there's nothing left in me. Nothing more to give, no cheerfulness, no smiles, not even anymore tears. God knows Ive cried enough.
So heres a question: how do you move on from the best, most important, life changing thing that has ever happened to you? How do you pack up an leave when you can't seem to find a suitcase and you don't know what goes in it? I feel like I could take the suitcase, but it's always going to be empty.
I don't know. My mom thinks things will work out, but I don't want to be stupidly optomistic. I want to be realistic, which hurts. Realisticly, I don't know. Either way, I don't like it.
Work was a drone today. I felt like I was stuck there for a year and I would never be allowed to come home. I'm not hungry, I'm too tired, and my face wreaks of sadness.
I guess you wouldn't understand if you haven't been in my spot. He is the ONE. Yes, I don't care what you say. He's IT. And now, I've pushed him away. I am solely to blame, and I don't know how I am going to live with myself. (hits herself on the head, repeating the words "stupid, stupid Megan"). Yeaaaaaaaaah.
I love him. I wore my rosary today. Oh Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer" is perfect:
She says weve got to hold on to what weve got
cause it doesnt make a difference
If we make it or not
Weve got each other and thats a lot
For love - well give it a shot
Chorus:
Whooah, were half way there
Livin on a prayer
Take my hand and well make it - I swear
Livin on a prayer
He won't take my calls. IDK why.
I think I am going to take a nap. Maybe I would feel more refreshed? Doubt it.
Oh hey, God, help me out here?
I am feeling a hair better. At least I didnt cry at work today. I feel exhausted though. Like, physically exhausted. Tired.
I feel like there's nothing left in me. Nothing more to give, no cheerfulness, no smiles, not even anymore tears. God knows Ive cried enough.
So heres a question: how do you move on from the best, most important, life changing thing that has ever happened to you? How do you pack up an leave when you can't seem to find a suitcase and you don't know what goes in it? I feel like I could take the suitcase, but it's always going to be empty.
I don't know. My mom thinks things will work out, but I don't want to be stupidly optomistic. I want to be realistic, which hurts. Realisticly, I don't know. Either way, I don't like it.
Work was a drone today. I felt like I was stuck there for a year and I would never be allowed to come home. I'm not hungry, I'm too tired, and my face wreaks of sadness.
I guess you wouldn't understand if you haven't been in my spot. He is the ONE. Yes, I don't care what you say. He's IT. And now, I've pushed him away. I am solely to blame, and I don't know how I am going to live with myself. (hits herself on the head, repeating the words "stupid, stupid Megan"). Yeaaaaaaaaah.
I love him. I wore my rosary today. Oh Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer" is perfect:
She says weve got to hold on to what weve got
cause it doesnt make a difference
If we make it or not
Weve got each other and thats a lot
For love - well give it a shot
Chorus:
Whooah, were half way there
Livin on a prayer
Take my hand and well make it - I swear
Livin on a prayer
He won't take my calls. IDK why.
I think I am going to take a nap. Maybe I would feel more refreshed? Doubt it.
Oh hey, God, help me out here?