I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN!
This weekend started off very well...
Friday morning woke up and hung with my momma who's here visiting me and the family...
We all loaded up in the vehicle...
And drove to the coast...
There things just kept getting better...
Then I got service on my phone...
And "ring ring ring" goes the call of pain...
I hear a faint voice on the other end say very softly with a sound that I only know comes from eyes filled with tears and nose running from the constant release...
It was Caleb....
My cousin in Indiana...
He called me for a reason...
He had a sort of agony and purpose in his voice which still thinkin of it makes me have chills run throughout my whole body...
He asked if I was ok...
I replied...as ok as I can get...
He said sit down...
I thought FUCK!
He then informed me that my grandfather was diagnosed with Lung Cancer yesterday!
LUNG CANCER!
I cannot do this again...
GODDAMMIT!
THE PAIN IS ALL BACK AGAIN...
I'M TIRED OF THIS SHIT!
I'M LOSING ENERGY AND STRENGTH FASTER THEN I HAVE SINCE MY TIME...
I FEEL MY BODY AND MIND JUST FALLING FASTER AND FASTER IN THAT STATE OF PURE HATE AND ANGER...
PURE ANIMOSITY...
PURE PISSED OFF ITALIAN/GERMAN MAN!
DAMMIT!
WHY MY FAMILY...THIS SHIT NEVER SEEMS TO SIEZE...
NEVER ANY SIGN OF GIVING UP ALWAYS COMING BACK AND KICING MY FUCKING ASS!
I WENT FROM FEELING AN ALL TIME HIGH OF LIFE...
TO ROCK BOTTOM.
WHEN THOSE WORDS WERE UTTERED TO ME...
i WAS SITTING...
BUT I FELL...
I FELL HARD TOO...FEELING MY WHOLE SPIRIT JUST CRASH INTO THE FLOOR...
I FELT LIFELESS...
ANGRY...
THEY ARE OPERATING THIS THURSDAY!
PRAY TO WHATYEVER FUCKING GOD YOU BELIEVE IN...
THIS SHIT IS BAD...
THE DOCTOR HAS WARNED US ALL...
IT'S BAD...
PRAY...
CANDLES, HERBS, CRUCIFIX, OILS, JESUS, ALA, WHAEVER YOUR GOD IS...
PRAY TO THEM...
HELP ME...
HELP ME
HELP ME
HELP
HELP
Friday morning woke up and hung with my momma who's here visiting me and the family...
We all loaded up in the vehicle...
And drove to the coast...
There things just kept getting better...
Then I got service on my phone...
And "ring ring ring" goes the call of pain...
I hear a faint voice on the other end say very softly with a sound that I only know comes from eyes filled with tears and nose running from the constant release...
It was Caleb....
My cousin in Indiana...
He called me for a reason...
He had a sort of agony and purpose in his voice which still thinkin of it makes me have chills run throughout my whole body...
He asked if I was ok...
I replied...as ok as I can get...
He said sit down...
I thought FUCK!
He then informed me that my grandfather was diagnosed with Lung Cancer yesterday!
LUNG CANCER!
I cannot do this again...
GODDAMMIT!
THE PAIN IS ALL BACK AGAIN...
I'M TIRED OF THIS SHIT!
I'M LOSING ENERGY AND STRENGTH FASTER THEN I HAVE SINCE MY TIME...
I FEEL MY BODY AND MIND JUST FALLING FASTER AND FASTER IN THAT STATE OF PURE HATE AND ANGER...
PURE ANIMOSITY...
PURE PISSED OFF ITALIAN/GERMAN MAN!
DAMMIT!
WHY MY FAMILY...THIS SHIT NEVER SEEMS TO SIEZE...
NEVER ANY SIGN OF GIVING UP ALWAYS COMING BACK AND KICING MY FUCKING ASS!
I WENT FROM FEELING AN ALL TIME HIGH OF LIFE...
TO ROCK BOTTOM.
WHEN THOSE WORDS WERE UTTERED TO ME...
i WAS SITTING...
BUT I FELL...
I FELL HARD TOO...FEELING MY WHOLE SPIRIT JUST CRASH INTO THE FLOOR...
I FELT LIFELESS...
ANGRY...
THEY ARE OPERATING THIS THURSDAY!
PRAY TO WHATYEVER FUCKING GOD YOU BELIEVE IN...
THIS SHIT IS BAD...
THE DOCTOR HAS WARNED US ALL...
IT'S BAD...
PRAY...
CANDLES, HERBS, CRUCIFIX, OILS, JESUS, ALA, WHAEVER YOUR GOD IS...
PRAY TO THEM...
HELP ME...
HELP ME
HELP ME
HELP
HELP