emo post...sorry....
alright..so nothing much has been going on, but yeah....i'm just getting tired of being alone. no matter what i do or who i'm with somehow i always feel alone. i guess i'm trying to detach myself from all of my friends somewhat so i won't throw a kicking, screaming, crying fit when they go off to college. *sigh* i hate being so much younger than they are. i mean, i have hardly any friends in my grade level, because unlike most of the kids in my grade, i'm interested in things besides who's in who's pants. i don't care about J.Lo and Ben and i couldn't give a shit if Demi Moore was dating one of the Olsen twins. i like to talk about things and god forbid, ideas. art, music, world politics, religous beliefs, society's undermining of the person, individuality, how people try and force us to be something we're not... call me weird, (i've been getting it since kindergarten...don't worry i'm used to it) call me whatever you want, i just don't care about stupid trivial matters. i swear to you, the way that some of the kids at my school act...i didn't even act like that in kindergarten. i was too busy listening to Green Day, Nirvana and Motley Crue to give a shit about Barney and stupid bodily functions (which somehow are still funy to this day to some people.) blah...it's just...next year i'm going to be alone. i'm not going to be able to have a decent conversation with anyone until my senior year and maybe not even then. the only person that i can think of that is even remotely close to my age and interested in half the things i am is Josh. he's this guy that one of my best friends got set up on a date with for homecoming...god, he's amazing. i mean...we're practically the same personality wise...even Jenny said so. i guess i could get Jenny to give me his number before she leaves at the end of the year, but he doesn't live here. so, i'm going to be alone. everyone i love is leaving and that's that. i'm tired of being alone, i'm tired of being the youngest, i'm tired of stupid, immature people...i'm just sick of it all and i want to leave this stupid ass hick town. i know the people won't be different, everywhere you go there's someone that reminds you of someone in the place you left behind...but maybe just being somewhere else would be good.... god i hate this.