Why Ben is Awesome:
punchlinexdivine (9:58:25 PM): i just feel like a nobody
Ben (10:03:11 PM): you aren't baby. everybody is a somebody in some shape or form. I know how you feel. I really do, but we'll get through it baby. I'll be there for you, you'll get your training, you'll get a job, and we'll be ok sweetheart. I've spent the last hour looking at ideas for nice super sweet and romantic things I could do for you and I have an idea or two mulling in my head. You know I'll take care of you baby. I don't want you to feel alone. I will be the one who you can turn to who will make you feel loved and wanted. I will be the one who will make you feel like the most important person in the world. I will find a way to make you feel special baby. I swear to you I will. You are the love of my life and I'll do whatever I can to make you feel special and to give you that day where everyone can stare at you in your wedding dress and see you walk down the aisle to me. I promise I'll give you that baby
punchlinexdivine (10:03:39 PM): yeah, whatever
punchlinexdivine (10:03:52 PM): something'll probably happen and someone else will be the star of the show
punchlinexdivine (10:04:03 PM): i'm always bottom of the totem pole
punchlinexdivine (10:04:07 PM): i'm always the last
punchlinexdivine (10:04:15 PM): no one cares about me besides you
punchlinexdivine (10:04:55 PM): i could die right now and youd be the only one to give a shit
Ben (10:05:23 PM): I know the friends we have online are just over the internet, but they all care. And we can go out and make new friends. We can make new friends who will care about you as much as I do. Don't worry darling.
punchlinexdivine (10:05:34 PM): right
punchlinexdivine (10:05:36 PM): bullshit
punchlinexdivine (10:05:42 PM): ill believe it when it fucking happens
punchlinexdivine (10:05:51 PM): which is oh yeah never
Ben (10:13:00 PM): Prove it that it will be never. You don't know that it will never happen. Wherever we go, we can meet and hang out with the neighbors. We can go out wherever we want to. You'll meet coworkers who we can hang out with. There's plenty of things we can do, and a shit load of time we can do it in. there's no sense in giving up hope babe. I know you feel like the last person for everything. I know the feeling, I really do. Just try to trust and believe me that we can change. anything is possible if you just believe in it and work towards it. Anything can happen. TIme is not set in stone. The only thing that is is history which already happened. The future is yet to happen and we can do whatever we want to change how it turns out. There's no way of knowing what will happen because it hasn't happened yet. Just believe me. We can change what happens as much as we want. We aren't bound to our past. There are plenty of people out there who have made something out of nothing at some point in their life and there's no reason why we can't do the same. We just have to start somewhere. I don't care if we aren't rich. I don't care if we have a house that needs to be worked on every other day to make it in halfway decent shape. Just as long as you have me, and I have you and a roof over our head, we can make something out of nothing. We can build on anything. I promise you. I swear to you. If we work together we can build something together...our life. We can build it together starting anywhere. We can do it. I swear to you we can.
punchlinexdivine (10:14:52 PM): uh huh
Ben (10:18:37 PM): I know I may be a huge idealist, but thinking and dreaming gives me the drive and the ambition to fight for you and to give me something to look forward to and something to strive for. I know I say the same thing a lot, but being an idealist to me gives me a goal to push for and to take you with me to that goal. I know it isn't much, but it always brings me back to you and to always try to bolster your spirits, to pick you up when you're down, to catch you when you fall, to help you when you're hurt, to care for you when you need it. My outlook to the future always gives me what I need to try to always be there for you, to treat you better than I have ever treated anyone else, to always listen to you when you need to talk, to always be the shoulder you can cry on
punchlinexdivine (10:19:35 PM): whatever
Ben (10:29:34 PM): babe. I know it isn't easy. It's never been easy for me, and I understand how hard it's been for you. I really do understand. You're not alone. I never want you to feel like you are alone. I just want to be the one thing that is always good to you and always treats you right. I just want you to see that the future doesn't judge our actions, but our actions judge our future. If we gave up now, what is there to plan for? what is there to do? Why throw everything we've worked on out the window? Like your tarot cards said, our relationship is a bit of a big deal. To me, it really is a big deal. Like they also said, it takes hard work but we'll make it work. Sure we have our downs like now, but I always try to pull you out of them and usually it works. You just have to believe that we can change what can happen. We've made it this far. I know it isn't a year and a half yet, but for being over a year already, I'd say we're doing pretty good. We're going on 16 months in 13 days. You are by far, the longest stable, loving relationship I've ever had. I'm so grateful for that bowling trip. If I had not gone, I would never have met you...and where would that leave us? I am more than grateful that I have met you. You have been the light at the end of the tunnel for me every single day for the last year and a quarter. You have always been the first and last things on my mind when I go to bed and wake up in the morning. I think about you ALL THE TIME. Every day I wish I could be closer to you. every day I feel our love grows stronger and stronger. Every moment I'm with you I feel closer and closer to you, whether or not we are actually doing anything or not. Even when I'm watching TV and you're on the computer, I still feel like I'm closer to you than ever before. You are my love and my life. We'll make it baby I promise you.