003 look to the western sky

[uranophobe]

[Zombies? Eh, ain't no big; it's not like Crane hasn't dealt with this sort of thing before. With a questionable level of success. The course of action he must take is obvious. Not being a very sentimental man, he takes his regained uniform to the Post Office and hopes for the best.

For once in his life, the best actually happens.]

JONATHAN CRANE OF

Comments

[toothsnort]

[Man, first zombies and now this! He's never going to get to his first day of work!

There's a rather dim-looking twenty-something young man running down the street dressed in a bartender outfit and waving a golf club as the crows chase and peck at him.]

Oh come on! Piss off! I don't even have food in my pockets this time!

[uranophobe]

[The crows seem to be trying to steal the club away from him.

You know crows and their shinies.]

[toothsnort]

[Oh hell no that is Rittz' shiny! He'll do his damnedest to try and keep them from getting it, including finally resorting to actually swinging at them.

Considering part of his sport involves swinging at shit with a blunt object, he's pretty good at it. Exactly how much that matters against creatures made entirely of light? Yeah, kind of debatable. But he's still going at it.]

[uranophobe]

[The crows explode upon contact with the golf club, but, for every one that falls, two more come to replace it. Eventually, Rittz will be surrounded by a cloud of screeching crows.

If he can hear anything above the din, he might catch a snippet of harsh laughter. If he can see anything outside the light, he may see an odd figure in the air, watching him. And laughing.]

1/2

[toothsnort]

[Oh, well fudge. That's pretty not a-okay, and Rittz brings his club closer to himself in fear as he finds he's been completely blocked off from any path of escape available to him.

He hears the laughter, just barely, above the squawking. And in his fear, timidly looks up.]

[toothsnort]

[Before frowning at the big fat jerk laughing at him. What a jerk.]

Hey! Are you laughing at me?

Man, not cool!

[uranophobe]

[The crows disappear all at once.] It's hardly my fault that you reacted so amusingly.

[toothsnort]

Well that doesn't mean you can just pick on me.

[Well, at least Skip says that's how he should assert himself about this.]

Besides, it's not like it's that funny. They were just crows.

[uranophobe]

It's something of an... in-joke, I suppose. You wouldn't understand.

I wouldn't have had the chance, if you hadn't been out in the first place. Playing hero, are you, boy?

[toothsnort]

Uh, not really.

Today's my first day of work at the bar, and really I'm just kinda trying to get there.

So I guess I'm a hero, kind of! Like, a working class hero for all the people in need.

In need of booze.

[uranophobe]

... For some strange reason, I'm rather sure no one would mind if you missed a few days.

[toothsnort]

I dunno. It's kind of my first job aside from my other first job which is kind of like a game so I don't really consider it a job.

But like, I keep getting told first impressions are important so it's probably important I don't miss it.

[uranophobe]

You won't make much of an impression when you're dead, will you.

A baseball bat. Really. [judging]

[toothsnort]

Oh well I'm kinda making sure I don't die.

No, see, it's a golf club!

[And he waves the golf club in the air a bit, smiling.]

Don't worry, I'd get confused sometimes too, until Skip helped explain the difference between them.

Though I guess I shouldn't be using it like a bat. But you're supposed to hit zombies in the head and not the crotch, right?

Or is it the other way around?

shut up he's bart allen-shaped I can read

[uranophobe]

The key is to destroy the brain. Like so.

[He catches a zombie shambling about out of the corner of his eye. The yellow scythe leaves his hand and dices the zombie's head before returning to him once again. He wipes off a bit of the gore on his jacket.]

No never assholery forever. I'm sorry, I just couldn't pass the joke up.

[toothsnort]

[Oh, well...ouch. That looks a lot more painful in comparison to just bashing their skulls in for some reason. Really, he hadn't been giving it much thought until now.]

Oh. Can I keep heading on to work now, creepy scarecrow man?