True faces part three of three
Title: True faces part one of three.
Series: Scars of the past complicate the future.
Pairing: Sharon and Andy.
Word count: 1243
Rating:T
AN: Warning for mention of abuse.
Credit for the screencaps I used in the banner go to akachankami I found them on mc_screencaps
Earlier chapters can be found (here)
True faces part three of three.
She had the feeling he was pinching right through her. It was still hard for her to share her feelings. To open up to someone. She knew Andy was serious, he loved her, she loved him, but she had loved before, she had given her heart to someone before and she was still dealing with that heartache. She had carefully build up that brick wall around her, to protect herself. She wasn't sure whether she could handle her heart being stepped on again.
He walked towards her, gently wrapping his arms around her, although she didn't relax into his embrace. She was shutting him out. He sighed, not letting her go. Whispering in her ear.
"I believe Rusty asked you to call me over here, not for himself, but for you. No matter how hard you're trying to mask it. We both see it. Honey, you're a mess."
He heard her swallow back her tears.
"This stirred up something. Something you had probably perfectly compartmentalized. I believe you should talk about it."
She bowed her head. He saw her shaking her head.
"Do you doubt my love for you, is that it?"
Her head snapped up, her eyes locking on his. The perfect mixture of different shades of green, now unclear, because of the tears that glistened in them. So much pain that it sliced right through his heart.
"No, that's not it…"
"He hurt you that much, huh?"
Her eyes closed and tears travelled down her cheeks. He pulled her closer, placing kisses at her hairline.
"I don't know what he did to you…I can see though how much you're hurt and I can't possibly understand how you could hurt such a sensitive and loving woman as you are. I could never do that to you…"
Why was he telling her this? Her husband probably had promised to never hurt her as well. He kissed the side of her face, rocking her in his arms.
"He probably told you the same thing…"
He sighed deep. "How about I'll just hold you for now, give you all the time you need."
He was so caring…so thoughtful. She buried her face in his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist, as she needed to feel him. Know that he wasn't leaving. She thought about how long she had known him already.
All those years in IA, even though they had mainly argued, he had never presented himself like someone else. Later on when she had been assigned to find the snitch, the talks they'd had, while sharing lunch together. The last months as they'd become much more than just friends.
How long had she known Richard? She surely hadn't known him well enough. Young and naïve, believing he could change, that she could change him. Learning the hard way, she couldn't.
Andy wasn't Richard though. Maybe it was time to tell him.
" It was a bit later than usual, some meeting came up. "
He held his breath for a moment as she'd began to talk. Her voice not a lot more than a whisper.
"When I opened the door, I could hear Richard's raised voice. It took me a moment to actually realize, he was yelling at our son. Our eight year old, who just stood there, while his father lashed out at him verbally."
She swallowed, feeling Andy's hand circling her back. The memory vivid in her mind, like it had happened yesterday, instead of almost twenty years ago.
"I saw the opened bottle of wine, the glass, which never seemed empty. Knowing that there probably was no direct reason for him to explode like that. I had never seen him lashing out at our children before though. Normally I was the one he'd act out to. Yelling, spiteful words, the pleasure in his eyes as he knew his words would hurt me. He took pleasure in that. I would have never thought he'd act the same towards either of our children though."
'Bastard', that's all he could think. Taking it out on his wife, his children. He hadn't been world's best husband and father. Also due to alcoholism. He had never hurt his children though, not mentally, not physically. He had hurt them in other ways, like never being around, spending the hours after work in a bar. Shouting matches with their mother only occurred when she'd been drinking too. They had been poison for one another.
Richard Bradford was just mean in character. The other day in her office, he didn't get the impression that he was drunk.
"I came in between Samuel and Richard. Telling him that he had crossed a line, talking to our son like that. There was this rage in his eyes and before I knew it, his hand lashed out, slapping me in my face. For a moment I just stared in shock, touching my cheek as it stung. He had yelled at me before, had been mean, but he had never hurt me physically."
Sharon swallowed blinking back tears as the memory was more vivid than she had imagined it to be.
"Our eyes met and I could see shock in his eyes as well. I believe he had sobered up instantly. But too late. I put some things in a weekend bag, for the children, me, then I got Grace out of her bed and we walked out of that house. Never came back."
Andy pulled her near, so he could give her a small kiss. He just had to be close to her, feel her, have her feel him.
"I went to my parents. Relieved they were out of town for a few weeks. That gave me the time to arrange everything. I hired a lawyer, had him deal with custody matters, the legal separation. I took a leave of absence from work, until everything was settled. I bought this apartment and we moved back to L.A."
He wondered about what she didn't tell him. This was the short version, the uncomplicated one. Richard didn't strike him as the man, who had just simply let them leave.
"It had happened once and I would never let it happen again."
"You did the right thing."
Closing his eyes he pressed his lips against her forehead. God knows what could have happened to either her or the children if she had stayed with that guy. Grateful that she had made the choice to walk out on him.
"When I saw the look in Rusty's eyes today, I was thrown back into the past. I saw Sammy's eyes, the shock over his father's reaction, I just…I should have protected them better."
"No, not gonna let you do this, You're a good mom…When I see you with Rusty I see prove of that. You're a good mom, Sharon."
She wasn't the crying kind and now it seemed as she couldn't stop. Like the flood gates had opened and all the anguish she had bottled up for years was set free. Gently he stroke her back, preoccupied as his mind was far away. It was with that bastard of a husband of hers. He'd better not run into that guy anytime soon.
Series: Scars of the past complicate the future.
Pairing: Sharon and Andy.
Word count: 1243
Rating:T
AN: Warning for mention of abuse.
Credit for the screencaps I used in the banner go to akachankami I found them on mc_screencaps
Earlier chapters can be found (here)
True faces part three of three.
She had the feeling he was pinching right through her. It was still hard for her to share her feelings. To open up to someone. She knew Andy was serious, he loved her, she loved him, but she had loved before, she had given her heart to someone before and she was still dealing with that heartache. She had carefully build up that brick wall around her, to protect herself. She wasn't sure whether she could handle her heart being stepped on again.
He walked towards her, gently wrapping his arms around her, although she didn't relax into his embrace. She was shutting him out. He sighed, not letting her go. Whispering in her ear.
"I believe Rusty asked you to call me over here, not for himself, but for you. No matter how hard you're trying to mask it. We both see it. Honey, you're a mess."
He heard her swallow back her tears.
"This stirred up something. Something you had probably perfectly compartmentalized. I believe you should talk about it."
She bowed her head. He saw her shaking her head.
"Do you doubt my love for you, is that it?"
Her head snapped up, her eyes locking on his. The perfect mixture of different shades of green, now unclear, because of the tears that glistened in them. So much pain that it sliced right through his heart.
"No, that's not it…"
"He hurt you that much, huh?"
Her eyes closed and tears travelled down her cheeks. He pulled her closer, placing kisses at her hairline.
"I don't know what he did to you…I can see though how much you're hurt and I can't possibly understand how you could hurt such a sensitive and loving woman as you are. I could never do that to you…"
Why was he telling her this? Her husband probably had promised to never hurt her as well. He kissed the side of her face, rocking her in his arms.
"He probably told you the same thing…"
He sighed deep. "How about I'll just hold you for now, give you all the time you need."
He was so caring…so thoughtful. She buried her face in his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist, as she needed to feel him. Know that he wasn't leaving. She thought about how long she had known him already.
All those years in IA, even though they had mainly argued, he had never presented himself like someone else. Later on when she had been assigned to find the snitch, the talks they'd had, while sharing lunch together. The last months as they'd become much more than just friends.
How long had she known Richard? She surely hadn't known him well enough. Young and naïve, believing he could change, that she could change him. Learning the hard way, she couldn't.
Andy wasn't Richard though. Maybe it was time to tell him.
" It was a bit later than usual, some meeting came up. "
He held his breath for a moment as she'd began to talk. Her voice not a lot more than a whisper.
"When I opened the door, I could hear Richard's raised voice. It took me a moment to actually realize, he was yelling at our son. Our eight year old, who just stood there, while his father lashed out at him verbally."
She swallowed, feeling Andy's hand circling her back. The memory vivid in her mind, like it had happened yesterday, instead of almost twenty years ago.
"I saw the opened bottle of wine, the glass, which never seemed empty. Knowing that there probably was no direct reason for him to explode like that. I had never seen him lashing out at our children before though. Normally I was the one he'd act out to. Yelling, spiteful words, the pleasure in his eyes as he knew his words would hurt me. He took pleasure in that. I would have never thought he'd act the same towards either of our children though."
'Bastard', that's all he could think. Taking it out on his wife, his children. He hadn't been world's best husband and father. Also due to alcoholism. He had never hurt his children though, not mentally, not physically. He had hurt them in other ways, like never being around, spending the hours after work in a bar. Shouting matches with their mother only occurred when she'd been drinking too. They had been poison for one another.
Richard Bradford was just mean in character. The other day in her office, he didn't get the impression that he was drunk.
"I came in between Samuel and Richard. Telling him that he had crossed a line, talking to our son like that. There was this rage in his eyes and before I knew it, his hand lashed out, slapping me in my face. For a moment I just stared in shock, touching my cheek as it stung. He had yelled at me before, had been mean, but he had never hurt me physically."
Sharon swallowed blinking back tears as the memory was more vivid than she had imagined it to be.
"Our eyes met and I could see shock in his eyes as well. I believe he had sobered up instantly. But too late. I put some things in a weekend bag, for the children, me, then I got Grace out of her bed and we walked out of that house. Never came back."
Andy pulled her near, so he could give her a small kiss. He just had to be close to her, feel her, have her feel him.
"I went to my parents. Relieved they were out of town for a few weeks. That gave me the time to arrange everything. I hired a lawyer, had him deal with custody matters, the legal separation. I took a leave of absence from work, until everything was settled. I bought this apartment and we moved back to L.A."
He wondered about what she didn't tell him. This was the short version, the uncomplicated one. Richard didn't strike him as the man, who had just simply let them leave.
"It had happened once and I would never let it happen again."
"You did the right thing."
Closing his eyes he pressed his lips against her forehead. God knows what could have happened to either her or the children if she had stayed with that guy. Grateful that she had made the choice to walk out on him.
"When I saw the look in Rusty's eyes today, I was thrown back into the past. I saw Sammy's eyes, the shock over his father's reaction, I just…I should have protected them better."
"No, not gonna let you do this, You're a good mom…When I see you with Rusty I see prove of that. You're a good mom, Sharon."
She wasn't the crying kind and now it seemed as she couldn't stop. Like the flood gates had opened and all the anguish she had bottled up for years was set free. Gently he stroke her back, preoccupied as his mind was far away. It was with that bastard of a husband of hers. He'd better not run into that guy anytime soon.