Airing of Grievances
It's Festivus today, and for those who aren't aware of it, Festivus dinner traditionally starts with the Airing of Grievances. Since I'm not going to be sitting down to a meal with most of the people I have problems with, I'm gonna get them out in the open here. (Full traditions can be seen here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus)
Let's start off with the biggest one: Congress. You people have consistently disappointed me with your blatant displays of ignorance. While most of my problems rest on the Republican party, everyone on Capitol Hill is to blame. You people refuse to compromise when you should, and compromise all too easily when you should stand your ground. You are supposed to be representatives of the American people, yet you only look out for your own interests and ignore or outright go against the will of those who have elected you. Your entire branch of government needs to be abolished and every single one of you needs to be called out individually on all your acts of dishonest and be tried for treason. If SOPA passes, I will not stay in this country.
Next up: Steve Jobs. I don't care that he's dead, that doesn't make up for the damage he's done. You sir, have set back the course of human history with your crappy gadgets and ad campaigns to dupe the populace into buying them. The technology for touch screens is still not well improved after multiple generations of iPhones; they continue to frequently lock up, drain battery life rapidly, and even if the tech behind them were flawless, there's not that much promise with them that you should be so heavily invested in it. You want a real innovation? Build items with gesture recognition. All it would take is one low resolution camera on the face of a phone and you could do everything that a touchscreen would do at a fraction of the battery costs, as well as an entire other degree of functionality. The iPad is the biggest waste of technology since the Atari 5200. You want a better functioning iPad? Get an e-reader running a patched Android OS. That'll give you access to open source software which is free, as opposed to only getting the programs Apple approves that you have to pay for.
The creators of Family Guy. Seriously, what the hell? I'm not saying you had the best show in the world, but you had a good show that was often very funny. The direction you've been taking it lately, however, is often just boring. Social and political satire is funny every once in a while, but you guys aren't writing the Daily Show, that's not the entire basis for your program. Sometimes I don't wanna hear about the state of the world and just laugh at something stupid. I don't know what's up with the 'edginess' it seems you've been trying to inject, but quite frankly it's just off-putting. And we get that you're trying to include something of an over-arching plot. Quagmire hates Brian, haha, cute, quit stuffing it down our throats. Speaking of Quagmire, I really really hate his character now. Part of that is my personal preferences, and I wasn't that attached to him to begin with. Also, did you guys really expect the Cleavland Show to be anything other than a flop? You took one of the least interesting characters on the show and gave them a spin off. That's like the Simpsons making a spin off with Millhouse.
Blizzard Entertainment. Don't get me wrong, I love you guys, but I've got one major complaint: You put a limit on the blocked list for Starcraft 2. There are a LOT of annoying douchebags on battle.net, and quite frankly I feel I should be able to block communication on everyone if I felt like it. In addition, I've looked everywhere and can't find the settings for my blocklist, so I have no idea how to take people off of it and free up space. Also, can you fix the damn boot function for game lobbies? So many games are ruined by laggers anymore, and it's a problem that can be solved very very simply.
Tite Kubo. You've let Bleach run on too long. I quit looking at it when Aizen was beat, and that's where it should have ended. Also, you still haven't shown Urahara's bankai, which is really the only thing I care about from the series anymore.
Youtube. Your new interface sucks. Seriously, knock the shit off with updating everything. It wasn't broke, so don't try to fix it.
Chicago. The entire city. Mostly focused on parking and driving, but really your entire city is just a huge pain in the ass.
Companies that require an account with them specifically just to apply for a job. I realize you might think it's better to weed out the less ambitious, but really it's just a pain for those who might actually want to work for you. Forcing me to go through an extra hour and a half to apply with you specifically isn't going to save anyone time when compared to me simply emailing you my resume. In the end, someone still has to sit down and read the damn thing. I have yet to get so much as a call or an email from any company that has its own log in anyway, so I'm inclined to disbelieve that you actually save any information I give you anyway.
Red Lobster. Really I haven't been in one for a few years, but my complaints still stand. You guys cut your portions and upped your prices. I realize seafood is going to be expensive, but you've taken it to a ridiculous point. I've eaten at actual seaside restaurants, and while your prices are comparable to theirs, you firstly lack the appeal of actually being on the ocean, and secondly they serve more food than you. You're not THAT high quality, so stop acting like you are.
Toyota owners. Every single one I've dealt with on the road drives like a complete and utter moron. I'm not saying that everyone that drives a Toyota is an ass, but the ones that aren't are the exceptions to the rule. For the rest of you, either go back to driving school and get it right or start taking the bus.
Alright, I think that's good enough for now. There's a lot more I could go on about, but this is what I've come up with without putting in too much effort. Besides, I need to get my banana bread baked so I can head over to my folks.
Let's start off with the biggest one: Congress. You people have consistently disappointed me with your blatant displays of ignorance. While most of my problems rest on the Republican party, everyone on Capitol Hill is to blame. You people refuse to compromise when you should, and compromise all too easily when you should stand your ground. You are supposed to be representatives of the American people, yet you only look out for your own interests and ignore or outright go against the will of those who have elected you. Your entire branch of government needs to be abolished and every single one of you needs to be called out individually on all your acts of dishonest and be tried for treason. If SOPA passes, I will not stay in this country.
Next up: Steve Jobs. I don't care that he's dead, that doesn't make up for the damage he's done. You sir, have set back the course of human history with your crappy gadgets and ad campaigns to dupe the populace into buying them. The technology for touch screens is still not well improved after multiple generations of iPhones; they continue to frequently lock up, drain battery life rapidly, and even if the tech behind them were flawless, there's not that much promise with them that you should be so heavily invested in it. You want a real innovation? Build items with gesture recognition. All it would take is one low resolution camera on the face of a phone and you could do everything that a touchscreen would do at a fraction of the battery costs, as well as an entire other degree of functionality. The iPad is the biggest waste of technology since the Atari 5200. You want a better functioning iPad? Get an e-reader running a patched Android OS. That'll give you access to open source software which is free, as opposed to only getting the programs Apple approves that you have to pay for.
The creators of Family Guy. Seriously, what the hell? I'm not saying you had the best show in the world, but you had a good show that was often very funny. The direction you've been taking it lately, however, is often just boring. Social and political satire is funny every once in a while, but you guys aren't writing the Daily Show, that's not the entire basis for your program. Sometimes I don't wanna hear about the state of the world and just laugh at something stupid. I don't know what's up with the 'edginess' it seems you've been trying to inject, but quite frankly it's just off-putting. And we get that you're trying to include something of an over-arching plot. Quagmire hates Brian, haha, cute, quit stuffing it down our throats. Speaking of Quagmire, I really really hate his character now. Part of that is my personal preferences, and I wasn't that attached to him to begin with. Also, did you guys really expect the Cleavland Show to be anything other than a flop? You took one of the least interesting characters on the show and gave them a spin off. That's like the Simpsons making a spin off with Millhouse.
Blizzard Entertainment. Don't get me wrong, I love you guys, but I've got one major complaint: You put a limit on the blocked list for Starcraft 2. There are a LOT of annoying douchebags on battle.net, and quite frankly I feel I should be able to block communication on everyone if I felt like it. In addition, I've looked everywhere and can't find the settings for my blocklist, so I have no idea how to take people off of it and free up space. Also, can you fix the damn boot function for game lobbies? So many games are ruined by laggers anymore, and it's a problem that can be solved very very simply.
Tite Kubo. You've let Bleach run on too long. I quit looking at it when Aizen was beat, and that's where it should have ended. Also, you still haven't shown Urahara's bankai, which is really the only thing I care about from the series anymore.
Youtube. Your new interface sucks. Seriously, knock the shit off with updating everything. It wasn't broke, so don't try to fix it.
Chicago. The entire city. Mostly focused on parking and driving, but really your entire city is just a huge pain in the ass.
Companies that require an account with them specifically just to apply for a job. I realize you might think it's better to weed out the less ambitious, but really it's just a pain for those who might actually want to work for you. Forcing me to go through an extra hour and a half to apply with you specifically isn't going to save anyone time when compared to me simply emailing you my resume. In the end, someone still has to sit down and read the damn thing. I have yet to get so much as a call or an email from any company that has its own log in anyway, so I'm inclined to disbelieve that you actually save any information I give you anyway.
Red Lobster. Really I haven't been in one for a few years, but my complaints still stand. You guys cut your portions and upped your prices. I realize seafood is going to be expensive, but you've taken it to a ridiculous point. I've eaten at actual seaside restaurants, and while your prices are comparable to theirs, you firstly lack the appeal of actually being on the ocean, and secondly they serve more food than you. You're not THAT high quality, so stop acting like you are.
Toyota owners. Every single one I've dealt with on the road drives like a complete and utter moron. I'm not saying that everyone that drives a Toyota is an ass, but the ones that aren't are the exceptions to the rule. For the rest of you, either go back to driving school and get it right or start taking the bus.
Alright, I think that's good enough for now. There's a lot more I could go on about, but this is what I've come up with without putting in too much effort. Besides, I need to get my banana bread baked so I can head over to my folks.