Feast II: Sloppy Seconds
I've just survived 97 minutes of this atrocity. I have only survived this because Divinity demands I warn the rest of humanity against this tripe. I'm sorry, I've just insulted perfectly good tripe.
I watched the first "Feast" and enjoyed some of the humor that the movie had. It wasn't greatness, but it had its moments...and the character intros really made the movie. I found it fun, because I find horror movies fairly fun in general. (Yeah, that's my damage.) So, I figured...same director, maybe this one will have a few good parts to it too, and won't be a waste of time.
Wrong. Dead wrong. So wrong.
This movie has something to offend everyone, and considering the low bar that many horror fans set for the genre...well, this level of vileness is a feat. The gross-out factor is over the top, and insanely pointless in places. Violence is used against everyone...men, women, children, the elderly, Mexican midget wrestlers...and then there's what the monsters do as well. (Again, not a joke.) Plot is nigh non-existant, and nary a sympathetic character can be found.
The only reason I expect this movie was even released had to have been contractual obligation. If anyone knows John Gulager (the writer/direcor) , I humbly beseech you to do things: first, kick the man square in the nads. Don't hold back, don't show mercy...just take your best shot right in the hoolies. He deserves it, really. Second, try to get my rental money back.
I'm off to go shower now...like the shower the guy takes in "The Crying Game".
Rating: 0 exploding, fluid-filled monster corpses out of 5. Nada.
I watched the first "Feast" and enjoyed some of the humor that the movie had. It wasn't greatness, but it had its moments...and the character intros really made the movie. I found it fun, because I find horror movies fairly fun in general. (Yeah, that's my damage.) So, I figured...same director, maybe this one will have a few good parts to it too, and won't be a waste of time.
Wrong. Dead wrong. So wrong.
This movie has something to offend everyone, and considering the low bar that many horror fans set for the genre...well, this level of vileness is a feat. The gross-out factor is over the top, and insanely pointless in places. Violence is used against everyone...men, women, children, the elderly, Mexican midget wrestlers...and then there's what the monsters do as well. (Again, not a joke.) Plot is nigh non-existant, and nary a sympathetic character can be found.
The only reason I expect this movie was even released had to have been contractual obligation. If anyone knows John Gulager (the writer/direcor) , I humbly beseech you to do things: first, kick the man square in the nads. Don't hold back, don't show mercy...just take your best shot right in the hoolies. He deserves it, really. Second, try to get my rental money back.
I'm off to go shower now...like the shower the guy takes in "The Crying Game".
Rating: 0 exploding, fluid-filled monster corpses out of 5. Nada.