Dream § 001
I could remember how my father used to say that the reason for living was to get ready to stay dead a long time.
It's raining again, and the earth is moist and soft. You haven't got any shoes on because sometimes, you like to walk through the grass and feel the mud squelch between your toes. It somehow makes you feel more connected to rest of the world. Reminds you of your purpose, of your roots planted in earth.
You are a leaf. Konoha extends its roots deeper down.
( and suddenly the world is burning burning burning and konoha is a pile of rubble-- you cannot escape from the prison of rocks that has you trapped waist-deep-- rinnengan swirl swirl strong sthhh sthhhh-- burning burning --
But here, the mud feels different between your toes. It's colder here; different, not warm. Earth has disconnected from the root of what made you you, or maybe you were the one who disconnected when your leaf fell off the branch.
--the earth is breaking and splitting and your heart thump thumps too fast then too slow then not at all -- here we go around again, sthh sthhhh-- now i will have you die he says and you think this is it, this is it, it's over for me--
Somarium feels large and empty. This space is too vast, you think.
--twenty nine years over but your life had been longer than it should have been but you wish it was a little longer when konoha is burning burning burning -- obito rin sensei i'm coming )
He smiles in a way that is too soft and too reassuring, and when you see him, your heart lurches right into your throat and you stop breathing. He's just like you remember, strong and calm; wind over waves in the harbor. His hair is dandelion yellow, though you remember that sometimes it looks like gold spun in the sun during summer.
"Sensei," you manage to say, but your voice sounds funny. Maybe a little too thick, too hoarse, with too much of everything and not enough indifference.
If he's surprised he doesn't act it. "It's been a long time," he says, and his hand is heavy on your shoulder.
You don't know what to say. You forget how to speak.
He looks at you with the knowing sky of his gaze. "You did your best." So stop blaming yourself, he seems to say.
You don't know what to say. So you say nothing at all.
"Ah~h," he chides softly and gives your shoulder a squeeze. "You were always too hard on yourself, Kakashi. We'll have to work on that."
[credit | William Faulkner ]
*He wakes slowly and breathes in the smell of night and damp grass, his right eye opening hazily to stare up at the leaves above him. He'd slept outside, to feel closer to earth. Somehow, it makes him feel more connected.*
It's raining again, and the earth is moist and soft. You haven't got any shoes on because sometimes, you like to walk through the grass and feel the mud squelch between your toes. It somehow makes you feel more connected to rest of the world. Reminds you of your purpose, of your roots planted in earth.
You are a leaf. Konoha extends its roots deeper down.
( and suddenly the world is burning burning burning and konoha is a pile of rubble-- you cannot escape from the prison of rocks that has you trapped waist-deep-- rinnengan swirl swirl strong sthhh sthhhh-- burning burning --
But here, the mud feels different between your toes. It's colder here; different, not warm. Earth has disconnected from the root of what made you you, or maybe you were the one who disconnected when your leaf fell off the branch.
--the earth is breaking and splitting and your heart thump thumps too fast then too slow then not at all -- here we go around again, sthh sthhhh-- now i will have you die he says and you think this is it, this is it, it's over for me--
Somarium feels large and empty. This space is too vast, you think.
--twenty nine years over but your life had been longer than it should have been but you wish it was a little longer when konoha is burning burning burning -- obito rin sensei i'm coming )
He smiles in a way that is too soft and too reassuring, and when you see him, your heart lurches right into your throat and you stop breathing. He's just like you remember, strong and calm; wind over waves in the harbor. His hair is dandelion yellow, though you remember that sometimes it looks like gold spun in the sun during summer.
"Sensei," you manage to say, but your voice sounds funny. Maybe a little too thick, too hoarse, with too much of everything and not enough indifference.
If he's surprised he doesn't act it. "It's been a long time," he says, and his hand is heavy on your shoulder.
You don't know what to say. You forget how to speak.
He looks at you with the knowing sky of his gaze. "You did your best." So stop blaming yourself, he seems to say.
You don't know what to say. So you say nothing at all.
"Ah~h," he chides softly and gives your shoulder a squeeze. "You were always too hard on yourself, Kakashi. We'll have to work on that."
[credit | William Faulkner ]
*He wakes slowly and breathes in the smell of night and damp grass, his right eye opening hazily to stare up at the leaves above him. He'd slept outside, to feel closer to earth. Somehow, it makes him feel more connected.*