This is why you tried to not let yourself fall into it. Going without it, running on adrenaline and soldier pills and sheer will. One day blurred into a dozen, and then the soldier pills ran out and sleep found you before you could run away again, and brought with it exactly what you were running from. The past has a bad habit of catching up with you when you sleep. It's been like this your entire life. It likes to tell you all the things you'd rather ignore, sublimate under layers of mask and a deflecting personality that is never affected by anything at all.
And here in this place where there's no privacy, it tells the whole world.
Everything.
And here he is, and Kakashi doesn't think he's ready for this. For the questions that he has all the answers for but can't give. Because ignorance is bliss and Iruka is living blindly, and Kakashi's never known what it was like to be blind the way he is because he's always seen reality for what it is: harsh and stark without any of the luster people see in the world when they still believe in it. Have hope in dreams, or in themselves. Or how children see the world -- bright and colorful and filled with possibilities. A sky that goes on forever and doesn't stop.
This is why you tried to not let yourself fall into it. Going without it, running on adrenaline and soldier pills and sheer will. One day blurred into a dozen, and then the soldier pills ran out and sleep found you before you could run away again, and brought with it exactly what you were running from. The past has a bad habit of catching up with you when you sleep. It's been like this your entire life. It likes to tell you all the things you'd rather ignore, sublimate under layers of mask and a deflecting personality that is never affected by anything at all.
And here in this place where there's no privacy, it tells the whole world.
Everything.
And here he is, and Kakashi doesn't think he's ready for this. For the questions that he has all the answers for but can't give. Because ignorance is bliss and Iruka is living blindly, and Kakashi's never known what it was like to be blind the way he is because he's always seen reality for what it is: harsh and stark without any of the luster people see in the world when they still believe in it. Have hope in dreams, or in themselves. Or how children see the world -- bright and colorful and filled with possibilities. A sky that goes on forever and doesn't stop.
They are so happy, children.
Living in a world where they are blind.
Ignorance is bliss.
For Iruka, at least. ]
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