Dream § Breathe
You know this place of quiet rocks, where the rain falls torrential and loud. Empties out the sky and wrings itself out.
You don't know how you know, or why. Only that you've made tracks here and the rocks are keeping you here with their silence. Their weight. And the scent of earth and growing things that you can wrap around yourself, breathe in, ( Read more... )
You don't know how you know, or why. Only that you've made tracks here and the rocks are keeping you here with their silence. Their weight. And the scent of earth and growing things that you can wrap around yourself, breathe in, ( Read more... )
[ There are so many things Akira doesn't trust. But these dreams, these feelings, they're too intense to be some kind of trick. It's probably wrong for him to believe it. He certainly doesn't want to, for one sick, long moment. Is it possible he lived through that? ]
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KAKASHI-SAN!
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Accidentally, his finger brushes over the "reply" button and he doesn't realize he's recording. So he's just frowning at the screen and slightly wincing from pain, a blank, disoriented look in his eye that has no recognition of the person screaming his name.
And adding a -san onto the end.
That's kind of strange. ]
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Because he thinks he knows that look a little bit. He's seen it in the mirror on bad mornings. And that connection's enough to force bile to the back of his throat. Akira shakes the notion. It can't be that way. And even if it is, there's nothing he can do, right? With a hand that's too steady (it should be shaking, and why isn't it?) he switches the transmission's settings ]
It's Akira.
Where are you?
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And so his gaze grows hard.
He doesn't say anything.
He just hangs up. ]
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[ Kakashi clearly didn't recognize him. Well, maybe he's hit his head or something. They've only known each other for a month or two. Clenching and unlcenching his jaw, Akira tries to think of what to do.
He can't get that look out of his mind. He wants to reach out to Kakashi, but what the hell can he say when he doesn't even know where he is? And who's to say that Kakashi would even want his help?
After a moment, he puts the Hitomi down. He decides it's better to just watch and see what everyone else does. Iruka will see this, and Minato, not to mention Sakura and the idiot, surely. Someone will know what to do. Suddenly recalling (so very aware of the irony) how Kakashi warned them all not to make it things worse by antagonizing people on the Hitomi, he decides it's best not to say any more.
Not that Kakashi's an enemy, but if he behaved in that manner he had to have had a reason. Best not to press it.
They know he's alive now, they'll find him... oh, damn it. He picks the Hitomi up. ]
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Hey. Akira again.
Uh.
I dunno you're listening or not. But everyone's missed you so bad.
We're going to get you home right away. So hang in there.
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Kakashi frowns. Stares at the screen once more. This must be some kind of psychological tactic, to get under his skin. Madara-sama did warn him about this. ]
Weapons don't have homes.
[ His voice is as empty as the look in his eye. He hangs up. ]
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Konoha is your home, Konoha!
And you're more than just a weapon. Iruka-sensei says... we're men, too, not just shinobi.
You're more than just a weapon. You're my friend. The first one I ever made here.
You helped make Konoha my home, too, because I didn't have one.
[ The moment of chaotic energy passes and Akira just looks into the screen defeatedly. ]
Kakashi-san... doesn't any of this ring a bell?
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This.
It has to all be a lie.
He hangs up without another word. ]
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Hey, hey! Waitasecond! You remember me, don't you?! Something about what I said got through!
Kakashi-san, I never got to tell you...
[ And he's choking on that thought, there. ]
I really look up to you. I think you're the best! I want to be strong like you, but able to laugh! When I saw Madara do those things, I was devastated! Everyone was!
I don't know what really happened, but... if you tell me where you are, we can bring you home to Konoha.
[ He's not so dumb he thinks that's simple, but once again he's running on a spike of excitement-fueled chemicals. ]
You're strong, okay? If it hurts, just hang in there a little while longer!
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He doesn't understand why this kid won't just leave him alone. Keeps calling back -- is this some kind of psychological attack? It has to be because Akira's talking crazy and it doesn't make sense and Kakashi's nowhere to be seen on the screen because the Hitomi is upside down and broadcasting a bunch of sheets.
His head feels like it's trying to cave in. Or burst.
Black spots are closing in on his vision.
Kakashi doesn't respond, but he's stopped trying to just hang up. He attempts to get up instead, to leave the Hitomi so he won't have to hear this kid's loud voice, but the moment he get up on his feet, vertigo hits.
The world tilts. So does he.
The Hitomi goes flying when Kakashi goes crashing back down, hands hitting the floor with his knees, sending the device across the room, rolling to a stop.
All that can be seen is the ceiling. ]
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Hey... talk to me. Tell me what's going on. Where does it hurt?
[ God, he doesn't really want to know the answer, does he? ]
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Too much. This is --
There are stars in his head and they're all exploding at once. Kakashi manages to lower himself back down onto the futon. Closes his eyes. Holds his head. Tries to cover his ears. ]
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Hey, if you breathe like that, it will make it worse. Calm down. Breathe more slowly.
[ Akira is at least managing to sound as calm as his words ought to merit. ]
You gotta think of your pain as a thing. You gotta put the pain in the box and lock it. Breathe and think of your pain being all locked up.
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So he just lies there. Holding his ears. Hoping the kid shuts up. ]
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