sooo much to venttttt
so.
in the last yearrrr i have:
transfereed from manhattan college
gone to pacce and loveeeed it
joined and left a sorrority
changed jobs
lost and gained weight
lost my first love....
me and mike broke up a month ago and it really is sooo surreal, theres about 10 millio emotions attached to this that i cant even pic one out.
im mad that shit didnt work out...that he just cudnt let his guard down and LOVE ME or if he did love me just SHOW ME...i mean getting a good nite kiss from him was like trying to kiss a grizzley bear or something it just didnt happen easily.
im sad and upset that for the past 2 years i thought i fell so deeply for a man who just cudnt show that he cared at all...how fuckin pathetic am i to gravel at a mans feet for love i just hate myself for it... how many times in class did i write "jessica raye egan" EVERYFUCKINWHERE...and nowww i have to look back at my old notes and its a reminder of all my dreams shattered, of hopes that have come crashing to the ground and me trying to be a romantic with some stupid idea that i wud spend the rest of my life with him.
i mean i did it...i broke up with him i freed my own self. a girl can only take so much of being treated like a second class citizen. i swear to god i made that man my world...he was fuckin GOD in my eyes and i was like a nobody in his eyes. now he can say he loved me allll he wants but u kno wut its easy to believe he did now but lookin back thats all just bullshit...if u love someone u dont tell them everything they stand for is shit. u dont hate on their family and friends non stop. u dont make them feel lower than low...
SOOOO now im alone, and u know wut for the first time in my life i like it this way...i hate guys rite now, the thought of being in a relationship makes me wanna puke...but idk i guess im fine by myself...except for the occasional lonely part of the day im doin ok...ill really be just fine.
in the last yearrrr i have:
transfereed from manhattan college
gone to pacce and loveeeed it
joined and left a sorrority
changed jobs
lost and gained weight
lost my first love....
me and mike broke up a month ago and it really is sooo surreal, theres about 10 millio emotions attached to this that i cant even pic one out.
im mad that shit didnt work out...that he just cudnt let his guard down and LOVE ME or if he did love me just SHOW ME...i mean getting a good nite kiss from him was like trying to kiss a grizzley bear or something it just didnt happen easily.
im sad and upset that for the past 2 years i thought i fell so deeply for a man who just cudnt show that he cared at all...how fuckin pathetic am i to gravel at a mans feet for love i just hate myself for it... how many times in class did i write "jessica raye egan" EVERYFUCKINWHERE...and nowww i have to look back at my old notes and its a reminder of all my dreams shattered, of hopes that have come crashing to the ground and me trying to be a romantic with some stupid idea that i wud spend the rest of my life with him.
i mean i did it...i broke up with him i freed my own self. a girl can only take so much of being treated like a second class citizen. i swear to god i made that man my world...he was fuckin GOD in my eyes and i was like a nobody in his eyes. now he can say he loved me allll he wants but u kno wut its easy to believe he did now but lookin back thats all just bullshit...if u love someone u dont tell them everything they stand for is shit. u dont hate on their family and friends non stop. u dont make them feel lower than low...
SOOOO now im alone, and u know wut for the first time in my life i like it this way...i hate guys rite now, the thought of being in a relationship makes me wanna puke...but idk i guess im fine by myself...except for the occasional lonely part of the day im doin ok...ill really be just fine.